I've Moved....

Hi everyone,
         I just wanted to let you all know that I’m moving sites, and you can now find me on my company website  at Dorothy Alexa (where I also blog from time to time)!
Thank you so much for being a part of my journey thus far, and I look forward to seeing you at my new home: www.dorothyalexa.com. Oh, and  please don’t forget to like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dorothyalexa, where you can keep up with the latest updates and  info!!!
Thanks again :)


What I Was Doing In Asia…

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I had been living in Southeast Asia for the past two years, and had recently returned back home in July when I wrote and stated that I would be taking a break from blogging. Well, now I’m back from my mini-break and I just wanted to fill you all in on what I was doing while I was there.

The short answer is that I was volunteering.

I had two assignments: my primary assignment was to teach English at a local college, and my second assignment (which I chose personally and that was extremely close to my heart), was mentoring young girls at an orphanage, teaching them English, art, and some life skills.

All in all I am beyond glad that I had the chance to live in a developing country and to step out of my comfort zone because this experience (more so than any other country that I have ever been to or lived in) really pushed me in ways that I didn’t think possible.

Now that I’m back at home, I feel refreshed and ready to apply myself in new ways.

While I was away, in my spare time I was working on some really cool projects which brings me to this new phase that I’m currently in in my life: continuing to mentor young people, but also starting my own online boutique and writing my first book.

There is so much stuff that I could say about my trip, I have a gazillion pictures that I took and could share, and so many interesting stories that I could recount, but I don’t want to bore you more than I probably already have by talking about myself too much, so I’ll just wrap this post up by saying that I’m looking forward to this next phase of my life and I hope that you all will join me!

My next post is going to be a moving announcement, and from here on out I will no longer be blogging here as Virgin Monologuez, but you will now be able to find me at my new company website: www.dorothyalexa.com

Thank you to each and every one of you for all of the messages, emails, and love that you have showed me since I started this blog.

-Hope to see you at my new home J


Let Me Introduce Myself To You- Meet Me :)

Hi all,
I’m back!
As I mentioned in my last post, I recently returned back from Southeast Asia back in July and decided to take the last few months getting back into the swing of things, and visiting family and friends who I haven’t seen in the last TWO YEARS!!!
*** Side note- I’m currently writing a post discussing how it was for me living in Southeast Asia and what I was doing there and will be posting it soon, but for now I just wanted to let you all know that I’m back and I missed sharing things with you all****.
Also, over the within the next week or so, I am going to completely stop blogging here, but you can now find me at my new company’s website (it includes a blog section, shop, and all)! (www.dorothyalexa.com)
I’ve never formally introduced myself to you all (partly because of my occupation then and partly because it wasn’t the right time but more on that in the next post as well), but now is the perfect opportunity for me to do that!
Please either go to my company website: www.dorothyalexa.com or our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/dorothyalexa and like our page! While there you will find out more about me and what I’m currently up to.
In the meantime, while I won’t be writing over on this site much longer (and I hope you would like and follow me to my new home J), but either way, I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you who have supported and subscribed to me. While I was overseas and away from home, having this outlet to express myself and my thoughts carried me many days, so thank you for being there.
Can’t wait to meet you all


I’m Taking a Break….Back In America :)

I recently just got back home (to America), and I am beyond excited!!!!
For the past couple of years I have been working in southeast Asia, and although I am grateful for the opportunity and have memories that will last a lifetime, I am so happy to be back home and to see all of my family and friends again!
And now that I’m back at home, I think that I am going to take a three-four month sabbatical type break (from now until either late November or early December) from blogging.
I have a ton of people to meet and catch up with, some side projects that I want to take some time to focus on, family that I can’t wait to visit, and foods that I can’t wait to snack on (because they weren’t available where I was)!
I don’t want to completely end this site because I value its purpose, and because I think each one of you is amazing and I enjoy our interactions with each other. But for now I’m just pausing and trying to completely enjoy myself and devote my time to my family and friends (and business ventures), that I have been away from for the past couple of years.
I’ll be back later in the next few months, and hopefully during that time you won’t forget about me/ unsubscribe from the site, but if so, I completely understand. (I just want to fill you in instead of just disappearing with no explanation).
I can’t wait to tell you all about my work in Asia, my new ventures, get back to writing quality content, and just communicating back and forth with you all, but at the moment my top priorities are going to be my family and friends…whom I have missed like crazy! (Please feel free to email me during this time if you need/want to catch up…I’ll still be checking my emails).
Thanks for sticking around, and hopefully you’ll continue to support me once I return. (And I will definitely be returning!!!!).
Until then, take care  J


