Monologue Monday: Me

Monologue Monday

Statistics show that girls who are raised in single parent homes, who have no real father figure in their lives, are more at risk of being in abusive relationships, having low self-esteem, and becoming teen parents.
It is said that these same girls allow themselves to be put down or degraded by guys, because they don’t know how a man should treat a woman- they’ve never experienced it in their own homes, so they don’t know what’s normal or acceptable.
I am the product of a single parent home… but I refuse to become a statistic. My father died of a heart attack when I was ten years old, and even at that age I became determined that I didn’t want to be just another number to the growing data on the damaging effects that being raised without a father can potentially have on a girl….it’s by the grace of God that I’m still a virgin.

I was repeatedly made aware that in many situations girls try to find the love and acceptance that they should be getting from within the home, and locate it from outside sources. I realized that I was more vulnerable and at risk than most girls and that the odds were against me- if the data was right then I was supposed to be either an at risk teen, a pregnant student, in at least one abusive relationship, or at least suffering from low self-esteem and self-worth.
I shouldn’t have become a mentor to young girls, have never slept with anyone, dated really great guys that respected my decision to wait, or know my self-worth. It doesn’t make since…but that’s because it’s by the grace of God that I have become who I am.

I’ve always been a bit stubborn (or maybe different is the word), but I just never wanted to fit in; I never wanted to be a part of the ‘in’ crowd…what’s odd is that just by being myself I ended up that way anyway. I wanted to stand out and be different- I didn’t want to become a statistic.
If you grew up in a single parent home like me and you have read the statistical data about how the odds are against us, don’t believe all the hype. Yeah, we might be more at risk of having a teenage pregnancy or being in a volatile relationship, but that doesn’t have to be our future. Life is about choices and you can choose for that not to become your destiny -the only person that controls your fate is you.

You don’t have to be a statistic. God is my Heavenly father, and I have never felt empty or a void. You can be anything you want, and you don’t have to fit into the statistical mold- you can overcome whatever situation you are in… against all odds.
I did and I realize that it’s by the grace of God that I have become who I am.


  1. Again, thank you for enlightened comments and perspective. Thank goodness for someone who is willing to challenge stereo-types and take responsibility for her life - regardless of the "ideal life" and two parent households.

    I know many 2 parent homes that are fraught with dysfunction and arguing that make it unbearable for kids. Its a case by case scenerio and each of us gets to choose not so much the circumstances into which we are born, but our responses to it.

    Best part is that whatever the case, its all for our growth! Ultimately our parents and family members are our greatest teachers and we are all healing angels for one another.

    Smiles to you Lovely One!

  2. @Millicent St. Claire, thanks so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to comment on my blog. I really appreciate it.

    I agree with you, we have to remember that no matter what kind of circumstances we were raised around, we can always overcome.

    One really can become anything he/she wants to be in life. And life is too short not to :)!


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