4/29/13

Monologue Monday: Letters To My Younger Self #1

There is so much stuff that I would tell my younger self….So MUCH!

Since there is so much that I could say, (and I sat down and just over the course of about ten minutes I was able to write down a list that was at least a couple of pages long, so I’m not exaggerating about the SO MUCH part), but because of this, I honestly had no idea where to start.

Should I start with something funny? Juicy? Sentimental? Embarrassing?

So I figured why not just start with the basics. It may not be all that exciting or noteworthy, but it’s the truth, and it would have saved me a lot of heartache and disappointments had I known it then as I understand it now.

So here goes my first letter to my younger self…. 

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

 

Dear Younger Self:

Over the next couple of years, you are going to go through a lot of changes.

People are going to come in and out of your life, guys are going to be confusing, and in the midst of it all, you are going to be trying to find yourself.

My advice to you, (since I’ve kind of lived it already now Smile), is to learn to love yourself first.

Because you are so young, and understandably na├»ve in a lot of ways, some people (some of which you hang out with and confide in), are going to try to push you in this direction or that, and they aren’t going to have your best interest at heart…some of them will, but many more aren’t.

Once you learn to love yourself, and to be comfortable with who you are- in this stage that you are in now- what everyone else thinks or what they have to say about you won’t matter as much (if at all), because you will be comfortable with who you are.

As far as the guys who are trying to show you attention and whisper all kinds of non-sense to you, don’t fall for it. (Seriously…I know you want to date, and have fun, and have a boyfriend just like everybody else, but you need to focus on you first).

Besides, as you continue to grow up you will realize that many of those same guys who seemed so interested in you then had different plans than what was your understanding.

Wait on all that stuff until you have a better understanding of who you are….What’s the point of rushing to grow up any way?!?!

Well, that’s about all that I would say to you for now. I know you probably were expecting something grand or life changing, but nope….

My advice to you would simply be to learn to love yourself and to be comfortable with who you are….that simple, but that complex.

****P.S. What about you? What would you say to your younger self?

I know it may seem kinda weird, but it’s actually therapeutic! You can’t change it, so why not write about it and get it all out.*****

Male’s Perspective Interview: “Troy”

I was reading on my floor yesterday when I got up to get some water, and literally almost passed out. That had never happened to me before, EVER, but it’s like as soon as I stood up everything just kind of went blank.

I immediately laid down, while trying not to freak out too much, because I had no idea what was going on. I thought maybe I just got up too fast and it would just go away, but it didn’t.
Every time I would get up my head would just spin like crazy, I was really light-headed, and I could only lay my head to one side- if I laid it to the other side it felt like I was on a rollercoaster and made me even more dizzy then if I just stuck to laying on the other side.
After about 3 hours of this, I realized that I should probably contact someone- even though I really just wanted to toughen it out and just see if it would go away- because it was hindering my ability to do any thing.
I got someone to carry me to the hospital- and the doctor told me that I had an inner ear infection which was also causing symptoms of vertigo. I got some meds and was told to rest.
That was yesterday.
Although I’m relieved that it wasn’t something even more serious, I don’t like feeling like this…period.
Whereas yesterday my head was spinning constantly- I was scared to even go the bathroom because I thought I might hit the floor- today it is only spinning whenever I get up or am sitting up for too long. I hope that means I’m getting better.
That said, I know that I’m supposed to be writing a letter to my younger self today, but that’s going to have to wait until later on (tonight hopefully). (I’m only telling you all of this because I like keeping my word, but this is something that may be beyond my control).
In the meantime, here’s an interview that I did a couple of days ago. It was one of few words, but I still think that the interview revealed a lot and showcased another male’s perspective; continuing to demonstrate that all guys are not the same.
Check it out and let me know what you think, and I think that on that note, I’m going to lay my head back down so that the room will stop spinning.
I hope ya’ll have a great week, and I’ll be back later on tonight if I’m feeling it. (I know I should probably rest but writing is therapeutic to me in so many ways). That said, if I don’t, I’ll talk to you when I can.
-Take care of your health….

Male’s Perspective Interview: “Troy”
1.   What would you say to the ladies out there who think that ‘all guys are just the same’?
 
I would tell her that all men are not the same. We all may have many of the same urges and the same issues but we each handle them differently. Some men are devoted and caring, and some aren’t. If all men were the same though, then how would you have couples, like my parents, making it 20+ years in marriage?

