6/25/12

Monologue Monday: Miss Independent


How’s your day going?!?!
Mine is going pretty good. I started receiving some early birthday wishes (so sweet), got a chance to talk to and laugh with my mom on the phone for a while, and overall I’m just really excited and at peace.
Sorry…. today isn’t about me though so let me stop rambling and introduce you to my amazing friend Miss IndependentJ! (For personal reasons she wanted her name to be omitted, so I replaced it with a title that I think is the perfect description of her).
The reason why I call her Miss Independent is because she knows how to handle her business. She’s not independent in the ‘I don’t need a man I can take care of myself and open my own doors kind of way’, but she’s independent in the since that she knows who she is, knows what she is capable of, and is not afraid to reach for the stars because she knows that’s only her starting point. She really is a remarkable person.
To top all of that off, she is the most selfless, kindhearted young woman that I have ever met and I am lucky enough to call her my friend.
She is fabulous and has a heart of gold….filled with compassion, loyalty and trustworthiness; possessing the kind of loyalty that is rare. She is there when you deserve it and when you don’t… in short, she’s the kind of person that you want rooting for you and that you are honored to claim that you know.
Sorry to be so chatter-y though, I just wanted to paint you a picture of her character before I posted her story.
Well actually, it’s not really a story but a set of answers. When I approached her about sharing her own experiences for Monologue Monday, she replied that she would love to but she just didn’t know how to put her story into words. She wanted to share her own experiences, especially if they would help another young woman out, but she didn’t know what to say or how to say it. So after a while she called me up and asked me if I could just send her a set of questions to answer and she would share her experiences that way.
Now if you know me then you know that I don’t like to feed people answers or make them share anything that they don’t want to share. I want it to be from their mouth, in their own words. That is why when I contact other women (or they contact me) I always ask them to tell their story in their own words. (I only ask guys questions because they seem to need guidance on this stuff if we are to ever get them to open up about such a sensitive topic, but even then I try to quote them as close to what they respond as possible). So needless to say I struggled with this request just a bit.
Nevertheless, Miss Independent is a personal friend who I was extremely excited about participating in this project, so I let go of my own reservations and complied with her wishes. I asked her the questions below and told her to say only what made her feel comfortable, but to be as real and candid as possible with you all.

So here it is: Miss Independent’s Monologue in her own words.

Monologue Monday: Miss Independent
  1. What's your stance on sex before marriage? Let me start off by saying that I am not a virgin, although I am currently practicing abstinence. I believe that sex before marriage is wrong according to the Bible. But aside from that, from personal experience I believe that women could save themselves a ton of heartache by waiting. Breakups hurt a lot worse when you have physically tied yourself to that person who really wasn’t who you thought they were.
  2. Do you have any regrets about your (past) relationships? My main regret about my past relationships are that I put a lot of time and energy into making sure that the “other party” was happy, and at times it was at the expense of my own happiness. So I have learned to put me first, and let the chips fall where they may. I wasn’t always true to myself in my younger years and at times I look back and wonder what the heck I was thinking, but thank God for growth.
  3. What's one thing that you know now about guys and relationships now that you wish you would have known then (in the past)? Guys will show you who they really are if you are paying attention. It is just up to us to believe (the first time) who they show themselves to be. It sounds easy enough, but when emotions get wrangled in the mix we have a tendency not to think as clearly.
  4. Do you have a personal experience that you would like to share (in terms of guys/dating/relationships/intimacy)? Though I am not a virgin, I am not the most sexual experienced person in the world either. I have only been with 2 guys, and I have had some guys walk away because I wouldn’t have sex with them, but as I got older it didn’t matter as much because I was smarter and I saw they weren’t worth my time anyways.
I was 18 years old and had been in a relationship for a while, before deciding to “give it up”. It was my first time, and I really loved this guy. Although we stayed together some time after that, the relationship was crazy. It wasn’t abusive or anything, but it definitely wasn’t healthy. When we eventually broke up, I believe it was a lot more difficult for me because I had given him my virginity, and I had nothing to show for it except hurt feelings and a hardened heart.
  1. What advice can you give to other young girls that are trying to decide whether to wait or not? Most guys (if they are even remotely worth your time) will respect you more, if you value yourself enough to make them wait. If you give them everything that they want right away, then there is no reason for them to stick around. Young ladies should be different from the norm. If everyone else is doing it, be the one who doesn’t.
And I assure you everyone is not “doing it”. They may not be advertising it, but I know that there are some girls who have decided to wait, so don’t feel alone or lame because you decide to wait. I also want to add that it’s entirely possible to have a great time with a guy without having sex. And when you wait, you know that the guy is genuinely interested in you and not just in having sex with you. This is a decision that each young girl/ woman will have to make for themselves, but I would caution you to think long and hard about it before going down that road. Men do not think as we do, so you have to be positive that you make the right choice for YOU.
  1. Looking around our society, there is so much emphasis on sex and being sexy. Do you have any suggestions for how not to be pulled into the notion that 'to be happy with a guy you have to be wearing the tightest, most revealing clothes and sleeping with him? I have a lot of guy friends, and I have asked them about this exact topic. Although I think girls who dress like that get the most attention from guys, no man wants to be in a relationship with “that girl”. They may want to have sex with her, but they won’t marry her. I strongly believe that there is a happy medium between dressing like a street walker and dressing like an elderly woman lol. I am sure that you can attract a man, without revealing everything when you go out. A girl must have respect for herself, before expecting a man to respect her.

