Monologue Monday: Me (Part 1)

DECSIONS…DECSIONS…

Imagine this:

You have just arrived at a party (that you weren’t supposed to be at), and you are annoyed that the day has turned out the way that it has, and all you want to do at this point is just go home.

The guy who asked you to come to the party with him is off talking to other girls, and the last thing that you want to do is look desperate, so you set off to mingle. In the midst of meeting new people and striking up new conversations, you notice this guy across the room that peaks your interest in more ways than one: He is laid back, intriguing, overly confident (but you take that as him being poised), and attractive. He is charming, well dressed, and mixed (with curly hair and all kinds of goodness J)…you are instantly intrigued!

The two of you meet, talk for a little bit and exchange numbers; hitting it off in a way that you haven’t ever experienced with anyone else. Even though you are really curious about him, you walk off never expecting to hear from him again…but he calls you about a week later.

You are beside yourself. You were in the shower when the phone rang, and when you hear who it is, you almost break your neck trying to run to the phone (while soaking wet), to catch him before he hangs up.

The two of you begin talking over the phone, sharing intimate details, spending every waking moment talking to each other. It’s a surreal experience, and you can’t believe you have found someone who is so understanding, so (seemingly) compatible, and oh so attractive …

You haven’t once stopped to think about the conditions under which you meet, once considered what he is actually saying that he values (in life and about relationships), or once considered where you want this relationship to go. All you can see is that you have met this really cool, chilled out guy who is interested in you, and is showing you all kinds of attention.

Even though you have only been “dating” for less than a month, for Christmas he spoils you with all kinds of gifts. You feel like you are Cinderella, and you have found your prince….

This, in so many words, is how one of my last relationships began. The guy seemed to just spring up from nowhere, and he appeared to be everything that I had dreamed of and more.

We instantly connected, and begin spending all of our time together. One month turned into three, then three months turned into six, and before you know it we had been dating for a year. That’s when the true colors began to come out.

While I would never purposely say anything negative about this person (especially because we are still friends), I will keep it real with you all (because you are so awesome J) and let you know what really happens when you take your eyes off of your values, because something else catches your attention at a vulnerable time in your life.

I never considered him as distraction then, but when I think about it now, I see just how big of a test that relationship was. My upbringing and very essence was questioned as I began to contemplate his ideas and to reevaluate mine.

I was raised to believe that if a guy really cared about me, then he would practice patience and self-restraint; waiting for me until the day that we walked down the isle as husband and wife. He was taught that if two people really cared about each other than they showed each other that mentally, emotionally, and most importantly physically.

He could never be with a girl who couldn’t share herself with him, and I didn’t want to give up one of my most precious gifts that I had worked so diligently at preserving.

In short it was a mess… but the truth of the matter is that he had wooed me for about a year, he was ‘different’ than every other guy that I had dated, and he seemed like my soul mate.

I KNEW what I should do… but if we were going to be together for ever anyway, did it really matter if I did it now or waited til marriage???

**** Stay tuned until Part 2 for the conclusion of what happens. In the meantime tell me, can you relate to this situation:

You have morals and values that you want to keep thus, you are doing so; taking life one day at a time and enjoying each day as much as possible. Everything is going great in your life and you are content; thinking things can’t get much better than they already are. Then one day you meet someone who challenges everything that you thought you ever believed?

-Virgin Monologuez