Monologue Monday: Me

Happy Monday Everyone,

So for today’s monologue you have me- the author/creator of this site. While I want to feature other women for Monologue Mondays most of the time and allow them to share their struggles, successes, and advice as it relates to relationships and their past experiences, there are some times when you will hear from me.
I haven’t been in a lot of relationships and I’m still a virgin, so I think that it’s important to get advice from other women who have been there and experienced what I could never advise you on. That said though, I do have a story- I do have experiences and revelations that I can share with you that might be just as insightful and helpful.
So from time to time, please join me as I share myself and my stories with you from a virgin’s perspective. Here is a piece of me- my monologue for today:

Monologue Monday: Me
It’s a beautiful thing valuing myself and knowing my self worth. While I have had moments of insecurity, overall they are few and far between because I know who I am and what I have to offer. (And on the days that I forget, I have an amazing mom, brothers, godmother, grandmother, family, and friends who remind me. Yeah, you probably noticed that I didn’t say father, but that’s only because my father died when I was eleven, but that’s going to be a story for a different monologue in getting to know me).
All of that said, this rode has not been easy. I wish I could tell you that it’s easy to say no, or that it’s easy not to give in to peer pressure, or that it’s easy being alone sometimes because of some of the choices that I have made, but all of that would be a lie.
Life is about choices, and a lot of times those choices can be really difficult to make. To me it almost seems easier to say yes and just do it, then it does to say no and stand for what you believe in- but who am I to say how difficult a choice was or wasn’t for you? I’m just saying for me it would have been easier to say yes than it has been to say no.
Easier because I probably wouldn’t be judged as being lame because I don’t participate in the party; easier because people probably wouldn’t preconceive me as being judgmental just because I won’t participate in certain activities with them (but neither do I condemn them- people have to make decisions for themselves, and I won’t ever play God); easier because I probably wouldn’t be single or feel insignificant sometimes because I refuse to give up one of my most precious gifts-myself- to a guy.
In fact, I have been in situations where some guys have even said to me, “you are so beautiful and so cool- you would make the perfect wife- but you aren’t good girlfriend material. A guy wants to have fun, have sex, and enjoy life, and after that’s over then they want to settle down. I can’t sleep with you, so I don’t want to date you, but when I’m ready to settle down, you’ll be my first choice”.
That’s a blow to my confidence no matter how much self-esteem I have.
I have traveled the world, met some of the most amazing people, and had some of the sweetest jobs! I have laughed until I cried; praised God that I have the friends and family that I have, and smiled until my cheeks hurt- my life has been good.
My one desire though…my one dream… has been to meet the man that will cherish me and I him, and to love and adore him (and only him), until the day that I die.
It’s been hard ladies. I’m certain that if I didn’t have the values and beliefs that I did, then my life would be different. I’m certain that I wouldn’t be in a hotel room in another country working, while thinking about how I can encourage you. I would probably be in some easy relationship, giving of myself because it was easier, but I can’t do that.
You might not know me that well now, but I have never been one to settle. Sex isn’t everything, but my body is pretty spectacular- sorry if that sounds arrogant- and my mind is priceless. I can’t allow myself to entertain someone and have them obtain my heart and my body when they don’t deserve me.
The man who does deserve me will be the one that sees into my soul, and gets me. He will realize that I’m humble and compassionate, but confident and sassy. He will love that I laugh until my stomach hurts, and that I take life on full force. He will admire that I’ve waited for him, and thank God on the night of our wedding.
So there you have it women. The choice to wait isn’t easy. You will be ridiculed, feel lonely, maybe joked on or laughed at, but it will be worth it. I can’t tell you how I know that for sure now, but I just know.
Think about what you want in life, and make it happen. There will be consequences for any decision, but learning is half the battle.
Cherish yourselves, and regardless of the choice that you make, know that you have someone in your corner rooting for you. You will make it in life, and the right person will come along for you. I can’t tell you how I know for sure, but I just know.
Have a good day, and Happy Valentine’s Day. Regardless if you have someone or alone tomorrow night, hold your head up because you are beautiful.
-Virgin Monologuez


  1. I love the realness and openness of this blog. Eventho I am no longer a virgin I waited until I was an adult to have sex and was often joked on for doing so. I remember when I was engaged both my fiance` and I were virgins and people were like..what if the first time is horrible! I was like he's all I will ever know LOL so I would have no one to compare it to. One thing people don't tell you is that sex costs..and for some it costs them their lives. I was at a seminar that was about empowering young women and one speaker said she works in the health field and sees daily the affects of sex. A teenager recently came in and was diagnosed with HIV..HIV in your teen years!! that blew my mind, yes I know it's possible but wow life is just getting started. It is real out here people..It's not just fun and games. Even if you don't get HIV,STD or a B-a-b-y a condom does not protect your heart.

  2. hey Ms.virgin!!

    wow!! firstly,i love reading ye posts.ye noe girl its 4:08 am here in india and i just can't stop reading ye blog.It's something that i went thru a few years back,when i was growing up i never had anybody to tell me whats wrong and to assure me dt its oki to make mistakes.i really love what ye doing..trust me i'm sure its worth the wait...

  3. Renee, I agree with you completely. We always hear about people encouraging us to have sex or that everyone is doing it, but no one ever really shares the effects. Your words are always powerful to me-

    'Even if you don't get HIV,STD or a B-a-b-y a condom does not protect your heart'...

  4. Tanzif,

    Thanks so much for the compliments. I love that this is encouraging people. I really want people, (especially young women), to know that this site isn’t about judging them or trying to make them feel bad about their choices; I just want to encourage them and remind them of how absolutely amazing they are.

    I only wish that someone was there when I was being teased, laughed at, and left out because of my choice to wait. Even though the teasing probably still would have happened, I would feel so much better knowing that I wasn’t alone.

    I hope that the site will continue to inspire you, and if you would ever like to share your own story one day for Monologue Monday, feel free to contact me (but no pressure at all lol :) just wanted to throw there out there).

    Have a good day!

  5. Kudos to you on being proud of the choice that God commanded all of us to make. You are courageous and brave to stand boldly on his word and wait for the man that He has for you.

  6. Thanks so much for you kind words Mrs. Truscott. It’s by the grace of God, and the gentle guidance of my mother that has kept me on this path. I have had some ups and downs, but in terms of me just putting myself out there for the public to analyze and judge, this quote describes it best:

    You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.
    - Katherine Center

  7. I know this post is old, but I ran across it today. As someone who waited until marriage and was teased for it, I can tell you now happily married that waiting was absolutely one hundred percent worth it. Hang in there because in the end it will be worth it. You can do it!

  8. @MelissaB. Thanks so much for the encouragement!


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