2.   Do you wish you would have waited? Why or why not?
I honestly do wish I would have wait because things probably would have turned out differently. I have learned that waiting allows you to get to know a person more fully.

3.    So do you see any benefits in waiting until marriage to have sex?
I think that the benefits of waiting until marriage are that it gives the couple a chance to fall in love with each other rather than falling for a person because of how they make you feel sexually. Sex can take over a person’s decision-making, and I’m just keeping it real with you from my personal experiences.

4.   What advice would you give to single ladies who want to be in a relationship, but haven’t met the right one yet?
Just be patient and don’t force it. I believe that there’s somebody out there for everyone. You just have to wait and allow God to handle it.

5.   What are your thoughts on living with someone before marrying them?
I would NOT recommend it. Speaking from experience, I knew before I did it that it was something that God didn’t approve of, but I did it any way and life got very difficult for me.

6.   What’s the nicest thing that a girl has ever done for you?
Making my mother smile is the nicest thing that a girl will ever do for me.

7.     Aww! That’s really sweet. So what’s your take on a girl trying to change the guy that she is with in order to fit her ideal man?
I really do not like it when a person attempts to change another person. If you like that person, like him for who he is, flaws and all.
 
8.    What qualities do you look for in a girlfriend?
I really don’t have set qualities that I look for in a girlfriend as long as she shares in my same faith. But I do look more for what’s in her heart and mind than in her looks and talents, which is something that I used to do in my past.

9.    Are first impressions really everything? What’s included in your first impressions?
Honestly, first impressions play a big part. You will always remember the first time you meet a person. But like I said in the last question, I try not to place too much emphasis on it because in time you will see the real person… the comfortable person.

10.   How can a girl know if a guy is in to her (for those of us who are oblivious sometimes J)?
In my opinion, one of the main ways to know if a guy is into you is how much time does he devote to you. I know a guy can be friends with a female and hang out with her every once in a while, but if he is really trying to spend time with you then there’s probably something there.

Or if he comes out of his comfort zone to do something for you, like go to church with you, then he’s probably into you... Lol nobody is really comfortable going to a new church with somebody but if he wants to impress you or just spend time with you, he’ll make it happen.


4/25/13

Moment of Truth: Dare To Take Chances


“The first guy through the wall always gets bloody”

-Don’t Give Up…Especially When It Gets Hard

-Brad Pitt in ‘Moneyball’- Sorry for the sports quote
but it really spoke to me today

4/22/13

Monologue Monday: What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

Lately I’ve been in a funk and have had no idea what to write about, even though I have really wanted to write and express myself.

So I took a little break, and in that time of relaxing and enjoying life, I questioned my motives and intentions with blogging….trying to remind myself why I started doing this in the first place.
While I admire those who can do 5-7 posts a week, work, AND maintain a life, I realized that isn’t for me. (Even though this week I'll probably end up doing close to that many because I miss ya’ll so much and have so many things that I want to talk about! But the point is, for normal daily living that doesn’t fit my lifestyle).
What works for me, and keeps me passionate about writing, is allowing things to be organic and natural, not calculated and planned. I like writing here a couple times of week, journaling daily, and then going out and making things happen…achieving the goals that I dream about, instead of just talking about them.
I realize that you are probably like ‘where is this all coming from’, or ‘who told you that you HAD to write daily’, but I’m saying all of this for a reason. (I’m just taking a bit longer than I probably should in getting to the point…my apologies).
At any rate, in my realizing that there are no rules to expressing myself or to using the creative outlet of writing to do so, I decided that what was missing from my posts, and was consequently making me feel blah about it all, was me. (Sorry if this is feeling like a therapy session…I really am getting to the point!).
So I decided that what if on the days when no one has shared a story, or a story is still being written/edited, that I just sort of bare it all (for a lack of a better phrase), and put myself out there.
That’s where this new series that I’m about to introduce will be of feature. I’m calling it:
“Letters to My Younger Self: Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating, and Confidence”.
(And before I go any further, I just want to give credit where credit is due. This idea stemmed from one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah K, and a different idea came from a reader of this site, Marietta. They both did something similar and I just sort of fused the two together. Sarah writes letters to her younger, single self from time to time, and Marietta wrote a blog post here about ‘What She Wish Her Mother Would Have Told Her’. I think the combination of these two ideas is the perfect prescription for what I’m needing at the moment, so thanks ladies J).
Not only do I think this will be fun, therapeutic, insightful, and will remind me of how far I’ve come, but most importantly, hopefully it will help someone else along the way.
I still plan on doing feature stories of other women on some Monologue Mondays and the Male Perspective interviews from guys, (and will continue to do so indefinitely), and both of which you’ll be getting another post on soon, but in between those times I plan to just have some fun and do one of the things that I do best….writing while expressing myself J

