Monologue Monday: You Are Changing

Has anyone ever accused you of changing or made it seem as if something was now wrong with you because you started doing things differently and were now trying to better yourself?

With a new year quickly approaching, I thought it very befitting to discuss this subject. At the beginning of every new ear, many people try to come up with resolutions or plans promising new beginnings or a fresh start, all with the hopes of moving forward.

They join gyms, promise to start eating healthier, make vows to stop doing this or that, and are just excited with anticipation for what the future holds.

This argument is not just made towards those who make resolutions for the new year though. Many a people have been accused of changing or “acting as if they have it all together” once they have altered from previous habits or the expectations and opinions of others.

Some of those people have went back to school to get a higher degree, have obtained a job in the profession that they have always wanted to work in, have stopped partying, or have accomplished whatever other thing that they have been wanting to do but have never really followed through with.

If you have heard any of this, or have been struggling with trying to live better but not wanting to leave behind certain people or certain things, don’t get discouraged or loose focus.

You are going to change. A function of life is for us to grow and evolve as individuals.

Life is a journey and if you are staying in the same place then you aren’t journeying…you aren’t moving forward.

If people say you’ve changed or try to make you feel bad about positive lifestyle choices that you are now making for yourself, don’t let it get to you. You are growing and evolving as you should. If you still have the same mentality as you did in high school but now you are 30 then that would be a valid reason for concern, but someone accusing you of trying to do better for yourself and making you feel guilty about it is not ok. Don’t let someone else hinder your success or deter your attempts at greatness.

If you previously didn’t know basic subjects, but now you are going back to school that’s a good thing. If you used to be timid and shy but now you are bold and the CEO of a company, that’s a reason to celebrate not to feel condemned or bad. If you always wanted to try for something and have kept trying and finally you have gotten the position, it’s ok to celebrate your success.

Again, don’t feel bad or disheartened when others say you are changing with a negative connotation behind it while you yourself know that the change has been for the better.

Some people don’t like when you start doing better for yourself. They are comfortable and can accept you as long as you are at their level. The minute that you start stepping out of their comfort zone, it makes them uncomfortable and they no longer know how to handle or relate to you.

Don’t stay in the same place. Strive to do better and to be better. Change is good J

You only live once so make the most out of the present…the gift that you have been given. If there is something that you have been wanting to do, go after it and fight for your dreams. Don’t worry what everyone else has to say about you.  Go hard!

Change…Grow…Evolve ♥

-Virgin Monologuez

Monologue Monday: Happy Holidays

I know that I haven’t posted much in the past week or so, but I just wanted to let you know that everything is ok!

It’s just the holiday time and I figured rather than have you at a computer reading my thoughts or the thoughts of others who have shared on this site that we should just take some time to focus on our family and friends and eating loads of yummy food instead.

So I’ll be back Monday with a new post, just in time for the new year, commenting on others accusing you of changing or saying how you are different now because of so and so….

In the meantime, enjoy this special holiday season and make every moment memorable J

Happy Holidays

-Virgin Monologuez

A Day of Silence for Sandy Hook

Monologue Monday: I Need Your Help!!!

What were thoughts about last week’s Male Week posts? (If you haven’t read them, you can check them out here!)

I really enjoyed doing those pieces; the guys were so hands on and talkative, so thanks to them for helping me to make those posts a success.

This week is going to be fairly quiet around here, but I do want to ask for your help with something:

This blog is mainly about sharing and supporting one another. I strive to remind you that you aren’t alone, and that you are not the only one going through some of the things that you are going through at the moment(with your relationships, self-esteem, confidence and so forth). So since others have been there and experienced that, why not have them share their stories on this site to help someone else potentially not have to experience the pain and heartache that they once endured.

If you are interested in sharing your story for the Monologue Monday posts (or any of the other posts), and if you want it to remain anonymous (or you can share your name… it’s your decision), then feel free to send me an email: virginmonologuez@gmail.com.

This site need you J (….other people need to know that they aren’t alone).

-Virgin Monologuez

Male Week: An Athlete’s Perspective- My Youngest Brother (Part 2)

Today’s interview is the conclusion of my younger brother’s interview for the site and the last interview for 2012.

I don’t want to talk too much, but I was blown away by his answers. I mean I have always known that I have two AMAZING brothers, whom I love both to pieces by the way, but now I get to share that with the world. 

To listen to him respond to all of my questions with as much patience and poise as he did really meant the world to me. He is an incredible person and I am honored to not just call him my brother, but to even know him as a person. (Sorry to be so sentimental but I really am grateful for the family that I have if you can’t tell!)