Monologue Monday: What are your thoughts?

Hi peeps!

I was just looking over some of my previous posts and realized that my last one was around my birthday and that was almost two weeks ago now…sorry about that! (I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot, but I would rather keep saying it and keep you posted on what’s happening around here- even if that means I risk sounding redundant- just so you can have an idea of what’s going on).

The good news is that things are almost back to normal, and hopefully that means that my posts will be more consistent and worth your time (not saying that they haven’t been lately but I do realize that time is valuable, and if you are taking even a few minutes out of your day to spend it reading something that I wrote- which I’m always extremely grateful for btw- then I want to make it worth your while!).

That being said, I’m more than anticipating when everything is back to normal and I have more time and opportunities to get back to doing male perspective interviews, fashion posts, asking other women to share their stories, and so forth.

Ok, but I’m getting a bit off track so let me get back to the topic at hand for today’s post. Instead of writing a monologue, I thought I would ask you a question and get your responses.

So lately, I’ve been hearing a number of people discussing their opinions about how remaining a virgin until marriage or even practicing abstinence is all but extinct. Since waiting is something that I wholeheartedly believe in- both for spiritual and personal reasons- their arguments piqued my interests and I thought I would come this way and ask your opinion.

So what are your thoughts on the matter?

Do you think saving one’s self for marriage or practicing abstinence is an outdated practice?

Please leave your comment below, or feel free to email me if you feel uncomfortable leaving your response that way, and I’ll be back sometime next week to give my perspective and to share some of your responses.

Moment of Truth:

Don’t give up…People are waiting on you to rise up and be who you were called to be.

There is greatness on the inside of you. Don’t run from it…embrace it J!


Monologue Monday: 28 Random Facts about Me

So in honor of my 28th birthday coming up soon, I thought I would share with you all 28 random facts about me:

1.       My favorite color is red.

2.       I ate a fried cricket once in Cambodia to try to “integrate”. While it tasted kind of like bacon, I don’t think I’ll EVER do that again!

3.       I love when it rains…like pouring rain. I’ll put on my pjs if I’m home, throw in a movie, and snuggle under a ton of blankets…good times J

4.       I love blasting the air conditioner while being under a ton of blankets…it doesn’t really make sense, but it’s just something about it that makes me feel all warm and cozy on the inside.

5.       I’m a homebody who prefers hanging out with friends and family…to parties.

6.       I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m such a fan that it deserves to be mentioned again: I LOVE football.

7.       I’m a Christian.  (My favorite book of the Bible is Esther; I love reading it over and over).

8.       Sometimes I fear that I’ll be the 40 year old virgin…in real life:/ That and snakes are not cool. (I’m kidding…kind of).

9.       I love getting dressed up- sometimes with no where to go…it just makes me feel better.

10.   My favorite genre of movies is action, followed by romantic comedies.

11.   I have a bucket list of things that I want to do before I die, with really random things on it like swim with sharks, visit at least 100 countries (I’m at 16 at the moment), and take a picture with an exotic animal up close and personal. (P.S. when I say swim with sharks, I want to clarify that I should be in a cage and under supervision, and because I have chosen to do it at that time…. Not because of a plane crash or something horrible and I was forced too! I would be terrified!...Just want to clear that up)!

12.   Most of the time you will find me really energetic and bubbly. I love to laugh and have a good time.

13.   I’ve never consumed alcohol. I’ve been up close to alcoholism and I don’t even want to chance it…I’d rather just not drink. That said, I still know how to have a good time.