-Hope you’ll stick along for the ride
 


Letters To My Younger Self:
Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence
 

P.S. Next Monday I’ll start this series and at least carry it out to the end of the year (maybe longer…I can think of a TON of things I would tell my younger self, so we’ll just play it by ear and see how it goes). In the meantime, what about you?!?!?!

What’s something that you would tell your younger self about waiting, dating, confidence, self-esteem, relationships, etc???
 

Moment of Truth


As long as you think you can’t, you won’t.

-Believe in yourself-


I'm Back!!!

I’m so excited!

I took the last two weeks to just travel and have fun, and now I’m back and ready to get back at it! (“It” being work, projects that I’m working on, blogging, etc.).
I hope you all have had a great couple of past weeks and I can’t wait to catch up with some of you via emails and letters over the next few days. (I intentionally choose to put away all the electronics (sans my camera…had to capture the memories), so that I could just enjoy the moment, but I promise to get back to answering emails asap!)
Hope your week is getting off to a great start, and please don’t get annoyed with me over the ton couple of posts that I plan to do over the next week or so. (I haven’t blogged in a while, so I have A LOT to say J)!
Have a good day,

4/12/13

Read Any Good Books Lately???

Here’s a bit of inside info on me…I’m kind of a book worm.

Actually, I think I may have mentioned this before, but I LOVE reading books. I’m not even afraid to admit that their usually either girly, Christian, or reflective…But mainly girly. (Unless we count the Bible and that’s my number one…but I’m getting off track here). (Oh, and I don’t fancy all that much books that are the current “it” trend either).

Anyway, Krystal over at The First Lady Diaries and I have been collaborating on a few posts, (you can see the interview I did with her here, and after vacation I’ll be back with some of her eco-friendly beauty tips), and today she wanted to share some of her favorite book recommendations.

I can’t say that I have read any of them, but from her detailed synopsis and reviews, there are a couple that grab my interest.

So check them out and let me know what you think. Also, if you have any good books that you would recommend, please leave a comment below and I’ll try to check them out.

Krystal’s Book Recommendations (with comments from her):

Anyone who knows me knows just how much of a bookworm I am; I can read two novels a week. I love to read so much because I love to learn. I believe that it is my responsibility to educate myself on whatever I deem essential to my growth----both naturally and spiritually.

My favorite genre to read is what I call Christian Education. C.E. is written with the purpose of educating, instructing, revealing, and pruning us for our personal Christian walk. With that being said, I've listed 5 books that I have read over the years which have challenged my way of thinking in regards to my spiritual walk. These are just a few of the books that have changed my life due to the insight, education, revelation, and guidance that they have given me. Check them out:

  1. Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand
    This was the most eye opening book that I've read in regards to Christianity and persecution. We hear about our brothers and sisters in Christ being persecuted daily in the name of Christ, but I've never heard such vivid accounts before. TFC is the true life account of Richard Wurbrand, his wife Sabina Wurmbrand, and countless other beautiful Christians who suffer/ed daily just to be counted among God's faithful. This book was tough to read at times. There was more than one occassion wherein I had to put the book down and take a breather because it was emotionally overwhelming. Some of the torture methods in this book are beyond human imagination---purely satanic. But as fiercely as the enemy reared his ugly head in the lives of these believers, God displayed His authority, power, and grace all the more.
    Why read it?

    * It will bring an awareness to the injustices being carried out against our fellow Christians around the world.
    *It will make you cry, but when you get finished crying, it will drive you to earnestly pray for someone outside of you and your loved ones.
    * It will cause you to look at your trials and issues through a different lens. The troubles that you're facing now won't seem so overwhelming, unfair, or difficult anymore in the grand scheme of things. You'll actually feel a sense of joy in knowing that you're counted worthy of suffering for Christ.
    * It will remind you that no matter what kind of evil you may face in this world, we are already victorious. (It was so exhilarating to read about the hardcore atheists turning their lives over to Christ from watching the examples of the very people who they imprisoned).