-Miss Independent


6/24/12

Guess What?!?!

Ok, so I know that the last couple of posts have been a bit heavy, but your girl has been going through some things! I am doing much better as the days progress though, so thanks to everyone who has shown me love. I sincerely appreciate all of the warmth and kind words that you have sent me over the last couple of days. Thank you from my heart- with friends like you, everything is doable!

In other news, something really exciting is about to happen four days from now!!!!

Im turning 27 J yay!!!!

6/22/12

True Life: Teach Me God How to Number My Days


I’m having a bit of an off day today…
I told you all that a close relative of mine passed away last Sunday, and even though I was a bit stoic around everybody while I was home (because I didn’t want them worrying about me), the news and the reality that he is gone has really done something to me.
“He” is my cousin by the way… my mother helped raised him like my brother and he has been around me and my other two brothers my entire life- just like another part of the family.
I wasn’t going to post anything about it more than I already have because it’s such a personal subject, but the fact that he is no longer here is so surreal to me that it really is affecting me.
To see my brothers and my mother break down the way that they did (when usually they are the most composed individuals that I know) was shocking to me and really hard to handle.
I think the hardest thing to handle though (outside of the reality that he’s not going to be around anymore), is the truth that we are all going to die someday.
I’m not na├»ve… I know that everyone dies...but when it happens unexpectedly and at such a young age, it sends a shock to your system that you aren’t quite prepared for. In fact when I found out that he was gone, it felt like my heart was breaking and all I could do was gasp for air. I felt out of control, confused, and numb.
I don’t want to stay in that place though…
I just want to remind everyone to make the most out of everyday. There is so much that I want to accomplish and so many dreams that I have that I want to see come to fruition, and to be reminded that life is so short and that no one knows when their final day will be really pushes me even harder.
I used to think that I was invincible and that I had all the time in the world to do anything, but I have been reminded that death comes in all ages and stages.
I don’t mean for this to be such a heavy post and I realize that it has nothing to do with this blog per say, but I just wanted to remind everyone to take nothing for granted and to make the most out of every moment.
If there is something that you have been wanting to try, go for it; If there has been a dream or idea that you have been cultivating but scared to make that first step, take a step of faith.
At the end of the day, the most important things that we can possess is our faith, love (family and friends), and hope.
Tomorrow is not promised to you, but the moment that you are in now- live it to its fullest capacity. Don’t live a life full of regrets, or by saying ‘one day I’m going to do this or try that’. There is no time like the present.

-Live life to the fullest and make the most out of every opportunity

6/19/12

Monologue Monday: Dress to Impress


So today’s Monologue Monday post concludes the end of the three week series that we were doing. You can find the other two: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Lady and What I Wished My Mother Would Have Told Me: DatingChronicles here.

To wrap everything up we have some fashion tips from Ms. Kionica Tolbert. She has a crazy nice jewelry line that will leave you wanting more. I recently saw some of her pieces and I was in awe at her creativity and exceptional eye for detail. Seriously if you aren’t wearing a piece from her jewelry line then your wardrobe is missing that extra something and I’m not just saying that; I genuinely believe in her product and her style!