 

But don’t just take my word for it; here is Part 2 of his interview in his own words. Check it out and let me know what you think. (Oh, and you can read Part 1 here).

Part 2:

1.      So this is the second part of your interview. Why did you feel like it was necessary to do a Part 2? I feel like you never want to leave a stone unturned or to have your readers come back after reading something that you said and still have more questions than answers. I just wanted to answer any lingering questions and to finish what I started.

2.      Well, you have already done Part 1, so let’s just jump right into the tough questions shall we?!? Thanks for putting yourself out there and doing this by the way!... So I have been hearing young women comment that their guy isn’t treating them right. What would you say to the person who asks what can she do to make him treat her better? She can’t do anything but walk away… You can’t change people. A guy is going to treat you how you allow him to treat you. First impressions are everything, so if during those first impressions he felt like he could take it there with her and she gave him the impression that it was acceptable, then she shouldn’t be that surprised when it goes too far because she didn’t confront it when she was first presented with the situation. If someone is treating you bad from the beginning, don’t just accept it and wait for things to get worse. If he hit you once then it’s not that shocking if a combo or an uppercut comes after that.

So do you think that these types of guys prey on weak girls then? Yeah, I think that they prey on girls who have low self-esteem and who don’t know their worth. It’s like if you go to a pawn shop and sell something to them for $50 because you were impatient and wanted it sold now, and you thought that was going to be the best offer that you received. But then if you were to take that same item to an appraiser and they said it was worth $15,000, then you would have waited and not sold it for $50 because it was worth more than that. If you knew the worth and value of what you possessed then you wouldn’t have given it away for less than it was worth…. You have to know your worth. Whatever you think you are worth is what you are going to expect and accept.

3.      Since we are on the subject, why do you think some women suffer from low self-esteem? Do you think that the opposite sex has anything to do with it? Some women suffer from low self-esteem because they feel like they don’t measure up. This could come from allowing people to mistreat or speak negatively to them, to believing what other people say about them, or even comparing themselves to other women. Perception is reality so if they don’t feel like they fit that “perfect girl” image or that they measure up to the female whom they admire in the magazines or videos, then they begin to feel insecure about themselves.

Its self-esteem though, so you can always change that. It’s never too late to change your self-esteem because it’s your opinion of yourself; not others people opinion of you. If you don’t like yourself, how can you expect other people to like you? Learn to love yourself first.

4.       So what’s your favorite part about a woman? Confidence… a woman who knows who she is. She doesn’t feel threatened when her man is out of town and she doesn’t feel like she has to show her body all over social media sites to garner attention. She is secure in herself and doesn’t feel like she needs a man to complete her. I also like independence and want to have some level of attraction to her. She doesn’t have to be what others deem the most attractive or appealing, but as long as she believes that she is beautiful and she carries herself that way, then that’s going to get my attention….But let’s be realistic about it too: If someone tells you that you are the complete package, but you’ve never had a date and no one has ever been interested in you (and you have no friend requests), then reevaluate the situation. There is a difference between confidence and stupidity. Don’t allow someone to hype you up and give you false confidence. Be able to back up whatever you are claiming or believe about yourself. You know what you look like and who you are, so be realistic with your expectations.

5.      Knowing and being a part of the athletic world, why do you think that some women allow themselves to become groupies? What do you think that they are actually chasing after? They are chasing after the American dream. They know that if they can sleep with this dude and have his baby then they are probably going to be set for life…. Or that if they get recognized by being with him and experience some level of fame and recognition from that experience, that they can possibly get TV shows or endorsements as a result of that. For them it’s all about fame and money; the limelight.

Some of these women will go out and buy their best outfits (sometimes that they can’t even afford), and purchase the most expensive accessories (that they purchased on a payment plan), just to get their one chance.

Let’s back up a second…can you explain what a groupie is for anybody reading this who doesn’t know?

A groupie is a person who associates with a certain group of people because of their status and the potential benefits and recognition that it may bring her. She knows her role and she realizes that her name is a group…a collection. She doesn’t care that she doesn’t have a commitment from this guy or that he is dating several different people while simultaneously talking to her because she just wants her needs to be met. She doesn’t get jealous because she has no ownership; you can’t get jealous over a rented entity because it was never yours to begin with. Usually groupies have low self-esteem, so they allow this type of behavior because they either don’t realize their worth or they don’t care.