  2. For Such a Time as This by Ray C. Stedman
    I've loved Hadassah (Queen Esther) since I was a child. I was intrigued by stories of her beauty and regalia. But as I got older, I started to do my own research on the undercover Jewish queen. The more that I read about her, the more I discovered that she was a woman of virtue. I read every book about her that I can find, and usually, it's the same story over and over again: beautiful Jewish virgin turn the heart of a Pagan king and saves her people from desolation. I thought that I knew all that there was to know about the book of Esther...and then I came across this book. This book was the most thorough and insightful exegete of the book of Esther that I've EVER read. If you think you've heard it all, you haven't until you've read this. I'm such a Ray C. Stedman fan because he brings a totally different outlook on scriptures that we've read time and time again. He is such a man of substance, and this book will cause you to see the book of Esther like it's brand new.
    Why read it?

    * A lot of people misunderstand the book of Esther, some have even questioned the relevance as it pertains to the bible as a whole. This book will show a parallel between Jesus Christ/the Cruxifixition and the life and times of Esther, Mordecai, Haman, and King Xerxes. It will make you say, "What the heck?!!" It's an "ah ha" moment of a book.
    * It shows that every book of the bible is relevant to the modern day believer, and that everything about the bible comes full circle and points back to the cross.

  3. Choosing Beauty by Gina Loehr
    This little book packs a major punch. It's a 30 day devotional that I do recommend reading each lesson day by day (as the book suggests). It can be tempting to read ahead since the sections are so short, but I believe that you'll benefit more from reading it one day at a time and really soaking in the information that you learned. This book is important for women of God because it reminds us to be cautious of putting our physicality over our spirituality. The author wrote this book because she recalls a time when she didn't want to go to a church event because she couldn't find her makeup bag. Now, I'm not an everyday makeup wearer, but I do remember a time when I didn't want to go to Midnight Prayer because my hair wasn't styled in it's usual curls. It was midnight prayer, for goodness sakes!! There would most likely only be a handful of people there, the lights in the sanctuary would be dimmed, and everyone would be around the altar on their knees in prayer, yet I didn't want to be seen even for a minute without my hair being perfectly styled. I did eventually decided to go (rocking my ponytail), and God whipped my tail when I got there. The problem is,whenever we're overly concerned with our physicality, that's usually a tell tale sign that something isn't right with our hearts. This book will bring attention to our warped sense of beauty.
    Why read it?

    * It will make you pause and truly examine yourself to see if you're placing the upkeep of your physical beauty over the maintenance of your spiritual beauty.
    * It teaches that although man may have a warped sense of beauty, true beauty is defined by the beauty of holiness.
    * It will teach you and explain why beauty is not limited to a select few, beauty is a choice that we must each make daily.

  4. Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian
    Mary Kassian is probably my favorite Christian writer. She is SO underrated in my opinion. She is such a woman of insight and revelation. This book was a compare and contrast of the two Proverbs women: the promiscuous woman, and the infamous Proverbs 31 woman. She explains how both of these women are very present and relevant to the 21st century. If you read this book honestly, you might see a bit of yourself in both of these women.The adultery and promiscuity of which Mrs. Kassian speaks of isn't exclusive to sex. The unfaithfulness that she writes about is just as much about the idols that we place in God's stead. It's just a good read. I learned something new in each chapter (which is rare).
    Why read it?

    * It will make you see the vast differences between the women of the world, that woman who you think you are, the woman who you really are, and the woman who God created you to be.
    * It will make you look at yourself differently to the point of repentance and transformation.
    * It will make you look at sex and relationships differently from the views that the world have imposed on us.

  5. Prayer: A Holy Occupation by Oswald.Chambers
    This was one awesome book!! Oswald Chambers can do no wrong in my eyes. He's so refreshing and wise. While many other Christian authors are writing the same thing over and over again--just in different ways, he keeps it fresh. I listed this book because prayer is the heartbeat of our relationship with God. It's our communication line, it's our strength, it's how we hear from God, it's how we get instructions---it's EVERYTHING to a Christian!! We all know that without a heartbeat, you will indeed die. I love reading books on prayer because I love prayer! This book teaches why we pray...or why we should pray. I will admit that Oswald Chambers is an itellectual, so it can be a task to keep up with his verbiage, but you can't argue with the content.
    Why read it?
    * It will convict you about your lack of a prayer life.
    * It teaches us that prayer is a privellege and not a burden (as we sometimes treat it).
    * It will tell you why praying is a Christian's main job.
    * It will make a prayer addict out of you.

