Monologue Monday: Me

Happy Monday Everyone,

So for today’s monologue you have me- the author/creator of this site. While I want to feature other women for Monologue Mondays most of the time and allow them to share their struggles, successes, and advice as it relates to relationships and their past experiences, there are some times when you will hear from me.

I haven’t been in a lot of relationships and I’m still a virgin, so I think that it’s important to get advice from other women who have been there and experienced what I could never advise you on. That said though, I do have a story- I do have experiences and revelations that I can share with you that might be just as insightful and helpful.

So from time to time, please join me as I share myself and my stories with you from a virgin’s perspective. Here is a piece of me- my monologue for today:

Monologue Monday: Me

It’s a beautiful thing valuing myself and knowing my self worth. While I have had moments of insecurity, overall they are few and far between because I know who I am and what I have to offer. (And on the days that I forget, I have an amazing mom, brothers, godmother, grandmother, family, and friends who remind me. Yeah, you probably noticed that I didn’t say father, but that’s only because my father died when I was eleven, but that’s going to be a story for a different monologue in getting to know me).

All of that said, this rode has not been easy. I wish I could tell you that it’s easy to say no, or that it’s easy not to give in to peer pressure, or that it’s easy being alone sometimes because of some of the choices that I have made, but all of that would be a lie.

Life is about choices, and a lot of times those choices can be really difficult to make. To me it almost seems easier to say yes and just do it, then it does to say no and stand for what you believe in- but who am I to say how difficult a choice was or wasn’t for you? I’m just saying for me it would have been easier to say yes than it has been to say no.

Easier because I probably wouldn’t be judged as being lame because I don’t participate in the party; easier because people probably wouldn’t preconceive me as being judgmental just because I won’t participate in certain activities with them (but neither do I condemn them- people have to make decisions for themselves, and I won’t ever play God); easier because I probably wouldn’t be single or feel insignificant sometimes because I refuse to give up one of my most precious gifts-myself- to a guy.

In fact, I have been in situations where some guys have even said to me, “you are so beautiful and so cool- you would make the perfect wife- but you aren’t good girlfriend material. A guy wants to have fun, have sex, and enjoy life, and after that’s over then they want to settle down. I can’t sleep with you, so I don’t want to date you, but when I’m ready to settle down, you’ll be my first choice”.

That’s a blow to my confidence no matter how much self-esteem I have.

I have traveled the world, met some of the most amazing people, and had some of the sweetest jobs! I have laughed until I cried; praised God that I have the friends and family that I have, and smiled until my cheeks hurt- my life has been good.

My one desire though…my one dream… has been to meet the man that will cherish me and I him, and to love and adore him (and only him), until the day that I die.

It’s been hard ladies. I’m certain that if I didn’t have the values and beliefs that I did, then my life would be different. I’m certain that I wouldn’t be in a hotel room in another country working, while thinking about how I can encourage you. I would probably be in some easy relationship, giving of myself because it was easier, but I can’t do that.

You might not know me that well now, but I have never been one to settle. Sex isn’t everything, but my body is pretty spectacular- sorry if that sounds arrogant- and my mind is priceless. I can’t allow myself to entertain someone and have them obtain my heart and my body when they don’t deserve me.

The man who does deserve me will be the one that sees into my soul, and gets me. He will realize that I’m humble and compassionate, but confident and sassy. He will love that I laugh until my stomach hurts, and that I take life on full force. He will admire that I’ve waited for him, and thank God on the night of our wedding.

So there you have it women. The choice to wait isn’t easy. You will be ridiculed, feel lonely, maybe joked on or laughed at, but it will be worth it. I can’t tell you how I know that for sure now, but I just know.

Think about what you want in life, and make it happen. There will be consequences for any decision, but learning is half the battle.

Cherish yourselves, and regardless of the choice that you make, know that you have someone in your corner rooting for you. You will make it in life, and the right person will come along for you. I can’t tell you how I know for sure, but I just know.

Have a good day, and Happy Valentine’s Day. Regardless if you have someone or alone tomorrow night, hold your head up because you are beautiful.

-Virgin Monologuez