6.      Do you think that there is a difference between a gold digger and a woman who just wants security? Yes. A woman who wants security wants to know that everything is going to be ok if something were to ever happen. She wants to feel assured and protected. A gold digger wants everything, and basically isn’t going to stop until you are broke. She will never be satisfied because she is always going to want more. She is digging for or desiring the gold in everything. She wants all of her shoes to be Jimmy Choos or red bottoms, she wants several houses in different states (or countries), and she wants the most expensive cars…she always wants. A woman who wants security will be ok with silver or bronze…she desires nice things, but her most important objective is just having her needs met and to know that she is being taken care of. All of that extra stuff is just a bonus not a necessity.

7.       Do you think that some men deserve more leniency when it comes to their behavior more so than other guys, depending on who they are or how they were raised? No and yes. Many people see famous people and they see the perceptions surrounding them, and because they are famous they have higher expectations of them. What they fail to realize is that when a regular person goes out the media and the news aren’t watching them, but as soon as an athlete uses the bathroom or eats at a restaurant they are having their pictures taken. So because they are placed under the limelight and have so much pressure placed on them, I do believe that they should be allowed some leniencies because everything that they do is magnified. Whether they want to be or not they are an open book to society, whereas the average person has privacy and doesn’t have every mistake that he has committed being broadcasted everywhere.

8.      Why do you think some guys won’t settle down? They are in their late 20s and 30s and have children, but won’t commit to a woman. Why is she good enough to continue sleeping with, but not good enough to marry? That’s a great question. I hate to say this, but a lot of times those children probably aren’t planned. There is probably something in the woman or something in himself that makes him hesitant or skeptical to commit to. Some people always wonder if they can do better, and they know that marriage is the ultimate commitment, so he probably isn’t ready to settle down until he has found someone that he can see himself spending the rest of his life with.

Maybe he feels as though she is good enough to continue sleeping with and having a good time with, but not good enough to make a commitment to or spend the rest of his life with her. That said, some women keep having those children because they feel like they can use it as leverage, but for the guy who thinks like this that will never be a good reason for him to stay with you. In his head he can still be a great father without being with you, so please don’t try to have a child with someone in hopes that he will stay with you because that might not happen.

Look at the guy you are dealing with. Some guys just won’t commit. Some men have a fear of commitment. And to be honest he probably realizes that he doesn’t have to. If he knows that he can get the benefits of being married without making the commitment, then why not just lease it and return it when he’s done. (Sorry to sound so drastic or to associate women with objects, but I’m just trying to provide a visual). When he is married though, he knows that he can’t just get out of it that easy.

If women raised their standards and drew a clear line in the sand, then those guys would alter their ways. So to answer your question, a lot of it is fear of commitment on the mens behalf but for women it is that they allow it by not setting clear expectations for what they want and what they are looking for.

9.      What’s your opinion about living with someone before marrying them? I was torn on this subject until I did it, but now that I have experienced it and I know better, I think that it is wrong. Not only do you have nothing to look forward to when you get married, but it’s just like it won’t get any better than that. Once you win the Super Bowl, what else can you win? When you are at the top of Mount Everest, where else can you go? If you are living with her and you aren’t married to her, you have already won your prize and there is nothing left to look forward to. You might even start feeling like ‘why should I give you a ring now when we have already done everything?’... I wouldn’t recommend it.

 

Some people argue that you want to test drive a car before you buy it, but you know what a Mercedes, Bentley, or an Audi is before you purchase them. Before you even get into the car you know that it is going to be a superior car because they have high standards in making them. You don’t really have to test it out because the name and the standards speak for themselves. If you saw a good deal on a flat screen that you have been wanting for years, you are going to buy it without question, and then you are going to read the instruction manual on how to make it the best that it can be and to learn how to get the optimal usage out of it.

10.   What qualities do you suggest are good marriage material attributes in a man?

·         Trust- it’s the foundation of the relationship. If you don’t have a strong foundation then you can easily be wiped away when a storm comes.

·         Someone that you are attracted to- you don’t want to be like roommates (and I’m not just talking about physically but socially, mentally, and emotionally as well); you want to like the person that you are with.

·         Protection- A woman doesn’t want to be with a man who can’t protect her. If there is a fire she wants to know that he will help her out of a burning building; not that he is going to knock her over trying to run out first.

·         Provision- not as a gold digger but as a provider. She wants to know that if something happens that she can feel secure. Someone who is resourceful, and even if he can’t cook, he can go buy something. Even though they are depending on each other, she wants to know that she can rest assured in who he is as her husband if something were to happen.

