Male Week- Monologue Monday: How To Treat A Man

This week, some of the male readers of this blog have either suggested the topics that are going to be posted or they have written the posts themselves. And what’s even more interesting (at least to me anyways J), is that they contacted me and suggested each of the posts that you are going to read this week. So things should get pretty interesting this week!
 

First suggested topic: “How to Treat A Man”

While a male reader requested this post, I ended up writing the content after doing a lot of thinking and self-reflecting. At first I thought that it might be weird for me to write a post about how to treat a man (and was going to ask someone else to write it), because not only am I not married or in a relationship, but I also don’t consider myself a relationship expert in the least bit!

That said, I don’t believe that you have to be an expert in something to know how to treat someone with dignity and respect, so I decided why not give it a shot. Thus, below are suggestions from my own observations and experiences with the opposite sex. If you have any additional tips, or you don’t agree with something that I wrote, please feel free to comment below.

-Virgin Monologuez

Monologue Monday: How to Treat A Man

©      Respect- All of the remaining suggestions work together to create this one word: respect. I don’t think that this is a complicated tip or recommendation, its just simply treating others (or men in this case), the way that you would want to be treated because at the end of the day we all just want to be loved and valued. To me respect includes but is not limited to: valuing and being thoughtful of his opinions; not trying to take advantage of him or walking all over him; not constantly nagging or talking at him…he is a person not a puppy; loving and appreciating him for HIM and not because of his title, who he knows or his occupation…care about him because of who he is as a person and not because of what he can give you in the form of economical gain or as a status symbol; communicating with him and not getting upset when he doesn’t know what’s wrong (men, like women, are not mind readers…he’s not acting if he says he doesn’t get it, he genuinely might not get it, so take some time and explain it to him before going off about something that he has no idea what you are talking about); and finally, don’t disturb him while the game is on! (I’m joking about the last one…kind of J)

©      Don’t Try to Make Him Jealous- Manipulation is not the key to obtaining what you want from someone. Don’t try to throw out the names of other guys or “casually mention” other men in a conversation and think that nothing is wrong with that. Jealousy is a dangerous emotion, and while you can’t control how someone behaves, you can control your actions and if you provoke someone to feel a certain way or not. Don’t play games with other peoples’ feelings or self-worth.

©      Listen- This goes for anyone, but when people are talking to you truly listen to what they are saying. In terms of a male though, if he wants to talk and discuss things with you, listen to whatever it is that he has to say and respond accordingly. Listening doesn’t just mean that he’s talking and you are hearing whatever he is saying; listening involves taking the time to understand what he is saying and trying to comprehend what it is that he needs or is requesting of you.

©      Don’t Try to Change Him- Accept people for who they are. A person needs to want to change because they desire to become a better person and not because that’s who you want them to be. If someone demonstrates to you that they are a terrible person, don’t try to keep working on them until they become this do-good, never have a bad thought, optimist. If someone shows you who they are, believe them.

©      Be Mindful of How You Dress & Carry Yourself- Most guys want the person that they are with to value herself and to carry herself like she knows her worth. Thus, no respectable guy wants other men seeing everything that he will someday see. It’s one thing to dress nicely and to represent him in the way that you carry yourself, it’s a completely different thing to show everybody your treasures and for everybody else to know what you look like unclothed. Cover yourself up and leave something for the imagination.

©      Don’t Call Him Out or Embarrass Him In Front of Others- My mom taught me this, but don’t disrespect people in front of their friends and family. If you have an issue with him then pull him off to the side or wait until there is a more appropriate time for you to bring up business between the two of you. Your business is you two’s business. Don’t try to damage his pride or make him feel belittled because you wanted to talk about whatever it is that you wanted to talk about right then. Embarrassing someone to get what you want is not a wise move. You may win the battle, but the war is a different story…there is only so much that a person can tolerate.

©      Encourage Him & Build Him Up- This is one of my favorite suggestions. There is nothing like encouraging and supporting a person and letting him know that you are there for him and that you believe that he can do whatever it is that he puts his mind to. Don’t try to tear him down or crush his dreams if you love him. Cheer for him and let him know that you believe in him even if no one else does…and really believe in him!

©      Keep Striving to Become A Better Woman- Don’t become complacent. Everyday you should strive to become a better woman…not just for a man, but for yourself. Once you achieve what it is that you have been wanting, don’t start settling for average or being ok staying in that state. Set new goals and dream bigger. Go hard and keep living!

©      Care About & Be Interested In What He Cares About- I’m not saying that you have to like all of the same things, but if it is something that he really cares about and gives a lot of his time and attention to, then take an interest in it (even if but a slight interest), just because it means so much to him.

©      Let Him Be The Man- I know that there are probably some feminists or “independent women” out there rolling their eyes with this one and wondering ‘what is that supposed to mean?’, but these are my suggestions and I fully stand by this belief. Let the man be the man. Period.