The Male's Perspective: AaronRose24

As I promised yesterday, below is a recent interview that I did with AaronRose24 from Youtube. He was beyond kind and extremely helpful in making sure that this interview happened. His only request from me was to make sure that I quoted him word for word, and I did.

Speaking about quoting him word for word, I try to do that with every interview that I do because the idea behind doing this is so that you get a male’s perspective; not mine. Women think differently about most subjects than men, so the way that I or you might answer a question is often times very different from how someone else might respond. I think that that’s the beauty about it though! Learning from someone else and gaining another person’s perspective potentially opens your eyes up to the various types of guys out there, and how you should carry yourself as a result; which is the reason why I do these interviews in the first place.

But back to Aaron, he is seriously one of the most helpful and passionate guys that I have interviewed yet. Once we started communicating, he basically took the reins and was more than accommodating with me and my inquisitive questions!

(Which by the way, how about a round of applause to ALL of the men who have done interviews with me. I’m sure it can’t be easy putting yourself out there and sharing your opinions with the world- and more specifically the many women who visit my site. Thanks for being honest and keeping it real with us!)

So without further ado, here is Mr. Rose’s interview:

1. What’s your take on women who go all out to claim their guy, but the guy barely acknowledges her. (Think girls on facebook whose status say they are in a relationship or married, but guys who still have up single)?

A: For a woman to go all out to claim she has a man, but the guy doesn’t do the same is completely wrong. When two people decide to get together they need to let everyone know that the single mode is shut down, and that they are now in a relationship so that anyone who may be interested in them can know to step back because the rules have changed. A woman should not put forth so much effort to claim someone who doesn’t want to do the same because she’s being cheated out of the agreement. When a man doesn’t want to claim his woman (via Facebook for example), he’s not ready to stop playing around with the other women out there who want him because if they knew he was taken, most of them would go away out of respect for the relationship.

2. Why do you think so many "good girls" fall for the "bad boy" type of guys?

A: A lot of women want that security and thrill from a man so they tend to go after the “bad boy” type of guy. Women need to understand that having a “bad boy” comes with everything included with it such as: not respecting others or the law, getting into trouble everywhere you go with him, constant threats to others outside the relationship, and non-affection (because a bad boy will not be a “gentle man” in the relationship). So because of this, women will get the security they need from this hardcore type of guy, but they won’t get the other important things in a relationship like communication to allow you to vent, or him telling you about his love for you and really meaning it. Women need to understand that having a good guy doesn’t mean he will not fight for your love or make you feel secure because he WILL do all of these things and more if you allow him to.

3. Why do you think some of those same girls try to "change" the guy that she is with in order to fit her ideal man?

A: Women need to understand that you can never change a man into what you want him to be, just in order to fit your needs. If you dated him and he was a certain type of guy, when you get into a relationship or marry him, he is going to be that same guy you dated before you decided to make it official. Think about when you go to a store and buy an item off the shelf…that item will let you know on the box what its uses are and what it’s built to do. So when you go home and expect it to do something else that it wasn’t intended to do, you can’t get mad because you bought that item for its sole purpose of what it was meant to do. You get what you pay for! So if you get a guy who was lazy when you first met him, he’s going to be lazy throughout the relationship. It’s important to get to know who you are getting involved with before you make those moves.

4. Do you think that it's possible for girls and guys to be just friends? What about if they’ve dated in the past?

A: This is a “yes” and “no” answer because I believe that men and women can be friends but at the same time they can not be friends. Men and women are designed to like one another, so when you first see someone and you think that they are attractive or not, you have two options: 1) Try and make a move on them or 2) Just talk to them with no intentions. Here is where the conflict arises: someone is going to find the other person attractive. When have you ever just told yourself, “I want to get to know this person just because…”? Every time you decide to meet someone on your own terms there is a purpose behind it, and a lot of times it’s because you are interested in them. Most people meet someone to get to know them because they are interested. Now once they meet and one person finds out the other person is not interested, then that’s when they decide to just be friends. But even though you are now just friends, don’t forget why the person approached you in the first place…they liked you. So this is where the “just friends” is false because he or she is still hoping to get with you.

If you meet someone at your job or from an activity with no intentions, then it’s possible to be just their friend because there weren’t intentions to meet them on your own terms; you had to because you work with them. This is a “yes” answer because it can work between the two people, but like I said before, someone is going to like the other person even if it’s a small little crush.