Note worthy books: I'm not big on buying a book just because it's a bestseller, because a lot of times, that's just about a popularity contest. But I have read a few bestsellers that I have benefitted greatly from. They are The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and Crazy Love by Francis Chan.


**Disclaimer: One thing that I always say when I recommend a book is that these books are inspired by the Word of God--they are NOT the Word of God. It is my prayer that you read these books, and any else, with wisdom and a sense of discernment---proving what is fact and what is the flawed opinion of man.

4/10/13

My Interview with Krystal @ The 1st Lady Diaries (Part 2)

Before I leave for my vacation, I wanted to post Part 2 to my interview with The First Ladies Diaries. (If you missed Part 1, you can check it out here).

So here it is:

My Interview with Krystal @ The 1st Lady Diaries (Part 2)

Krystal: We're in a very small percentile. Roughly 4% of adults are virgins at the age of 25, and naturally that percentage drops as the ages increase. With that being said, do you ever feel as though your dating options are limited?

VM: Kind of. It’s so weird, but it’s like all throughout high school and college guys were so interested in trying to get to know me and so forth, and were really intrigued if they found out that I was still a virgin, but sometime after 24, it didn’t seem all that intriguing anymore. Now, people are like ‘what’s wrong with you that you haven’t slept with anyone yet?!?!’ I usually laugh this off because it’s all crazy to me, but the fact that I am still a virgin at 27, (I turn 28 in two months), makes people have all sorts of preconceived notions about me which definitely tries to limit things. But once people hang out with me and get to know me for me, they realize that I’m not the weirdo that they thought I was, and that nothing is in fact wrong with me…I’m just saving myself until marriage.


Krystal: Well, Happy (Early) Birthday!! And yes, I know all about those preconceived notions--which is why I always say, "Stereotypes are for zombies."


Krystal: I RARELY date. Reason being, I truly believe that I was meant to be exclusive; so I'm very selective. When I do decide to go out with someone, it's because of something that he said--he has to stimulate my intellect. What is it that makes you decide to give a guy a chance?


VM: His personality. If he is attentive and compassionate towards others, is a good listener but can also carry a conversation, respects his family and friends, and loves to enjoy life, his character is going to pique my interest. I also have to be attracted to him. This doesn’t mean that all my friends and family have to find him attractive; what one person likes, someone else may have completely different taste in, but I personally just want to find him attractive- despite what anyone else says.


Krystal: Amen! Personality counts for a lot.


Krystal: It goes without saying that a woman of God should date a man of God. So aside from that, what are 3 qualities/traits/non-negotiables that are a MUST for you?

VM:
*Must be compassionate, generous and has a kind heart
*Must be able to carry a conversation about a wide variety of subjects, and is a great listener.
*Must be like to laugh and be willing to try new things.


Krystal: I agree. Especially about being well rounded in various things.

Krystal: Sadly, not everyone is supportive of those who practice celibacy. I don't know about you, but I find myself having the most interesting conversations where virginity is concerned. What's the most annoying question or comment that you get in regards to celibacy?

VM: ‘You’re how old?’ lol


Krystal: Oh yes, the age old question of age lol. And don't even get me started on the "spared" talk. This is a choice, not a matter of default.

Krystal: I made it pretty clear on how I feel about dating and labels. It annoys me. How do you feel about labels and dating? You know, the whole my man/my woman thing?

VM: My annoyance isn’t in labels as much as it is in one half of a couple labeling it, but the other half refusing to so much as state that he/she is in a relationship.


Krystal: Wowzers!! I feel that. For me, it's not a matter of not wanting to acknowledge the relationship, I'm just funny about guys labeling me when they really have no claim; I refuse to be just another chick on some guy's roster. But trust me, when I am seeing someone, I most definitely make it known.

Krystal: To be fair, I'll answer first, NO! lol Are you dating anyone?


VM: No, I’m currently single. I’m in a really good place personally though, so I say that with a smile on my face and an overwhelming sense of peace. I am so thankful for this phase in my life that I have been single, because I have traveled the world and have gotten to do a lot of things that I probably would have been hesitant to do had I been in a relationship. It has been a great experience after I stopped thinking about the what-ifs and started focusing on living J. Now
I’m making each moment count to the fullest, while I wait on the one who deems me worth waiting for.

