Monologue Monday: Letters to My Younger Self #4

How was your Monday?

Mine was pretty good, but at the moment I’m HUNGRY!!!

I’ll take care of that in a second, but first, I just wanted to sit down and write this quick post.

I actually received a request to talk about the difference between gold-digging and security….bet you can guess who it came from: yep, a guy sent it in.

Either way, I think it’ll be a fun topic to discuss because I definitely think there’s a difference between the two.

But before I get to that topic, I wanted to write a quick note to my younger self. (Hopefully I’ll get to the post on security vs. gold-digging soon, but I’m trying to stop giving out dates because lately I haven’t been able to stick to them because work has been so busy. So in an effort to try to be a woman of my word, I’ll just say, “as soon as I get some free time, I’ll stop back by to give my opinion on the matter and I would love for you to do the same”).

In the meantime, here’s what I would tell my younger self today….

(And if you have no idea what this is all about, click here).

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

Dear Younger Self:

Let me just get straight to the point on this one:

It’s better to be honest and clear about your limits UP FRONT, than to be unclear about the matter when you know that you have boundaries that you don’t desire to go past.

You know that you don’t want to have sex before marriage, so don’t be vague about it.

Don’t worry whether you are going scare the guy off, whether everybody else is going to have something to say about it, or whether it’s kind of uncomfortable to talk about when you don’t know how the other person is going to respond.

All of that is irrelevant. This is your body we’re talking about and your life. What everyone else thinks, particularly in this case, really doesn’t matter much.

Not telling the guy that you are interested in or telling him but being unclear about it all, is not only misleading, but it could potentially cause a lot of unnecessary confusion and tension when you could’ve just be upfront about it from the beginning.

Besides, if you divulging this information is going to cause someone to walk away or be apprehensive, you should know his intentions before things get serious.

If he walks away or tries to convince you to do “everything else but sex” trust me when I say he’s not the one for YOU.

Leading someone on, sugar-coating things, or not being completely clear, is wrong. Being straightforward and direct about your boundaries really is the only way to go. Not only will you be saving yourself a lot of heartache by being truthful, but you can weed out the random guys who care more about their desires being fulfilled than they do about getting to know you as a person.

I’m not saying tell everybody, that’s dangerous… but if you’ve been getting to know someone and he has piqued your interest, if you think there could be a future there, be open with him and talk about it.

Wait for the one who will wait with you and not make you feel bad about it or question your decisions…

And don’t ever forget that you are WORTH waiting for