14.   I failed my driving test 3 times!!! (It was only the written part, so that’s not as bad right?!?!)

15.   I love to cook, and my favorite things to make are desserts. (I make a ridiculously good cheesecake!)

16.   My godmother and I were born on the same day.

17.   I look up to and aspire to be more like the women in my life, particularly my grandma, aunts, godmother, and mom.

18.   It doesn’t take much to make me cry during a movie.

19.   Two of my favorite stores are walmart and target….seriously, you can find anything there!

20.   I’m a DIY (do it yourself) kind of girl, and I love creating things and decorating.

21.   I love taking naps in the middle of the day if I’m off and don’t have anything else to do. (Have to get that beauty sleep!)

22.   I had a pet hamster growing up. The thought of him now, that I have slept with a mouse and been surrounded by rats while volunteering in Cambodia, doesn’t make me smile as much. (P.S. I’m also afraid of rats and mice…like seriously afraid).

23.   I almost always root for the underdog. (Unless I have a dedication to the other team that surpasses my sentimental/emotional side).

24.   I love to eat!!! (I just make sure to balance it out by working out. (My favorite work outs are pilates, zumba, and yoga…without the chanting, just the exercising).

25.   I’m a serious saver, who occasionally gives herself an allowance to spend big without thinking about how much I’m spending. But once the allowance is up, I stop.

26.   I sometimes times say literally when I am speaking figuratively.

27.   I value privacy…A LOT… Which is why I would probably shy away from ever making a YouTube video or anything like that, but I admire those who do. That said, here are my top four YouTube gurus, hands down: wendyslookbook, particiabright (formely know as brittpopprincess), nicoleguerriero, and beautybyjj
28.   My top 5 favorite places in the world are: London, Venice, Seoul, America (all of it!), and any where that my family is living in at the moment.
What’s a random fact about you?!?!

A Quick Thank You Note

I just wanted to say a quick thank you to those of you who have sent me messages checking on me and asking to see if I was ok. I think it’s only been like a week or two since my last post so I didn’t really think that I would be missed, so thank you so much for noticing my absence and taking the time to check in on me- I really appreciate it (and feel so loved J)!
I probably should have mentioned this a while ago, but I’m currently overseas working/volunteering and things are getting a bit busy in terms of work as I prepare to wrap up my assignment here over the next month or so.  I’ll be home shortly after I’m done here, and then hopefully things will go back to normal in terms of me having the time and attention to devote to writing more often.
(I’ll give y’all the details on where I have been living overseas and what I have been doing once my assignment is over and I’m back home. It’s one of the things I was talking about in one of my last posts here, that I said I would fill you in on soon).
Hope everything is going well for you all!

P.S. I’ll be back in a bit to post a Monologue Monday on 28 random facts that you don’t know about me in celebration of my 28th birthday coming up soon! So make sure to check back later today J.


Monologue Monday: Letters to My Younger Self #4

How was your Monday?

Mine was pretty good, but at the moment I’m HUNGRY!!!

I’ll take care of that in a second, but first, I just wanted to sit down and write this quick post.

I actually received a request to talk about the difference between gold-digging and security….bet you can guess who it came from: yep, a guy sent it in.

Either way, I think it’ll be a fun topic to discuss because I definitely think there’s a difference between the two.

But before I get to that topic, I wanted to write a quick note to my younger self. (Hopefully I’ll get to the post on security vs. gold-digging soon, but I’m trying to stop giving out dates because lately I haven’t been able to stick to them because work has been so busy. So in an effort to try to be a woman of my word, I’ll just say, “as soon as I get some free time, I’ll stop back by to give my opinion on the matter and I would love for you to do the same”).

In the meantime, here’s what I would tell my younger self today….

(And if you have no idea what this is all about, click here).

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence


Dear Younger Self:

Let me just get straight to the point on this one:

It’s better to be honest and clear about your limits UP FRONT, than to be unclear about the matter when you know that you have boundaries that you don’t desire to go past.