·         Friendship- You want to like the person before you love them. In a marriage you have to be with that person for the rest of your life, and since you are going to see them everyday you may want to make sure that it is somebody that you like and enjoy his company.

11.   What would a dream date be like with you? Every date that we go on is going to be special because we will be spending time with each other. I love food, so I would say that a dream date is having a prominent chef cooking a meal just for the two of us, while Boyz II Men, (have to keep it old school), serenades us. (It’s the winter and they are singing Let It Snow). On the menu are all of her favorite foods, followed by a nice dessert. After that, I would say my goodbyes and go home because I would want to keep her guessing. If it was amazing this time, then the next time I would want to top that.

Guys don’t have dream dates though, so it’s all about the female. You want to give her something to talk about, but don’t give her everything. You want to continue dating her for the rest of your life.

12.   What is the nicest thing that a girl has ever done for you? The nicest thing that a girl has ever done for me was help me pass college, but since we aren’t talking about you…you also took a whooping for me once… and told that I swallowed a quarter when I was smaller and helped me get me medical attention… you made me a bell and stood by my side when I broke my leg; making sure that I had everything that I needed… Or mom taking me to the candy store when I was a kid, or buying me that pool table that I received for Christmas when I didn’t expect it.…I am surrounded by great women so it’s hard to decide.

Ok, but outside of my sister, mom, aunts, and grandma, the nicest thing that a girl has ever done for me is when I got my wisdom tooth pulled and she stood right there by me. She also had her mom cook my favorite meal on my birthday and they drove all the way to my place to bring it to me (even though we don’t live close to each other). It may seem small, but it’s those thoughtful acts that really mean a lot to me.

13.   Mom always told ya’ll (my brothers) to treat the girl that you date like you would want someone to treat your sister. As your sister, what standards are you expecting for the guy that becomes my husband?

This is a great question. Since I only have one sister, I’m going to be more protective of you because not only do I know guys, but I know how much you are worth. It’s not what I have heard about you from other people, but I know the real you, so I know how much you deserve and I know the type of guy that is deserving of you. Because of this I would hold my standards of him extremely high. You always want the best for your family members and since you are my best friend, I only want the finest for you because you deserve that and so much more.

 

When you do get into a relationship and ultimately get married, I will offer you my opinion but the final decision is yours. I would however like to spend some quality time with him before that happens because I want to see what you see in him that you haven’t seen in anybody else. Many guys are wolves in sheep’s clothing, but I have clippers so I will be able to handle it. People are what they are, so his true colors are eventually going to come out anyway. But I want to understand who you are dealing with because I care about you.

And finally, he can’t come between us. Our family has been there for each other through a lot and we all mean the world to one another, and our significant others should add to that dynamic and not hinder it. Once you get married there are going to boundaries and some things will change, but there are some things that you can’t replace. I can’t ever replace you no matter who I marry and I hope it’s the same for you. You are my sister and my best friend. I love you.

****V.M. Says: You are trying to make me tear up with that one; thank you for caring about me so much and for always being there for me. I love you too J***

14.   Any advice for young women who are trying to figure this relationship thing out? How do you figure out the square root of pie? The Bible says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing. A woman should wait to be found. In the earth, many of the things that are worth the most value are those that have to be found: diamonds, gold, oil, etc. Just keep doing the right things and take care of yourself and you will be found. Hard work doesn’t go unnoticed. A real man is going to be looking for you. Don’t get discouraged, and always be presentable and treat people right because you never know who you will meet or where you will meet him. Keep a positive attitude.

15.   What’s your final piece of advice?

I have seen a lot of women and I know the type of women that my mom and sister are, and although the bad girls or the dangerous girls seem fun and intriguing, I have learned not to be enticed or tricked by that. I learned to set my standards and my expectations of what I want in a woman and to not settle for anything less than that. If you want a diamond, don’t go buy cubic zirconia, wait until you get the diamond. I was raised by three incredible women who I wouldn’t trade the world for, so I know that those diamonds are out there…They are worth waiting for.

 

- Virgin Monologuez

Male Week: He Said, She Said… Can Guys & Girls Just Be Friends

A while ago someone asked me the question: ‘Do you think that guys and girls can be “just friends”’?

So, I decided what better way to tackle that question than by a)answering it during the week that the guys are pretty much taking over this site, and b) by asking a guy to give his perspective while also answering the question myself.

Thus, below you have a ‘he said’, ‘she said’ response to this popular question. The ‘he said’ portion was written by… in homage to his heritage let’s call him Mr. Ireland… and the she is me.

