Monologue Monday: Dating Tips Part 2

Before I get to Part 2 of the dating tips, (and you can find part one here), I just want to say thanks for all of the comments and emails that I received from Part 1. I’m honestly always pleasantly surprised and excited whenever someone takes the time out of their busy day to let me know that something that I wrote spoke to them or inspired them, so thank you.

Everything that I’ve written below (or previously wrote), I really thought hard about before I just posted it up for the world to see. The point is not to discourage anyone or to make them feel bad about their situation, but rather to encourage them and to let them know that they deserve better (if they aren't already getting it).

When I was writing these tips, I took situations from my and my friends’ previous relationships and thought about what went wrong and why it didn't work. I think I came up with some really good answers, so hopefully you can learn something from our experiences...and spare yourself the heartache J.

So here they are, dating tips that every woman/teen should know. Let me know what you think below, or if you have any dating tips of your own.

Talk to you later,

-Virgin Monologuez

Monologue Monday: Dating Tips Part 2

©      Don’t Date Someone Who Is Arrogant- Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is repulsive. If someone is talking about himself constantly, keeps looking in the mirror throughout your date, and/or every time you actually do get a chance to speak he uses whatever you have just said to instantly relate it back to himself, he is not the one.

©      It’s Ok For People Not To Like You- This can apply towards any type of relationship that you have: friends, associates, strangers…anyone. I like to look at this way: there are billions of people in the world and every last one of them can’t like you, so when you meet those that don’t just shrug it off and realize that it’s not a reflection on you; some personalities just don’t mix. That said, if everyone that you are meeting has a problem with you and you aren’t getting along with ANYONE, you might want to reevaluate your personality.

That’s a bit off topic though because I listed this tip to say this: In terms of dating, try hard/make an effort to get to know his friends and family….and never talk bad about them to him-ever. These are the people that he loves and cares about the most and you should make an attempt to understand and hopefully appreciate them in the same way. If you have tried and it still doesn’t work, just remember that personalities don’t mix sometimes.

©      Never Drop Your Friends For Your New Guy- I know the relationship is new, exciting, and fun, but don’t replace your time with your friends, for spending ALL of it with your new relationship. You still need to maintain your identity and have your own outlets. Plus, if anything ever happens between you and your beau (God forbid that J), you want to make sure that you still are surrounded by great friends who really care and will always be there.

©      Find A Hobby- You should have your own leisurely pursuits and your own identity. A guy should not define you, but rather he should compliment you. Get to know yourself, and spend time doing the things that you enjoy doing. Basically just don’t loose yourself in the process of trying to merge your life with someone else.

©      If A Guy Is Not Acknowledging You, Why Are You Sticking Around- I’m going to tell you a quick story. I once dated a guy who told me that the last girl that he dated before me, he never went out in public with her…ummm what? (I should have taken that as a sign about his character, but that’s a completely different issue). I asked him why and he said because she had a weird nose and he didn’t want people to associate him with her….this is wrong on so many levels. I don’t care if she looked like Pinocchio, it still wasn’t ok for her to be treated like that.

If a guy refuses to go out in public with you, to introduce you to his friends or family, only calls you late at night, and/or never claims you are his girlfriend (when your social media site states that you two are married), then you might want to reevaluate the relationship.

©      Have Patience- You don’t want to rush things and see that you are married to Mr. Jekyll. Take your time to get to know the person, and make sure that you aren’t settling for the first thing that comes along just because he showed you some attention. You are worth waiting for, so take your time getting to know him!

©      Don’t Date Someone Who Can’t Buy You More Than A Hamburger At McDonalds- Money is not the reason for this, but more so it’s about WHY can’t he afford something that’s not on the dollar menu. If the IRS is calling him, if he is asking you to cosign on anything with him and you two aren’t even married, or if you are the one that’s always covering the bill when the check comes, ask yourself what your future is going to look like. Love is a beautiful thing, but so is responsibility and accountability. Heartache is real.

©      Look Beyond The Physical- Let me preface this by saying that I’m all for a gorgeous man, but I also know what really matters in life. If he lost his teeth, his hair came out, and he grew rather large, would you still love him? If the answer is yes, then you are in a good place. Plastic surgery, hair implants, and gastric bypass are all real options but you can never buy someone their character- it’s priceless. Love someone from the inside out. You do need to be attracted to the person, just don’t let that be EVERYTHING!

*P.S. Stay tuned for Wednesday when we will have another really good interview from the male’s perspective. I promise you won’t want to miss it J!