She’s still in the process of developing her website, but as soon as she gets it up and running I will make sure to come back and up date you with her information. In the meantime, check out this post she wrote to help you stay fabulous while you are learning to love yourself and waiting for that special someone.

-Stay amazing and enjoy life J
Dress to Impress

As many of us know, it’s a joy to shop and look our best. While we are waiting and dating however, we should always keep in mind our bodies and try not to give off the wrong impression. It’s highly important to dress to impress God. Yes, God!

Ultimately we want to please God with our daily walk. Our relationship with God comes before any other relationship that we could ever have, therefore it is the most important. Our relationship with God will last longer and take us further than any other relationship we will ever commit to.

As we wait and date (or just wait), we should consider how God sees us: a gorgeous woman, made in his image. G- Grateful O- Original R- Radical for Christ G-Gifted E- Elevated O- Obedient U- Unique S- Spiritual.

With that in mind, the way we present ourselves is a reflection of what we think about ourselves… it’s a reflection of our relationship with our creator.

Dressing to Impress starts from the inside out.

1) Take care of your INSIDE BEAUTY!
We must watch what we are putting into our bodies. What we place into our bodies will eventually show up through our skin, hair nails, eyes etc. We should make sure that we are taking our daily vitamins, getting exercise, and eating well enough to stay strong and keep our organs functioning. A well kept inside will reflect a well kept outside, which produces a great smile, good looking skin, shinning hair, etc.

2) We must PAMPER OURSELVES!
Regular mani/pedi’s are good for the soul J. Rest and relaxation is a must- massages and hair appointments are all a part of pampering yourself. Facials are the ultimate way to feel like a queen. Keeping your skin looking as good as possible with great skin care products, will keep you glowing. Skin care on the outside goes hand in hand with maintaining your inside routine: taking our vitamins, exercise and eating well.

3) We must keep in mind What to WEAR!!!
Yes, finally we get to what to wear. Every part of our body was created by the creator himself. He made us gorgeous, he made us strong, and he made us perfectly perfect in his eyes. It’s never ok to expose the parts of your body, God intended only for your husband. As stated above God made us delicate and he wants to show us as a present to the man who deserves us. We are a gift waiting to be opened and cherished. J

Let’s be purposely fashionable, that way it won’t be a hassle to put something together when God presents you as a gift to your husband.

Some key clothing suggestions to have in your closet for dates or just to wear when hanging out with friends and family:

#1) Tan Pumps (goes great with any color outfit).




#2) Nice Blazers to add a touch of class to your look.




#3) A great pair of jeans.




#4) A fabulous pair of flats for those casual days or a cute wedge heel (if you like a little height but cant wear heels).





#5) Casual maxi dress… Can dress it up or down.


#6) Nice sheath dress in any color (it’s a great classy look for any woman).


#7) And a lady can never have too many accessories to choose from!


 
-Live Life Gorgeous!!! Happy Dressing…

6/18/12

I Have Been M.I.A. Because...

Last Monday I received a phone call that a relative who was extremely close to me had passed away. I immediately dropped everything, packed my bags, and flew home. All I have done is been there for and hung out with my family. I did have a post scheduled for today though, so I’ll try to post it sometime tomorrow or Wednesday after I finally catch up with everything.

Just wanted to post a quick message to let everyone know what was up. Hope all is well with you all.

6/11/12

Monologue Monday- What I Wished My Mother Would Have Told Me: Dating Chronicles

Recently I was introduced to this young woman named Marietta, who had been reading this blog and enjoyed the content. She emailed me and really wanted to be involved, but she didn’t know what was  the best way of going about it…that is until she heard about this mini-series (for the next three Mondays) that I’m currently doing.

So I asked her if she would like to participate and she was more than thrilled to do so. She has been so much fun to work with, and she put A LOT of hard work into doing this piece. Seriously, as I was reading through some of the things that she wrote, I felt that it was applicable to most any young person.
The purpose of this post is just to highlight some of the things that ‘you wish your mom would have told you’. Check it out, and see if you can relate (and feel free to add comments at the bottom if you have something you would like to add)!
P.S. A BIG thank you to Marietta- you are beyond awesome, and I’m so glad that you were willing to share your experiences with the world J!

