If a guy is
truly interested in you as a person, and genuinely wants to know who
you are and what you stand for, he will still like you if you wait.
It’s so
interesting to me to hear some of the comments of other people. Not in a judgmental
kind of way, but in a ‘if you really knew your worth your mindset would be
different,’ kind of way.
Even though
I love our society and each day that I wake up is a day that I am excited to
live and just experience life and learn as much as possible, I think that one
of the negative consequences of living in such a “modern” culture is that we tend
to abandon most of the more traditional ideologies and principles that our
parents and the generations before us held.
For
instance, some women hear the word submissive and are automatically defensive
whereas this was a standard way of life for so many previous generations. Now a
guy can call a girl out of her name and in some relationships it be considered
a term of endearment versus being what it really is: disrespectful. Or how now
in modern society we see sex or overtly sexual images being displayed on
regular tv shows, and instead of it being rated R and being restricted for
younger viewing audiences, it is labeled pg or pg13.
Why does
all of that matter? Because it impacts us in one manner or another… Whether
positively or negatively, what we see or what we do impacts not just us but the
generation after us.
The young
girl who has watched physically intimate scenes on her tv screen day in and day
out is going to think that its completely normal and acceptable for her to do
the same thing. Depending on her age and maturity level, she is not going to
comprehend everything that she is seeing. She is just going to see something
happening and think that it’s ok for people to do it.
The young
guy who sees an entertainer that he looks up to calling another female an
expletive and then that female turning and smiling at him, is going to
interpret that scene as it being normal or acceptable for a female to be
treated that way.
In short,
what we allow is what will happen.
If you
have the mentality that a guy will only be interested in you if you sleep with him or if
you do things with him that you aren’t necessarily ready for, then those are
the situations that you are going to attract.
If
you think that it’s
acceptable for a guy to mistreat you because he was raised with difficult upbringings
and you feel sorry for him, but he continues to treat you wrong and you can’t
understand why…especially when you love him so much….then he is going to
continue on mistreating you.
As
long as you allow someone’s behavior, they are going to continue to do it.
In terms of
courting and dating, if a guy really cares about who you are, then he
is going to be interested in you. It is when you allow those
negative thoughts to creep into your mind that you have to sleep with someone
in order for them to be interested in you, or that you have to act a certain
way (contrary to who you are) just to keep a guy, that you are setting yourself up for heartache and pain and that the cycle
continues.
Raise
your standards and expect greatness.
Would you
rather have the guy who is interested in you because you temporarily pleased
him physically, or would you rather have the guy who says ‘This woman is
amazing….I have seen her at her best and her worse and I still want to make
this work with her. Regardless of what I go through in life, as long as she is
standing by my side, I know that we can work through anything together’.
One guy
wants you for your body or what you can offer him, and the other wants you for your character and person.
It really
boils down to not being a matter of ‘will he still like me if I wait’ or ‘can
we court instead of date’, but more so it’s a matter of ‘I know my worth and if
you acknowledge that I am worth waiting for and if we walk down this road
together respecting each other, then I promise to cherish you and treat you as
the king that you are’.
Don’t
settle for less than what you deserve. If you aren’t ready to do it then don’t.
If you want to court and not date then wait
for that guy who will respect those principles. He will be the one that is worth your time
and attention….not those other counterfeits.
-Virgin
Monologuez
P.S. Happy Monday J Hope you all have an incredible week!
A man will most definitely still like you if you stay true to yourself. Men love women who stick to who they are and have standards.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and commenting Aaron! I love when guys stop by and offer a male's perspective on these issues.
ReplyDeleteHey, I absolutely love your blogs and it encourages me everyday to keep strong and hold on to my values, morals and beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI'm a 21 year old from London, in my 2nd year of University and virgin and plan on staying that way until I'm married. I have a boyfriend of 7 months and he knows that I am a virgin. Every time this topic of virginity and marriage comes up, he always has this long list of reasons as to why he does not believe in marriage and does not see the point in people choosing to stay virgins until then. I tell him the many of the benefits not only physically, but spiritually, emotionally and mentally waiting until marriage can bring to the relationship yet he still is against it and he always tries to get me to be on his side, which then leads me to question myself as to why I am waiting and I hate it. I should never have to feel like I'm in the wrong for keeping myself until the Lord brings me my husband. I don't want to break up with him because I do have feelings for him but it is sooooo difficult being with someone when we don't share the same views.