Although I tried to provide different perspectives on the matter, I couldn’t really find any men who thought that they couldn’t. That said, I do think that we answered the question differently, so hopefully you find something helpful in both of our answers.

So here are our individual opinions on the matter….

He Said…..

In my opinion, men and women can definitely be “just friends”. If there is no, or only minor attraction, then there isn't really sexual tension to overcome. If you completely shut the door on a romantic relationship, you can open the door to a platonic friendship. Men and women can, and I think should, be friends. You can learn a lot from each other and talk to each other about things that you normally do not with friends of the same sex.

If, however one person already has feelings for the other person, then it is more difficult. I still think they can be friends, but from my experience it is dangerous and can be painful for one or both of the people, so it has to be absolutely crystal clear that there is no possibility that things will go beyond a friendship. I don’t think that you can be close friends until the feelings are gone. And I definitely don't believe in "friends with benefits". That always ends badly.

I’ve had female friends and they have been some of the best, closest and longest lasting relationships that I’ve had in my life. Some of them even started with attraction, but once the door was permanently closed on that idea, our friendships were able to grow. The catch about all of this is: you cannot let yourself think of them in “that way” and visa versa. If you find the idea of a romantic relationship slipping into your mind, you have to try to get rid of it quickly because once you indulge that thought your friendship will never be the same.

She Said….

I personally believe that it depends on whether you are single or not, (and when I say single I am talking about marriage).

The reason why your marital status matters is because once you are married, I don’t believe that you can behave in the same manner that you did while you were single. You no longer have to think about and consider just yourself, but now you have to consider the opinions and feelings of your spouse as well. The two of you have become one, and if you respect him then you have to value his opinion. And regardless of how innocent your friendships were previously with the opposite sex, I don’t see too many people wanting their significant other turning to the opposite sex and telling them personal business about the relationship and being comfortable with that. You want your significant other to want to turn to and to depend on you...not someone else. Furthermore, leaning on and depending on anyone else (of the opposite sex) other than your spouse provides the opportunity for your emotional needs to be met by someone other than your other half, and that can lay the foundation for an emotional affair. Obviously this doesn’t happen in every case, but why even open the door and create an invitation for it to arrive. Thus, I believe that if you are married you can still be friends with the opposite sex, but it should be more of you and your husband and him and his wife; never a solo type of friendship.

If you are single, again, I think that the answer is yes and no. No if you have any types of feelings for the other person, are intimate with them, or they have feelings for you. Yes if you don’t see yourself being involved with the person but you just want to be friends.

At the moment, a few of my greatest friendships are with males so I know that it is possible to have friendships with the opposite sex and it not be a complicated situation. That said, I do think that you have to be up front and clear about things before whatever type of relationship that the two of you are embarking upon gets started. You can’t be thinking that the two of you are just friends, while he thinks that he wants to be in a relationship with you, because that is going to create all kinds of tension and confusion.

Just talk about it, be honest and open, and care for people for who they are. Everybody is NOT trying to be in a relationship with you; some people genuinely just want to be your friend.

So that’s our opinion on the topic. What are your thoughts?

-Virgin Monologuez

****Oh, and be on the look out for Mr. Ireland’s Male’s Perspective Interview next month, but tomorrow’s interview will be the conclusion of Part 2 of An Athlete’s Perspective. Stay tuned…. ♥

Male Week- Monologue Monday: How To Treat A Man

This week, some of the male readers of this blog have either suggested the topics that are going to be posted or they have written the posts themselves. And what’s even more interesting (at least to me anyways J), is that they contacted me and suggested each of the posts that you are going to read this week. So things should get pretty interesting this week!
 

First suggested topic: “How to Treat A Man”

While a male reader requested this post, I ended up writing the content after doing a lot of thinking and self-reflecting. At first I thought that it might be weird for me to write a post about how to treat a man (and was going to ask someone else to write it), because not only am I not married or in a relationship, but I also don’t consider myself a relationship expert in the least bit!

That said, I don’t believe that you have to be an expert in something to know how to treat someone with dignity and respect, so I decided why not give it a shot. Thus, below are suggestions from my own observations and experiences with the opposite sex. If you have any additional tips, or you don’t agree with something that I wrote, please feel free to comment below.