You know that you don’t want to have sex before marriage, so don’t be vague about it.

Don’t worry whether you are going scare the guy off, whether everybody else is going to have something to say about it, or whether it’s kind of uncomfortable to talk about when you don’t know how the other person is going to respond.

All of that is irrelevant. This is your body we’re talking about and your life. What everyone else thinks, particularly in this case, really doesn’t matter much.

Not telling the guy that you are interested in or telling him but being unclear about it all, is not only misleading, but it could potentially cause a lot of unnecessary confusion and tension when you could’ve just be upfront about it from the beginning.

Besides, if you divulging this information is going to cause someone to walk away or be apprehensive, you should know his intentions before things get serious.

If he walks away or tries to convince you to do “everything else but sex” trust me when I say he’s not the one for YOU.

Leading someone on, sugar-coating things, or not being completely clear, is wrong. Being straightforward and direct about your boundaries really is the only way to go. Not only will you be saving yourself a lot of heartache by being truthful, but you can weed out the random guys who care more about their desires being fulfilled than they do about getting to know you as a person.

I’m not saying tell everybody, that’s dangerous… but if you’ve been getting to know someone and he has piqued your interest, if you think there could be a future there, be open with him and talk about it.

Wait for the one who will wait with you and not make you feel bad about it or question your decisions…

And don’t ever forget that you are WORTH waiting for Princess


Moment of Truth:

Ok, so I’m talking directly to myself with this one, but here’s my most recent Moment of Truth:

“You always have a voice, but you shouldn’t always voice that opinion”


Monologue Monday: Taking Care of Business – Eco Beauty Tips From Krystal

If, after reading some of my more recent posts, you think I’ve been acting kind of weird or different lately, you’re probably right.

I’ve been going through a transition period lately.
I’ll fill you in on the details later (more like in mid-to late August when things are near completion), but at the moment just know that there are a number of changes happening in my life and I’m just trying to adjust accordingly, while still making sure to make the time to write like I enjoy doing.
(Sorry if I sound like one of those people who say ‘I have exciting news’ or ‘I have something to tell you’, but then says she can’t tell you what it is right now. I would actually love to fill you in, but I’m one of those people who don’t like to talk about things until they are basically a done deal...so at the moment I’m all silence).
Just wanted to address the fact that I may have seemed a bit weird lately, but nothing’s wrong….it’s actually all good news!
But because I have had different priorities lately, it has forced me to take a step back and have days where I shut everything off (phone, internet, business…everything), and just focus on trying to relax and embrace the moment; enjoying the changes that I am going through and the journey that I have gone through to get me to this point.
This brings me to the post for today. (I know I said in last week’s post that I would be discussing past relationship woes, and how being ambiguous and vague with my boundaries got me into some trouble in the past, but that’s coming- I just felt I should write this first).
So the topic for today: Take care of you. When you are at your best, you can offer your best. If you are tired, worn out, or just feeling completely overwhelmed, you aren’t going to be very useful to any one else.
What’s the point of working hard to create the life that you want for yourself, if you are too burned out and stressed out to enjoy it?
Enjoy life J Take time to take care of you so that you can then take care of business.
And on that note, here are a couple of eco beauty tips from a friend to the site-KrystalI thought it would be a good idea to share today since we are on the subject of taking care of ourselves.
Eco Beauty Tips From Krystal:
Krystal Says: I believe in the holistic approach when it comes to my green lifestyle, meaning that I'm not only earth conscious when it comes to recycling and things of that nature, but I'm also earth conscious when it comes to what I put on my skin, the fragrances that I wear, and the home fragrances that I scent my home with.
When it comes to makeup, I'm not a hardcore makeup addict or anything, and I only go ultra glam when I'm going to an event. But I do believe in the "a little bit goes a long way" philosophy. I like looking polished--well put together and effortless versus made up. So when I'm looking for that extra sparkle, I turn to organic beauty products. With all that being said, here are some beauty and lifestyle tips that I use in my everyday life. Check them out:
1.    Room Temperature/Warm Lemon Water

One of the easiest (and not to mention cheapest) beauty habits that you can implement into your life is drinking a glass of warm/room temperature lemon water. Drinking a glass of lemon water helps to jump start your digestive system. Lemon juice helps to rid your body of unnecessary gunk--which makes digestion more fluid. It also flushes the liver and the kidneys while hydrating your entire body. It is also known to clear skin, and get this--freshen breath. 