Krystal: Yes. That's someone who knows how to use her single gift.

Krystal: Since we're doing a fashion post in the coming months, I thought that it would be very befitting to ask this question. Why or does it even matter how a Christian woman dresses?


VM: The way we dress matters because whether we mean for it to or not, it sends a message to others. I personally used to love certain trends, but I realized that many of the younger girls that I was (and still am) mentoring were trying to emulate me, and I didn’t want to send them the wrong message. So even though I have the freedom to dress however I choose, I still try to be mindful of what I wear because I don’t want to set a bad example for them just because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I still try to display my personality through my clothing, but I’m just cautious of the message that I am sending.

Krystal: That's true. You never know who's watching you, and we don't get to choose who looks up to us.

When I tell you that I had fun with this interview, I mean I had fun. I hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I had asking these questions and reflecting over the answers. My friend and I will be working together for the next few months over at her blog and my natural beauty blog. So be on the look out.


P.S. Let me know when there's a status update for #11 lol!

4/8/13

And I'm Off….

Throughout the year I try to take little breaks/getaways to regroup, relax and just enjoy life. So for the next two weeks I’m going to be taking a little break from blogging and a lot of other things, and I’m just going to take some time to enjoy where I am right now!

In the meantime, I’ll try to come back and post Part 2 of the interview that I did with The 1stLady Diaries, (and I’ll also try to post a list of her favorite book recommendations at the moment)…if for some reason I don’t get a chance to though, I promise I’ll do it as soon as I return on twenty second of April. (I’m sure that by then I’ll have a bunch of other things to fill you in on as well!)
I hope all is well with you and that you are having a great week so far.
-Stay safe

4/2/13

Monologue Monday: My Interview with ‘The 1st Lady Diaries’


Recently, I teamed up with Krystal over at The First Lady Diaries to do a few guest posts on one another’s site over the next couple of months. We are going to be talking about a range of things from great book recommendations (from some of her favorite books) to fashion tips (and whatever other girly things we can think of along the way).
Well, about a week ago she asked if she could interview me, and I thought that it would be really cool to see what type of questions she would come up with. And since we are both virgins, (sorry if that’s too much info btw but that’s a HUGE topic of discussion in these necks of the woods), I thought that it would be interesting to hear how her thoughts may have differed from mine, (if at all), on some of the questions that she raised.
So below I have pasted the interview that she conducted on her site, and you can find the original interview by clicking here.
Check it out and feel free to let me know what you think! (Actually, I think that I’ll post it in two parts to make for an easier read).
P.S. Have a good rest of the week J
P.S.S. Please feel free to leave comments below or to send me an email with topic ideas. It’s always easier when we make it more of a community feel as opposed to me talking about things that ya’ll could care less about! I hope that’s not the case!!! (At any rate, some current topics that I’ve been toying with are ‘Abstinence’, ‘Interracial Relationships (requested)’, and ‘But He’s the Best I Can Get’ to name a few. What do you think???

Monologue Monday: My Interview with Krystal @ The 1st Lady Diaries
Krystal: Last year, I had the pleasure of writing a guest post for a fellow blogger and sister in Christ. This young woman is the author/creator of a blog called The Virgin Monologuez. (You can check out my interview here.) Her blog is dedicated to getting the word out that contrary to popular belief, everyone is NOT doing it. And you know what the "it" is--SEX! Now don't let the title fool you, although the blog is called "The Virgin Monologuez", she also features individuals who are married and those who have not always walked in chastity. She brings all of our stories together to one place where we can all share wisdom, experiences, perspectives, and opinions. I love the fact that she gives everyone a voice--allowing everyone to share their respective stories. It's brilliant!!

Well, we've exchanged emails a few times since then and we've formed somewhat of a virtual friendship. (I actually hope to meet her in real life one day, but until then, I'm going to turn the tables and interview her in regards to none other than celibacy and dating as a Christian.) Shall we begin?


