The Male's Perspective: My Interview with Leimoh

Hi everyone, how was your week? I hope it was good!

So today you will meet Leimoh. He and I dated towards the end of my freshman year of high school, and we have remained good friends every since.

He is one of the kindest, rawest, most sincere people that I have ever met. Seriously, I don’t think that I will ever meet another human being who is more loyal than him- ever.

I respect him more than words can express. He has been through so much in his life, and he has still come out on top. As you read the interview, I think you’ll find his responses perceptive, engaging, and perhaps even a bit painful to hear at times.

Don’t just take my word for it though; let’s see what he had to say about women and relationships:

1.     The questions that I’m about to ask you are personal. Why did you agree to let me interview you? Because I’ve known you for over 10 years. I know your character. If anybody else would’ve asked me to do it than I probably would’ve said no, but I know what your intentions are. You are just trying to keep it real for young women out there.

2.     What do you think about what this site is conveying to young teens and women? As far as its purpose and what I’ve seen of it so far, it’s a good idea. I think it’s good to let women know that they have choices, because it seems like somewhere along the way some of them forgot that.

3.     What does your ideal girl look like? Wow…umm I’ve never really thought about it before. That’s a good question. If I was to really think about it, I guess it just boils down to my preferences: I love a strong black woman- they are just sexy.

4.     What do you think about abstinence or virgins? Do you think relationships are better when you wait? I don’t know…I haven’t come across too many of them. You don’t find too many girls like that. In fact, you’re the only one that I know personally.

5.     You are in a relationship right now right? Yeah, I am in a relationship. What qualities about your girlfriend attracted you to her? Above anything else, she was one of the first people that I came across in a long period of time who respected herself. She had desires and maybe even wanted to mess with me, but she stuck to her standards. She had restraint, and I was attracted to that.

6.     One of your brothers just got married and another one is getting married very soon, our congratulations to them both. Yeah, thank you. So how do you know when you have found the ONE? What qualities does a guy look for in a wife? The most important thing to me is respect. There are a lot of women that don’t know how to respect a man. With that goes trust and loyalty; they all go hand in hand. How loyal do you think a girl will be if she sleeps with you the first night? If she did it with you then she’ll do it again- meaning another man can come along and top you, and it’s over…no loyalty.

7.     Speaking of sleeping with someone the very first time that you meet him, what’s your take on one night stands? 90% of the time it will never be more than what it is. That’s why it’s called a one night stand.

8.     With so many ladies wearing clothes that are barely there and getting lots of attention from guys, what can a classy girl do to be noticed? For me it’s not so much about what they are wearing as it is how they present themselves. Confidence is sexy, so it doesn’t matter what you got on if you are carrying yourself in the right way. I have seen some girls who were just comfortable in their own skin, and they just shined- they were the most attractive women in the room.

9.     Why do you think some women are afraid to be alone? When they get in a relationship they get so comfortable that when it’s over, they want that comfort that they became accustomed to. Then women on the rebound are so vulnerable, so the cycle continues.

10. Love should be sincere and compassionate, why do some guys play mind games? Control…manipulation.

11. How can a girl tell if a guy is cheating or being dishonest? Do you have enough evidence to confront him? No but seriously, if you suspect he is cheating and if he starts getting REAL DEFENSIVE, and you haven’t even said anything yet- like acting real crazy and defensive- then he’s cheating.

He’s getting all defensive because he feels like you are putting him on blast and calling him out, even though the only thing that you probably asked him was ‘where were you at?’

12. Do you have any regrets? Put it this way: if you are going to sleep with somebody then you should take the time to get to know them because if you don’t, then you could just land yourself in a world full of drama that could last you the next eighteen years.

13. What three tips about relationships can you give to the young women reading this? Let me think about this. Hold on a min…

Tip 1- If you are in a relationship and stuff starts going crazy and you just aren’t happy anymore, ask yourself why you’re still there. If you stay because you are needy, or because you are scared to loose what you have, then you're a fool- plain and simple. Have enough confidence in yourself to keep moving on. – Sorry to be so blunt, but I’m just being real. I see too many girls that are always complaining about their boyfriends, and are unhappy as h%#L- I don’t understand it.

Tip 2- Don’t lower your standards. Don’t think that just because you haven’t found what you are looking for yet, then you should just settle because you WON’T be happy. Get what you want.

Tip 3- If you decide to mess with a dude, know who you are messing with. For real. Just like some women try to trap dudes into a relationship, some guys do the same thing.

14. Anything else that you want to add that I didn’t ask you? Yeah, I know some of my answers were straight forward, but I just wanted to let ya’ll know how things can be sometimes. If I could end by saying anything it would be what I have noticed about some women:

They are impulsive. They don’t stop to think about things. They just go off of their emotions, and you can get yourself in a lot of trouble that way.