P.S. The reason why your lemon water should be room temperature to warm is because it takes less effort for the body to adjust to room temperature than it would a glass of ice water.

2.    Pangea Organics

So far, I haven't used a Pangea product that I haven't loved. They make everything from body scrubs to lip balm. I love the fact that all of Pangea's product packaging is biodegradable. This means that their packaging will breakdown over time and will serve as fertilizer for plants (I already started to plant my old packaging in my yard). I use their Moroccan Argan w/ Willow & Rosemary Facial Cream along with their Australian Wild Plum & Willow Facial Cleaner. I chose these two because they're geared towards people with oily skin--which I had. I can honestly say that since I've been using this pair, the amount of oil that my skin produces has been reduced to a minimum. These two facial products smell AMAZING!! And the best part is, they're natural. No artificial colors, fragrances, or synthetic enhancers. You can buy via PangeaOrganics.com, or Amazon.com which is a better deal because they're products are priced lower and they offer free shipping incentives. 

3.    Shea Butter

If you haven't used this natural gem, you are missing out. I've been using shea butter religiously for a couple of years now, ever since my friend from Ghana bought some to the States for me to try. Shea butter is good for both hair and body use. I use it for my body at times, but my hair is where I really put my shea butter to work. I have a very simple recipe for a hair moisturizer. I call it my Shea Hair SoufflĂ©. The recipe is as follows:
*Shea Butter
*Extra Virgin Olive Oil
*Essential Oil of your choice (totally optional)

Take your ingredients and mix them in a blender or food processor until the mixture is fluffy and silky. That's all there is to it! I like to buy cute little containers or use recycled glass jars to store my soufflĂ©.
      You can buy shea butter at just about any natural, health, or organic store such as Whole Foods. You can also find a plethora of shea butter suppliers online, some will even whip it for you.

4.    Rose Balm

Rose balm is another one of nature's little treasures. Rose oil is just as moisturizing as it is fragrant. I buy little canisters of rose balm and store them in my purse. I use it to moisturize my hands whenever I absentmindedly forget to pack lotion in my purse (tiger paws are so unbecoming on a lady). I also use it to smooth down my unruly eyebrows, to massage my hands, smooth down my baby hairs, and to sooth my tired eyes by putting the balm on the puffy area of my eyes. I use rose balm the most as a lip balm, especially after using my homemade lip scrub. It makes your lips feel like feathers. One of the best parts about rose balm is that it won't cost you any more than $10. You can buy it online, Whole Foods, Bath & Body Works, or just about any other natural beauty retailer.

5.    Yardley's Lavender as Aromatherapy

I LOVE all things lavender! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that purple is my favorite color, or maybe it's just simply that I adore the scent, but I need the scent of lavender in my life. This one may seem a little strange, but it works for me so... Lavender is calming and soothing, and it has a certain lulling effect. The scent of lavender helps me sleep, so whenever I am out of my lavender sachets, I stash a fresh bar of Yardley's Lavender in my pillow case for aromatherapy purposes. There's something nostalgic and calming (for me, at least) about inhaling the light, airy scent of this minty, evergreen shrub. Pure heaven!!
6.    Olive Oil as Eye Makeup Remover

Of the many things that olive oil is used for, makeup remover probably isn't the first one that comes to your mind. As I stated earlier, I don't wear too much makeup, but when I do, I stick with darker colors such as black and navy blue. My signature makeup look requires nothing more than some black or blue eyeliner and mascara. Even though these are the only two staples in my makeup arsenal, I have a heck of a time removing them from my face at night. So one night I decided to try olive oil as a remover, and surprisingly, it worked!! I was able to get rid of every little trace of dark liner and stubborn mascara with just one cotton swab. It's like a little miracle, and not to mention much less expensive than buying organic makeup wipes. Oh, and as an added bonus, the olive oil conditions lashes. Try it!!