What should I do??? Should I break up with him??? If so, what do I say???
Please help,
Thank you
I hope you don't mind if I butt in...I agree with J. If you tell your partner that you want to wait and he keeps pressuring you to change your mind and also has you questioning your faith and beliefs, it's not a good sign. God made it a law to wait for marriage before sex and if you follow this, he will bless you. I wish I had waited but being a male (because we are all into physical love) makes it harder for us to calm ourselves. Because he has had sex before, it will make it harder for him to not try you on the subject. It's not his fault, it's just an addiction that's hard to break. I know you like or love him and having someone feels so good, you want to really think about how this will play out in the end. Us men can get impatience with things like that. Talk with him again and get some future ideas from him.
DeleteHi @Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I would never try to suggest to someone that they break up with their boyfriend because I feel as though that is a decision that you have to come to on your on. Once people start giving you their opinions or suggesting that you do something that you aren’t ready for, if you later regret your decision you might become angry or resentful and that’s not my objective. That said, I can offer you some advice based of my own experiences (and some of the experiences of my female friends): In my longest relationship (which lasted almost three years), I told the guy up front that I was a virgin and I wanted to save myself until marriage. At first he was cool with that, but then as time grew on he started questioning me and asking me to compromise or change my ideas. He told me that we were going to be together forever (and all that other stuff that some guys say), and so one of his strongest arguments was he didn’t get the point of waiting if he was verbally making a commitment to me. Even though in my heart I knew it wasn’t right (because someone who cares about you should never pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do or aren’t ready for- especially if it goes against your morals and principles), I still stayed with him for a total of almost 3 years. During the last year and a half I started having thoughts like you, wondering does it really make a difference or why am I waiting? That’s when I knew that it was time to call it quits for us. Even though he broke up with me (because I wouldn’t compromise), it ended up being the best thing in the world that could have happened to me! I refuse to compromise my faith and values to be with someone who doesn’t respect me or value my opinions. Sorry for the long response, it’s just that I can relate so much to what you are experiencing. Pray about it and just do in your heart what you know is right. Stay encouraged :)
Thank you so much, it wasn't long at all it was just what I needed to hear (read). I will definitely pray about it.
ReplyDeleteAgain thank you :)
No problem. I wish you much happiness and success. Let me know if there’s anything else that I can help with you :)
ReplyDeleteFirst time reading your blogs I must say its very informative and well written thanks for sharing your stories and god bless :)
ReplyDeleteI don't mind at all Aaron Rose, it is good for me to get a males perspective on the issue as well. I know do need to think about think and definitely have a talk with him.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the advice.
P.S. I will without a doubt let you know if I need help with anything. Thank you so much J.
Mel :)
@EvettT, thank you very much. I pray that God blesses you as well.
ReplyDeleteLOVED, LOVED THIS POST!!! Yesss, this is WOW. I've read this about 3 times and I agree with everything that is said. I've always told myself that a guy will only go as far as I allow him to go. If I compromise, he'll take advantage of that opportunity. At age 20, I'm grateful to God for convicting me when I needed to be and for giving me the strength to resist temptation and remain a virgin ( I've only been involved with 2 guys, and I told them both at the get go that if they were looking for sex that I wasn't the one). I wish more girls would read this and believe it! I think it's not only applicable to girls but guys also. You are worth the wait! I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing!
ReplyDelete@Cam01, you made me smile! I'm 27 and I feel the same way. If it wasn’t for God’s grace, I don’t know where I would be. He has definitely kept me and convicted me when I needed to be, and I am so grateful for that. Also, it's always encouraging to know that you aren't alone and that there are other people out there who are going through some of the same things as you and are just as passionate about various topics as you are. Everyone is special and beautiful in their own way and we are all worth the wait...we just have to believe that. Thanks for commenting, and I hope you have an awesome day :)
ReplyDeleteHey ms virgin monologuez,
ReplyDelete*Its the 21 year old from London again*
Me and my boyfriend broke up recently. I started a part time job and he wasn't comfortable with that because he kept on thinking something was happening or going to happen with me and the guys there. He said that he was going to come to my job and have a word with them to warn them off. So instead of that happening and risk loosing my job (since he does have a really bad temper), I decided to quit and things had been going down hill since then.
But needless to say, I am so happy that the relationship has ended and now I can focus on God and myself with out any distractions.
Thank you so much for the advice, your words were such a blessing to me and I am sure to many others.
'I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases' Song of Solomon 8:4