"What I Wished My Mother Would Have Told Me: Dating Chronicles"
After going through many situations that I thought I would never go through, I began to reflect.  I began to see where things started. They didn’t begin when I became a mistress; no they started long before then.    How did I go from a PK (pastor’s kid) and daddy’s little girl, to sneaking around to go on dates, to losing my virginity as a freshman in college, to becoming a mistress- nothing more than a side-chick!
Growing up as a PK I was never given any rules or guidelines regarding dating, sex, or anything regarding the opposite sex. I knew from my dad’s teachings that sex outside of marriage was a sin. But I didn’t know the immediate or long lasting effects of fornication or soul ties!  
I was never told I could or couldn’t date. Nothing was said about talking to boys on the phone. I feel like I was left to explore and learn these things on my own. I don’t know if it had anything to do with me being the youngest of five children, of which four are girls. Maybe my parents figured the info would be passed down from my sisters to me. I mean that is how I found out about my period and wearing pads.
The only type of sex education I remember receiving, outside of school, was from books and pamphlets my great aunt gave me and my sisters.  I would secretly (because I didn’t think my parents would approve) read these books because I desired to know not only about sex, but about how my body worked. I wanted information and this was the only way I was getting it.
I don’t blame my parents AT ALL for any situation that I’ve been in. BUT I do wish I had been better informed; better prepared. I WISH my mom would have talked to me about her past experiences with dating, losing her virginity, and just about being a young lady desiring to be married!

I wished my mother would have told me:

·         Keep God First- (ok, my  mom did tell me this, I just didn’t listen!) God was there before that man and will be there after that man. I got my first and ONLY tattoo (Abba <3) recently on the inside of my ring finger to let my future husband know that God comes first, has been there from the start, and will always be around! J

·         It’s Ok To Say NO!!! – You don’t have to accept every single request for a date. Yes, it may be a free meal (sometimes) and a movie (maybe) but your time is more precious than a date with someone you KNOW isn’t worth it.

·         Be Yourself; Never Forget Who You Are- God created you the way He wanted. We are all beautifully and wonderfully made by Him! Never let anyone make you feel less than because of who you are. With that being said, never be afraid to learn, grow, and enhance who you are!

·         Never Forget Whose You Are- If you have accepted the Lord God as your Saviour, never forget that you are His child. You are ROYALTY! Wait for the man who can appreciate that. J

·         Don’t Make Him Fit Into Your Box- You can’t change a man! Never enter a relationship thinking, “oh I can fix that about him.” NO, you can’t change anyone but yourself. Even if he does change for you, he will eventually begin to resent you for making him change!

·         Don’t Settle- If he doesn’t possess what you NEED, keep it moving. For example, I need a man who is purposely living for Christ. A man who can and will pray for me without hesitation. A man who can tell me NO! (only sometimes though, lol).

·         Make The Best Of Every Date- Every man isn’t for you and you are not for every man! (I used to think I was the perfect woman for any man…shaking my head). If you go on a first date and realize this person isn’t for you, don’t ruin the night. Enjoy it for what it was: a lesson learned, a new friend, or networking opportunity. Don’t let things progress hoping things will just work out though because he’s a good man.

·         Leave The Pedestal For God- I realized recently that I always gave the impression of being a perfect young lady which caused men to put me on a pedestal. And when I fell (made the slightest mistake), OUCH! They would then look at me differently. L No one is perfect, leave room for errors and growth.

·         Remember Your Friends- They’re there for more than the “pick me up after the relationship is over” phase. Remember to still make time for them when in a relationship.

·         Separation Of Relationship and Friendship- your friends, family, twitter and fb should not be apart of your relationship. Be careful with whom you seek advice. Talk to God and let him lead you to those to seek counseling from.

·         Never Lose Your Self-Respect- if you know doing something will cause you to be disappointed in yourself, don’t do it! Slow down and take time to think before acting.

·        Unless You’re A Meteorologist, Learn To Talk About Something Else Besides The Weather- An elderly man once told me he didn’t want to talk to me because young people only have “small talk.” I laughed but it’s so true. Gossiping is not a real conversation. Read books, articles, and watch more than reality tv.

·        Close Your Eyes and Look With Your Heart- We all want someone we find attractive, but don’t let looks interfere with love. Take the time to get to know someone; they could be your future. J

·         Actively Listen- When he’s talking stop thinking about your  “awesome” response, or that story that relates to what he’s saying and just LISTEN.

·        Smile-It’s Your Best Accessory- Contrary to popular belief, (reality tv), less is more with guys. A man will appreciate and remember your beautiful smile over your drawn on eyebrows any day!

