Monologue Monday: Dating Tips Part 1

How is your morning going so far? Anything interesting happened yet???

Well, today is one of my most favorite parts of the week- not only because I get to share my story and the stories of other women all across the world as it pertains to relationships, abstinence, virginity, self-esteem, and so forth, but because for me it always symbolizes a clean slate; last week is gone, so here’s to new beginnings and a new week!

So for the next two Monologue Monday posts, I am going to do things just a little different and instead of telling you a story or monologue about my relationship experiences or those of others, I will be doing a two part special on my dating advice/ suggestions. I feel qualified to share my helpful hints with you for no other reason than my personal experiences.

I have either gone through these situations myself, or have watched as some of my friends have gone through them. Thus, in an effort to save you from bumping your head as hard as we did J, here are some hopefully helpful suggestions that I/we learned along the way.

Enjoy, and post a comment below if you have any tips that I overlooked that you can think of. Have a good day,

-          Virgin Monologuez

Monologue Monday: Dating Tips Part 1

©      Respect Yourself- I know that this might sound a bit like a cliché, but it’s true: if you don’t respect yourself why do you think that others will? Know your worth, and don’t expect anything less. If a guy tries to come at you like he has no respect (or intelligence), then leave him alone! You can’t change people, and there are other guys out there who will treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Just be patient and wait- in the mean time, respect yourself and enjoy life!

©      Dress Classy But Intriguing- No one brings a stripper to meets his parents (sorry strippers, please don’t be offended if you are reading this). No matter how many songs or jokes there are about being in love with a stripper or bringing them home, nobody wants to introduce their parents to someone named Delicious or Candy Apples. *Side note- I don’t know anything thing about stripping- these are just names that popped up in my mind when I thought of strippers; if this is your birth given name, please forgive me.*

But back to the topic… seriously, you should be classy but intriguing. While you don’t want to look like a stripper, prostitute, (or anything where your clothes are too tight and people are throwing money at you), you also don’t want to look like a color blind hermit who hasn’t been out since the 90s. It’s ok to be fashionable and to intrigue, just don’t show too much or wear clothes that are too small and too tight.

©      Listen To Him/ Pay Attention- This seems like it is self-explanatory but just in case it isn’t, if you agreed to go out on a date with someone, then you should make the effort to get to know them. Its fun getting to know other people and if a guy is talking- LISTEN! Most girls complain that their guy doesn’t talk to them enough, so enjoy this time of conversation and getting to know him.

Also, during this time if you hear him say something and it doesn’t agree with your morals and values, keep listening to see what else he has to say. If everything out his mouth couldn’t be more different than what you think and believe, then take this as a red flag and go no further. You can’t change people, and no matter how cute/fine/handsome he is, if you are getting bad vibes now, nothing is going to change in the near future so you’ll be saving yourself from tears and heartache. (Listen to your instincts before your feelings and emotions get you too caught up to do anything).

©      Don’t Act Desperate- I genuinely say this with love: No one wants to date someone who seems desperate or needy. Calling someone five times a day, showing up at their job without telling them or wanting to spend EVERY waking moment with someone is draining, gets old, and is on the verge of stalker-ish/ shrine-ish/overbearing.

©      Decide Before You Go Out What Your Intentions Are For The Night- If you don’t know if you are going to sleep with him or not, and if you are picking out really cute undergarments, and doing things that you would be doing only if someone was to see you naked, then you know what your intentions are…People who say it just happened are not being real with you. You are a wise individual, and you know when something is about to happen or what direction it is going in (and if you don’t, you probably aren’t ready to start dating quite just yet), but overall you know.

If you haven’t set your standards before you leave the house (or better yet before you even start dating), then it’s going to be really hard to do so in the heat of the moment when your feelings and emotions get involved...and hands start touching your body. Decide BEFOREHAND.

©      Don’t Be A People Pleaser- Be sweet, but set your limits. If he doesn’t respect them then he won’t respect you. No matter how good things are at the moment, at some point the rose colored glasses come off and you see the situation for what it is…be true to yourself.

 

 *Stay tuned next week for Part 2, and leave a comment below if you have any tips of your own J*