5. Do you think that some people base love on convenience and are only in relationships because they are scared to be alone, or don't want to wait for the right one to come along, so they just take whatever's available at the moment?

A: Yes. I have known a lot of people who do this and it’s not a good thing. Getting with someone because you don’t want to be alone is not healthy for the mind. Of course we all want to grow with someone in life and start a family with them, or maybe just date around until you are ready to settle down, but I’ve know people who jumped from one relationship to the next one back to back because they felt the need to be with someone so they could feel whole and not be alone. If you don’t take the time to get to know who you are and what caused your relationship to fail in the last go-round, you will constantly have failing relationships. If you take the time to get to know who you are and just understand what you like, you can have a clear head and meet the right person without the baggage involved from a previous relationship.

6. What do you think about girls who save themselves for marriage or who practice abstinence? Do you think that it's harder for them to date or to be in relationships?

A: I think it’s a wonderful thing for a female to save herself for the right guy who wants marriage. The world is a crazy place to live in now a days with all of this sex floating around. It’s very difficult to be the different person in the bunch when everyone else is doing it, but the outcome is so awesome. Sex really changes people in a relationship; makes them crazy, paranoid, fearful and much more. With sex comes so much responsibility because you have to worry about someone cheating on you, giving you a STD, or having an unexpected pregnancy. It’s very difficult for someone to deal with a person who doesn’t have sex in relationships and someone who does, because one is used to getting sex whenever they want and the other is not used to getting sex at all. Conflict is pretty understandable.

7.  Some girls seem to think that if she sleeps with a guy that he will like her more. Do you find that to be true?

A: False! So not true. Guys love the feel of a chase in a relationship just like a dog loves the chase of a good ball thrown or a car driving by. If a man has sex with a female too early, he no longer is interested in her because what his goal was from the beginning was given to him early. A woman needs to not give herself up to early to a guy she likes because she can’t find out if this is the right guy for her or not. Taking the time to get to know someone before jumping into a relationship is very, very important so that she can save herself from heartbreak.

8. With the divorce rate being as high as it is, there are many guys who come from broken homes and don't know how to treat a woman or how to even respect themselves. Do you think that girls/women should be more lenient/patient with guys who haven't always had the perfect example to model their relationships after?

A: Yes, a woman should have a lot of patience with a guy who didn’t grow up with both parents. Not having a father (in most cases) is hard to handle when you are growing up because he doesn’t know how to be a full man if he never had a role model, and you learn how to do what’s needed from a father figure. He can learn all that’s needed from the mother about treating women with respect, but a woman wants to have a man who takes care of business; growing up he might not have had someone teaching him that. He is going to make a lot of mistakes that will cause a woman to go bananas but if you get him through it, he will be a great guy for you.

9.  Jumping off of that question, what 3 dating tips or advice would you give to the guys reading this who really do want to make their relationships better or to become better men in general?

A: Tip #1: Treat your woman with respect at all times and be a gentleman. A woman loves a man who can be respectful at all times, no matter what the situation is. Open all the doors for her, pay for the first dates, and treat her like a Queen to make her happy.

Tip #2: Be yourself. No woman wants a guy who is false to her or himself. If you are goofy, be goofy. If you are hardcore, be hardcore. Let her decide if she likes you and go from there.

Tip #3: Wait on having sex with her. The most important thing about gaining a female’s trust is letting her know that you are not after her because of her body alone. If you are really into this woman, you need to earn her trust and make sure she is comfortable with you.

10. What are three ways that a female can be more supportive of the guy that she is dating/married to?

A: Tip #1: Treat him like a King. A man will do so much more for you if you treat him like he is the King of your castle. When a woman makes a man feel good and on top of the world, like he is on top of the world, he will do so much more for you and more.

Tip #2: Listen to his thoughts and concerns. Men have feelings too and we need our woman to hear what we want in a relationship and what he don’t like. This actually goes for both parties but for men it’s very important. We always feel we need to fix certain situations in our relationships, so we will always try and make sure that things are running in order.

Tip #3: Understand that he is not perfect. It’s a proven fact that women are a lot smarter than men are, so understand this when he makes mistakes that are easy for you to solve. He is your partner in crime and you both need each other to be a great team.