-Virgin Monologuez

Monologue Monday: How to Treat A Man

©      Respect- All of the remaining suggestions work together to create this one word: respect. I don’t think that this is a complicated tip or recommendation, its just simply treating others (or men in this case), the way that you would want to be treated because at the end of the day we all just want to be loved and valued. To me respect includes but is not limited to: valuing and being thoughtful of his opinions; not trying to take advantage of him or walking all over him; not constantly nagging or talking at him…he is a person not a puppy; loving and appreciating him for HIM and not because of his title, who he knows or his occupation…care about him because of who he is as a person and not because of what he can give you in the form of economical gain or as a status symbol; communicating with him and not getting upset when he doesn’t know what’s wrong (men, like women, are not mind readers…he’s not acting if he says he doesn’t get it, he genuinely might not get it, so take some time and explain it to him before going off about something that he has no idea what you are talking about); and finally, don’t disturb him while the game is on! (I’m joking about the last one…kind of J)

©      Don’t Try to Make Him Jealous- Manipulation is not the key to obtaining what you want from someone. Don’t try to throw out the names of other guys or “casually mention” other men in a conversation and think that nothing is wrong with that. Jealousy is a dangerous emotion, and while you can’t control how someone behaves, you can control your actions and if you provoke someone to feel a certain way or not. Don’t play games with other peoples’ feelings or self-worth.

©      Listen- This goes for anyone, but when people are talking to you truly listen to what they are saying. In terms of a male though, if he wants to talk and discuss things with you, listen to whatever it is that he has to say and respond accordingly. Listening doesn’t just mean that he’s talking and you are hearing whatever he is saying; listening involves taking the time to understand what he is saying and trying to comprehend what it is that he needs or is requesting of you.

©      Don’t Try to Change Him- Accept people for who they are. A person needs to want to change because they desire to become a better person and not because that’s who you want them to be. If someone demonstrates to you that they are a terrible person, don’t try to keep working on them until they become this do-good, never have a bad thought, optimist. If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

©      Be Mindful of How You Dress & Carry Yourself- Most guys want the person that they are with to value herself and to carry herself like she knows her worth. Thus, no respectable guy wants other men seeing everything that he will someday see. It’s one thing to dress nicely and to represent him in the way that you carry yourself, it’s a completely different thing to show everybody your treasures and for everybody else to know what you look like unclothed. Cover yourself up and leave something for the imagination.

©      Don’t Call Him Out or Embarrass Him In Front of Others- My mom taught me this, but don’t disrespect people in front of their friends and family. If you have an issue with him then pull him off to the side or wait until there is a more appropriate time for you to bring up business between the two of you. Your business is you two’s business. Don’t try to damage his pride or make him feel belittled because you wanted to talk about whatever it is that you wanted to talk about right then. Embarrassing someone to get what you want is not a wise move. You may win the battle, but the war is a different story…there is only so much that a person can tolerate.

©      Encourage Him & Build Him Up- This is one of my favorite suggestions. There is nothing like encouraging and supporting a person and letting him know that you are there for him and that you believe that he can do whatever it is that he puts his mind to. Don’t try to tear him down or crush his dreams if you love him. Cheer for him and let him know that you believe in him even if no one else does…and really believe in him!

©      Keep Striving to Become A Better Woman- Don’t become complacent. Everyday you should strive to become a better woman…not just for a man, but for yourself. Once you achieve what it is that you have been wanting, don’t start settling for average or being ok staying in that state. Set new goals and dream bigger. Go hard and keep living!

©      Care About & Be Interested In What He Cares About- I’m not saying that you have to like all of the same things, but if it is something that he really cares about and gives a lot of his time and attention to, then take an interest in it (even if but a slight interest), just because it means so much to him.

©      Let Him Be The Man- I know that there are probably some feminists or “independent women” out there rolling their eyes with this one and wondering ‘what is that supposed to mean?’, but these are my suggestions and I fully stand by this belief. Let the man be the man. Period.

Make It Happen

So I told you all in the last post that this week is going to be dedicated to all the guys out there who check out this site from time to time.

While I was initially going to start the week off with a Monologue Monday post commenting on how a man should be treated, I decided what better way to start it off than with some encouragement and support. So before I post the monologue (which should be up later tonight), check out this inspirational poem below encouraging all you guys (and girls J), to get out there and reach for the stars….go after your dreams.

Whatever it is that you have wanted to do but have talked yourself out of doing, or have settled for less than because you felt like you couldn’t do it or didn’t deserve it, get out of your comfort zone and go make it happen.

The Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail.

The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn‘t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win.
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true. Reach for your future with a smile; Success is there for you!

                                                                                       -Unknown

 

-Virgin Monologuez