·        Be Confident- Be the First person to tell yourself that you are beautiful and intelligent every morning and believe it. If there is something you need to work on to be more confident, do it; go back to school, get your hair done (or do it yourself), encourage yourself to be the best you!

·         NEVER Dumb Yourself Down- Never make yourself feel inadequate to make a man feel adequate. Don’t play the “dumb blonde” just to make him feel more of a man. If he can’t appreciate your intelligence then he can’t appreciate being with you!

·         I N D E P E N D E N T- S T O P!- Not only have I learned that this is unattractive to most men, but more importantly it isn’t biblical! We are made to be totally dependent on God. I walked around thinking I had it made, didn’t need anyone, (especially a man) for anything, unless I wanted him. It took a random (a man who I knew wasn’t my husband but I needed around to fill a void) to tell me to stop being so independent, and God to literally stripped EVERYTHING from me for me to realize that I am NOTHING without Christ! Let God be God and a man to be a man. Let him open your door, walk you to your door, order your dinner, walk on the outside, call you first, plan a date; let him lead!

·        Check Your List/Priorities- If you’re like me, you have at some point in your life written down everything you want in a man. I threw my list away years ago because of how superficial it was. If you’re not everything on your list, either improve yourself first or scratch it off your list. If looks are your top priority, don’t expect the relationship to last.

·        Don’t Believe The Hype- Not everyone is kissing, dry humping, or having sex! –Don’t let society guide your relationships. Let God lead you both, and decide what’s best for your relationship.
In Titus 2, it talks about how leaders in the body of Christ are to teach the younger ones. It is not enough to tell them to go read the Word. We must lead by examples and we must teach the younger generations. Hopefully this list at least gives you something to ponder on.
Feel free to add any advice you wished your mom would have given you or did give you at the bottom!

-Marietta


6/9/12

You Are Worth More Than Priceless Jewels


Isn’t there something intriguing about denying yourself something that you really want? About working really hard to achieve something, and not to be just handed it without any effort or thought?
Why is it that we would be so willing to give away our most precious gift- ourselves- so freely, without realizing our worth and the value of our gift?
In this case I’m not just speaking physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.
I’m talking about who you are: your mind, your emotions, your heart, and your body… It’s all worth more than the rarest of jewels.
Why would we hand that off to someone who is only used to dealing with cubic zirconia? Once you hand yourself off to so many people, no longer are you rare and desirable; you are now common and replaceable.
This is a judgment free zone though. I know the trials and indulgences that we face. If allowed, I know that people can come from every angle to sway you to alter yourself to fit their ideas, or to request that you give a piece of yourself just because they want it….nope, my role is not to judge or to make you feel bad….we have all been there in one way or another.
I just hope to inspire you to rekindle that fire within you…that woman who knows her self-worth and value. Someone who isn’t afraid to be different and to go against the grain. A person who knows that her worth is not measured by what she wears or how much she possesses, but by WHO she is.
And speaking of possessions, one of my favorite things to do is to shop. I love picking out clothes to express my persona and individuality. While I enjoy shopping most anywhere (from the thrift store to Harrods) and not care what others think, I do enjoy quality.
Although I don’t shop for designer goods all the time though, I do shop there every once in a while. The clothes are too expensive for me to go there everyday, but it’s nice to treat myself from time to time. Which means that I am a saver.
If I want something, I save for a while until I have the money to buy it. Working hard for the things that I want make them so much more special when I attain them, and I treat them with much more gentleness because I know how hard I worked to get them.
Now, I don’t mean to lessen a relationship or a person’s worth by comparing her to a material possession, but I do wonder why can we value the importance of working hard for the possessions we want, but not for the relationships that we desire? Why should anybody just be able to walk up to you, give you a few simple phrases of flattery, and then take you home and sleep with you?
You are worth more than any designer goods that I or anyone else will ever possess. Nothing compares to you… nothing.
Don’t allow someone to play with your emotions, enter into your heart, and enjoy your body without putting in the work for it. He won’t realize the significance of your gift because he received it so easily.
When we stop treating our minds, hearts, and bodies like credit cards that others can enjoy the benefits of the possessions now and pay later, we won’t have to worry about if we will receive the payment in full or whether they will renege and leave us with a massive debt…or in this case a broken heart.

