Monologue Monday: Good Guys

I just want to start off by saying that I LOVE what this site is becoming. God blessed me with the idea of sharing my story and the stories of other women with you all (in the hopes of encouraging both women and men to know their value, love themselves, and to become better people in the process), but this venture has shaped into something that I never even imagined in my wildest dreams!

Since the site began I have shared the stories of numerous ladies with regards to intimacy and relationships, interviewed several guys about the male’s perspective, and shared some of my own personal experiences. Overall it has been a really positive journey.

During this time, I have received countless emails from females (virgins, those practicing abstinence, and those who are just trying to figure out what’s right for them) telling me how inspired they’ve been by certain posts, and I’m always genuinely humbled that they would even take the time to send me an email stating as such in the first place.

While the mission of this blog is to celebrate, empower, and encourage women to love themselves, their bodies, and the gift of intimacy that they possess though, it in no manner is meant to portray the males out there in a negative light.

Some of my closest friends are guys (whom I talk to frequently and tell mostly everything), and even if it weren’t for them, I have two brothers, a nephew, lots of male cousins and uncles. In short, I respect men greatly and I would never intentionally do anything to bash guys in general.

(Now if me sharing my story of a particular incident with a guy sheds that guy in a negative light then I’m just telling it like it happened, but I definitely am not the type to think that all guys are alike or that they are all bad news- that’s just not my mentality).

Just like there are some great girls out there (many who are the one’s that read this blog J lol j/k), there are also some females out there who are very manipulative, conniving, and just plain awful individuals. Likewise, there are some guys who are arrogant, rude, and self-serving, but there are also some really great guys out there who should be celebrated.

So that’s what I want to do today.

Next week we’ll be back with a monologue from another reader, but today I want to celebrate all the good guys out there who are trying to live right and do the right things.

All guys aren’t bad, and sometimes if you associate with the right like-minded guys as yourself, then you can even learn a thing or two in the process!

So here are some of the things that my guy friends, ex-boyfriends, brothers and associates have taught me:

·         Not to settle- I have AMAZING brothers. They are very supportive and very communicative with me about a lot of things. Since our father died when we were younger, they have definitely stepped up and helped be my role models and examples. They have only treated me with love and respect (opening doors for me, taking me out to eat -just us-, freely giving me words of affirmation, and just generally being there for me). Whenever a guy has tried to enter into my life that they don’t agree with, I have tried to hear them out because I respect them and know that they only want the best for me.

·         They have raised the bar- I know this might sound weird for me to say, but my exes are really great guys. I am so lucky that I've only encountered really driven, caring, passionate guys who cared about me and about life. As a result of the encounters that I have had with them, I know that I am only willing to expect better. These guys were great… they set the limit and some even raised the bar. For me it’s like I refuse to be in darkness after I have encountered electricity. They were my lamps…my world is only going to get brighter! (That sounds kind of corny but its true!)

·         That sexy doesn’t mean trashy- Only people who are trying to overly compensate for something show everything that they have at once. Nobody has to see all of you in order to like you. It’s ok to be mysterious and intriguing, not revealing everything but still being appealing. Even at 27 and being a woman J, my brothers and male friends are quick to tell me that I’m doing too much sometimes lol.

·         That less is more- My brothers (and most of my guy friends) aren’t fans of loads of make-up, hair extensions and false everything. I love my natural look just as much as I like to get dolled up, so I’m cool with whatever, but it’s nice to hear that guys aren’t really into that stuff as much as we think that they care. I mean yeah you want to look and feel good for you, but you don’t have to look like you just left the MAC Pro Shop (and tried on everything that they were offering) every single day. Just put on some lip gloss, a couple coats of mascara, and call it a day…be comfortable in your own skin!

·         How to treat a woman- This is the most important one and basically it composes all of the other ones. The guys that I know have taught me how a woman should be treated (well I already knew, but they just iterated it with their actions and behaviors): She should be respected; she should be honored; she should be showered with appreciation, affection, and even gifts; she should be made to feel secure; she should be heard; accepted; encouraged…she should be herself; everything that he wants and need, and a reflection of the person that he aspires to be.

So to all of my guys out there, thanks for being you and for knowing the value of a good woman when you see one. I know in general that you all get a bad rap for some of the things that your associates, peers and friends do, but we know that ya’ll aren’t all alike.

There are still some good guys out there.

       -Virgin Monologuez