VM: First off, I want you to say thanks for asking me to do this interview! I love “girl time” and just hanging around positive, like-minded people, so I was excited when you asked if you could interview me for your blog. Thank you.
Krystal: Whenever people find out that I'm a virgin, they always ask, "Is it because of your religion?" I answer yes because I know what they really mean, "Does fornication go against your belief system?" Even so, that only partially covers why I'm personally waiting. So I ask you, why are you waiting?
VM: The reason why I am waiting is two-fold. The biggest and most important reason why I am waiting is because of my faith. I genuinely love God with all of my heart, and I am so grateful for all that He has done for me and for Him always just being there for me, so one of the ways that I strive to show my gratitude is by practicing self-control and honoring my body as His Word instructs. For me this means waiting and trusting His timing, and knowing that at the right time, He will bring into my life the person that He has chosen, but until then I must patiently wait and work on becoming a better woman for me.

And the second part of that is that I think I am worth waiting for. I hope this doesn’t sound arrogant in the sense that ‘she thinks she’s all that’, because that mentality could not be further from my personality, but I truly believe that the man that I fall in love with will love me for the woman I am, and will be willing to wait for me because he realizes that I’m worth waiting for and that He will be gaining more than he could have ever lost in his waiting.
Krystal: From motivational speakers, to preachers, to parents, and all in between, everyone is saying, "You are worth the wait!" What does it mean to be worth the wait?
VM: My interpretation of being worth the wait is that the two of you are giving your relationship time to be cultivated and refined, while you get to know each other, before adding in the emotional and physiological elements of physical intimacy. It means that you realize that there is something so special about that other person that you don’t want to jeopardize the relationship by focusing on the physical. Simply put, I think that “worth the wait” means someone seeing something so extraordinary about that other person that they value them worth waiting for while they nurture the relationship that they are trying to build with that person.
Krystal: Everyone seems to have something to say in regards to another's standards. They're either too low, ridiculously high, or non existent. How do you define the word 'standard'?
VM: Average. Anything that is common, meaning massive amounts of people are doing it, sets the “standard” for what is normal.
Krystal: Okay. So you're standard is your personally defined status quo. Perfect!
Doing well gets old (for me, at least). Do you ever tire of waiting, and if so, how do you stay on track?
VM: Ohh….good question! My honest answer would have to be a resounding no! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have had moments where I have questioned ‘when’s it going to be my turn?’, but the truth is I would rather wait however long it takes then to get into a relationship that is wrong for me, simply because I got impatient, and be living a nightmare. (Snapped and Lifetime have scared me enough to know that moving too soon or getting into a relationship just because I had a bout of loneliness, could LITERALLY lead to deadly consequences. No thank you!)
Knowing what I want out life and doing my daily devotionals keep me on track. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is going to take care of me, and so even when I get frustrated because I can’t trace His hand and don’t understand what is going on in my life, I still believe and love Him enough to trust His heart. (He’s already shown me He would do anything for me, He even sent His son to die for me! Why would He stop taking care of me now?!?!)
Krystal: Right!! No temporary bout of loneliness is worth a lifetime of unnecessary heartache. Wait it out, this too shall pass lol. So what's the most difficult part of waiting?
VM: Not knowing how long. It’s one thing to have an expiration date for something, but what about when you don’t know how long it’s going to last or when it’s going to happen for you. That said, it is in these moments that I remind myself that what God has for me is for me, and that His timing is perfect. I have since stopped thinking about the time and have instead started focusing on making me a better person; focusing on my professional aspirations and doing stuff for other people. It’s hard to think about yourself when you are thinking about others. And since it’s not of focus, I don’t think about it as much any more. I have a life to live; I can’t use it counting up days….I just want to live it!!!

*****Check Back Later For Part II (or just go to her site to check it out!!!) *****


4/1/13

Make Every Moment Count


Ever have one of those days weeks where everything was just so fast paced and it all seemed as though it required your immediate attention, that you couldn’t tell is you were going or coming?
This past week was like that for me.
By the end of the week I was so exhausted and overextended that I all wanted was a little r & r and some me time…but instead I found myself at a wedding.
This is not to complain though. I love putting passion, drive, and determination behind the things that I do…It just demonstrates that I need to do a better job at prioritizing what is really important and what I can set aside to do at a later date.
I have to constantly remind myself to take a step back and enjoy the moment. Otherwise, I will have gone through life having gone through the motions without actually living in the moment and that’s not acceptable to me…at all.

 
So here’s to taking the time to enjoy the simple things (like laughing, enjoying good company, and even talking with you all J)…. Everything else will happen as and when it should; right now, I just want to enjoy what’s actually happening.
What about you? What do you do to not loose focus in ‘ALL the things that you HAVE to do today’?