7.    Homemade Liquid Potpourri

Sounds difficult to make, but not so much. Next to pictures, I think that home fragrance is the one thing that sets your house apart and speaks for your personality. Home fragrance turns your house into a home. I get many compliments on the fragrances that I use whenever I have visitors (this has much to do with why I want my life to be a beautiful fragrance of worship to God. A beautiful fragrance is welcoming, it makes one want to stay a while and rest, but I digressed). Here's one of my recipes:
*Orange Peels
*Thyme or Lemongrass Essential Oil (Optional)

Place your ingredients into a pot and add water. Place your pot onto the stove and allow it to lightly simmer. Don't let it boil or your potpourri will burn and it won't be pleasant.


Monologue Monday: Letters To My Younger Self #3

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence


This letter is kind of embarrassing. Not in the funny way, but in the ‘I can’t believe I allowed that to happen’ kind of way.

My advice to my younger self this week would be: Don’t try to impress others.

This may seem like pretty standard knowledge, but when I was in high school and even college, I did some pretty dumb things all in the name of love while trying to impress certain people.

It’s not that I thought that being myself wasn’t enough, because even then I maintained a certain sense of awareness about who I was and what I wanted out of life, and I was focused on achieving those things…it’s just I went overboard some times.

So I definitely had my moments when I was like ‘why did I do that?’

I guess it would be even more embarrassing if I were still making the same mistakes now that I was then, but since I’m not, I guess I should be thanking my younger self for the knowledge that it has forced me to learn through certain things that I experienced back then.

Maybe I should give you some examples for those of you reading this wondering ‘like what?’ These are just a few of the ones that immediately come to mind, but trust me when I say this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg…

*Taking my ENTIRE two week paycheck to buy my then boyfriend a ridiculously expensive watch for his birthday….that was stolen on campus 2 weeks later. (Here’s the thing on this one- Buying gifts for a boyfriend or any of my friends is not crazy to me. I know some girls who are like ‘he’s supposed to be spending money on you...not the other way around’. I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS. If I care about someone, family members and friends alike, I like to shower them with gifts from time to time. This doesn’t always mean materialistic though. Sometimes it’s my time, energy, or something else. (Like if they’ve been wanting to do something but I haven’t had the time- I’ll just surprise them one day and cancel everything that’s on my agenda and make the day strictly about them). That said, in this situation it wasn’t me buying him a gift that was dumb- it was the fact that I took all of my money to pay for it….not cool. This was when I was a freshman in college, so since then I have learned how to budget money and how to be responsible. Now I give myself a budget that is inline with my finances, and if something is over that I go back to the drawing board and think of a different idea. My advice to my younger self in this situation is don’t live a lie…or try to be something that you aren’t. Stick within your means and be yourself…that’s better than any amount of money or gift).

*Being ambiguous about my boundaries when I first got into a relationship with my ex. (I was going to go into detail about this one, but I think it deserves its own letter. Maybe I’ll write more about this next week…we’ll see).

*This one isn’t about dating, but it still goes along with the topic: Wearing crazy high heels to a premiere in London while walking across gravel. (Seriously…. I’m the kind of girl who tries to have a pair of flats in her bag at all times to avoid situations like this. It’s one thing to walk the underground in sky high heels, but walking across gravel and pebbles of rocks when there were flashing lights every where. Thank God I didn’t break my leg). Going forward, I wear what I’m comfortable in. I’m just as much into heels as the next girl, but I know my limits now. If I know that those platforms are going to cause me to end up in the emergency room, I’m going to opt out.

Honestly, I guess these weren’t all that embarrassing, especially considering the payoff of me having learned valuable lessons…So maybe in this letter I realized that my past is just as important as my present and future because it taught me lessons.

It’s one thing to make mistakes, but it’s another to keep repeating them.