You are worth the wait….anybody who tells you otherwise is just looking for instant gratification. Know your worth…you are rarer than the most precious of jewels.

-Love yourself

6/8/12

Moment of Truth:


Being single is not a curse! When we learn how to be happy with ourselves, then we can be happy with a significant other….Be comfortable with yourself FIRST before you try bringing someone else into the picture. Relationship gratification can only get you so far before you are looking for something else to fill that void you are looking to fill…get healthy first J!

                                                -Ms. B (paraphrased by me)

Hold Your Head Up High


"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

6/4/12

Monologue Monday: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Lady

Hi all J,
How’s your Monday going so far?
Well today is another Monologue Monday post but we changed it up just a bit. For the next 2-3 weeks we are going to be doing a special on dating tips and advice surrounding other women’s experiences. (Don’t worry though, the posts of women telling their personal stories in their own words will be back after this!).
The reason why we are changing it just slightly (it’s still going to be real women sharing their own experiences, just by way of tips and advice as opposed to their own stories), is because so many women ask:
“Well if I want to try to do this right then how SHOULD I behave in a relationship? I’m so tired of doing things the wrong way, but I have no idea WHERE to even start with a new way of doing it. HELP!!!
Well I’m no relationship expert, but I have rounded up some really amazing women who would like to share what has worked for them. So pray and ask God for guidance, read over this list (and the next two to come), and really think about what you want out of a relationship and what will be best for you. It’s all going to work out though J!
1st up in this segment is Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Lady, written by the lovely Chante Truscott. She previously shared her personal story here, and you can find her website here.
Check out her advice below and let me know what you think? Have you already tried any of these tips and they worked for you???
P.S. The next two Mondays will be posts about ‘What I Wish My Mother Would Have Told Me: The Dating Chronicles’ and ‘Dressing to Impress: Keeping it Classy and Fun’.- After that, we will be back at it with real women sharing their personal stories, so stick around J!
Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Lady
Dating is no easy feat in today’s society! As women after the heart of God, we must learn to be submissive to the voice of God at all times; which ultimately prepares us to submit to our earthly husbands.
The world is saturated with opinions and advice about how to carry ourselves when we are on the dating scene. The truth of the matter is that dating is just preparation for the bigger stage of marriage. Dating is no different from any other undertaking: you must prepare or you will not be successful.
The Word of God teaches us in Proverbs 29:18 “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he”. You must have a vision of who you want to be as a wife, so that you can establish the rules that you want to abide by while dating.
The few that I am noting below should shed some light on the direction you might want to consider heading in:
1.      Respect Yourself: You must set the tone for the way you want to be treated! You are fearfully and wonderfully made and your respect for yourself will demonstrate that to your date.

2.      Dress Like a Lady: Your beauty has to flow from the inside out; accentuate your assets, don’t expose them!!!

3.      Speak Like a Lady: Being relatable to someone of the opposite sex does not mean acting like “just one of the guys”; speak like a woman, that’s what he is interested in.

4.      Invest in the Conversation: Communication is almost entirely composed of active listening. It’s important to understand his interests and what you have in common.

5.      Stand by Your Convictions: Don’t be alarmed if you and your date disagree on minor issues, but it’s imperative that you agree on the major issues. (I.E. he is a man that holds the same spiritual beliefs that you do, etc.)

6.      Self-Assessment: Are you what he is looking for? Lots of times we get ahead of ourselves when our dates meet our criteria, but we overlook the fact that we may not be what he desires in his life.

7.      Broaden Your Horizons: Be sure that you’re open to trying new things that you’ve never done before; you never know how things may enrich your life. Your date may want to go camping and you don’t like the outdoors, don’t turn down date #2 for superficial reasons.

8.      Be a Lady: Don’t physically attach yourself to someone that God hasn’t declared as yours. You want to have a clear head when waiting and dating. Creating a physical bond with someone who is not yours complicates that process.
God has a mate for each of us and we want to ensure that we keep that in mind. Dating is the way to learn more about ourselves while drawing us closer to that mate. The dating process has its proper place in our lives and we must be sure to establish ground rules for ourselves if we want to be paired with our true soulmate.
Don’t get discouraged though! Dating should be a fun and enriching process as it leads you to the person who will enhance the rest of your life. After all, “til death do us part” is a long time.
By setting the standard for yourself while single, you will be able to follow that same standard once you are married.