Monologue Monday: Heather Lindsey

I loving looking at blog rolls, and seeing what sites my favorite bloggers like to read occasionally. I was doing just that several weeks ago when I came across Heather Lindsey’s site, (I found her through Greater Than The Game’s site), and I was instantly hooked after reading only ONE PARAGRAPH!!!!

Seriously, her words are so powerful and so relevant to everyday life that I was immediately captivated and wanted to hear more of whatever she had to say. I ran and grabbed some snacks, a blanket, and read through most of her posts. (Yes, I do have a life lol, but it was a rainy gloomy weeknight and what better way to spend the time indoors than reading something really inspiring and encouraging while enjoying your favorite snacks!!! J)

Even though we have different stories and experiences, I saw myself in some of her words and I could appreciate the authenticity, sincerity, and transparency in her messages; the wisdom and insight that she possesses, and the manner in which she manages to relate her story to her readers was mesmerizing.

 In short, I was drawn to her site because she seemingly represents every woman. Regardless of one’s background or upbringing, there is something on her site that most anyone can relate to. Whether it’s the randoms that we can’t seem to let go of, learning how to eat healthier, trying to figure out if he’s The One, or just wanting to do some soul searching and thus choosing to make a pinky promise, there is something there to pique everyone’s interest.

If you haven’t already clicked on her site by now, what are you waiting for?!?!? You are seriously missing out on an incredibly gifted, beautiful, and engaging woman of great character.

For today’s Monologue Monday post, she shares with us how being intimate with others before marriage impacted her relationships, her self-esteem, and her self-worth.

Here’s her story in her own words:

Monologue Monday: Heather Lindsey

I used to be a train wreck. When I was single, I would jump from relationship to relationship-- searching for a place to put my value. I would get into relationships with Christians and would end up frustrated and repenting with my little boyfriend as I ended up RIGHT back in the bed after church.

WHY couldn't I get free from these unhealthy relationships?

 I couldn't leave these little randoms because every time we messed around or had sex outside of marriage--I would release a hormone called Oxytocin-- or the BONDING hormone. That hormone is released during foreplay, sex, childbirth and breastfeeding-- intended to BOND you and your spouse together, or you and your child.

 You see, it's intended to bond you to your HUSBAND, WIFE OR CHILD. NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND. So I kept struggling to get out of these horrible relationships, but then I kept running back to them and sleeping with them-- hoping and praying that I would get my little needs met.

Only CHRIST can fill our many empty voids.

So as I continued to search-- I felt God tugging at my heart and pulling me towards Him. The conviction grew more and more as He began to lead me out of and continue to close a ton of relationship doors. Even when I tried with willpower to make relationships work, I kept finding myself single again and empty.

I finally got whole and cut off all of my little randoms. I got serious about my relationship with Christ and instead of depending on randoms for date night-- I would have a date night with Jesus. We would do brunch, go shopping, go out to eat or for a walk in the park. I really began to enjoy HIM.

 I started turning down dates left and right because I just knew that it wasn't my time yet, and dating someone would MESS myself up AND him.

Then, after some time-- I met my now husband. He walked by me for three years in church and within 20 minutes of speaking to each other, we just knew that we had met our one-day spouse. There was no question.

We agreed that we wouldn't kiss until our wedding day... and one year later he proposed. After a ton of more WORK and developing emotionally, 8 months later we married and its there when we kissed for the first time. It was SO worth the wait.

As a wife, I really respect my husband and desire him even more. Our marriage isn't based on sex. It's based on our beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ and trusting Him with our life. It's pretty amazing. It puts to SHAME those sorry pretend-wanna-be-play-house relationships.

 It's NEVER worth it to separate yourself from God via sin. Let God make you whole.

Since then, I've started an organization called Pinky Promise-- and it's a promise to honor God with your life and body. I'm even MORE passionate about helping people in this area where I struggled for years.

God took my mess and made it a beautiful masterpiece, and HE will do the same for you.

-Heather Lindsey