Monologue Monday: Comparing Yourself to Others

I talk a lot about comparing one’s self and being envious of others here on this site. I personally believe that there is a direct correlation between comparing yourself to others and having low self-esteem.
Once you begin feeling bad about yourself, not only does this affect your confidence and self-worth, but this kind of thinking can roll over into your relationships, can have an effect on your dreams and aspirations, and can determine whether or not you apply yourself in life or you sit back and watch as others go after their dreams while you unrightfully feel insecure or as though you don’t measure up.
Before I go any further, I want to say that you do measure up and you are more than enough.
Once you start believing things about yourself, they become your truth and you live your life accordingly. (Which is why it is so important to speak positive things. Even if you don’t feel positive, I dare you to start speaking positively anyway and watch the difference that it makes in your life).
The more that you think about all of the things that are wrong with you, the worse you feel about yourself. Likewise, the more you start thinking about and speaking aloud the things that you admire and appreciate about yourself, the sooner you see yourself as the jewel that you really are.
This may mean taking drastic measures such as cutting back on social media or not reading some of your favorite magazines, but the reality is that sometimes these things are a distraction. You get so caught up in someone else’s life (that they are editing for the sake of only showing you the best or most envious parts), that you start resenting or hating your own life.
Don’t compare yourselves to others. In the media, things are seriously rarely ever as they appear. Even those “glamorous girls” that you wish you could be more like are not necessarily the exact way that they are being portrayed publicly.
You don’t go home with people privately, so you have no idea how they are really living their personal lives.
I used to get so caught up in this. I was one of those girls who would look at my friends facebook pages and feel like I was so far behind, or I would look in a magazine and think about all of the things that could be better about my own body, but at some point enough became enough.
If you live your entire life wishing that it was composed of elements of someone else’s life whose life have you actually lived?
Aren’t you more important than illusions or the editing of some producer or editor-in-chief whose sole purpose is to make you feel as though you are missing out on something so that you can covet the lifestyle that they are trying to sell you?
Don’t get caught up in the hype!
I’m grateful to say that this phase of my life, where I thought that I wasn’t enough or wanted to be like someone else, only lasted a little while. But I’m writing about it today because every once in a while it does try to come back and make me loose focus, but that’s when I fight back.
I refuse to be a carbon copy of anyone when I can be an original who sets her own trends and standards.
Live your life for you because it’s that precious. Even if everyone else in the world is doing something drastically different, you don’t fit in, or other people just don’t get you, do it anyway because you could be the catalyst for change that so many need to see.
Never stop being you and do it with style and conviction! Being you is MORE THAN ENOUGH J.


  1. I have struggled with not feeling like I was enough or always comparing my life with other people. It got so bad that it started affecting my artwork and it was in all of my relationships. But I finally can say that I accept me for who I am even if others won't. Cause I know that God accepts me. Your right i wouldn't have lived if I was constantly trying to be someone else.

  2. @Shar, freedom is beautiful right?!?! To know that you are perfect just the way you are, makes life that much more enjoyable. I tell myself constantly to think as though I have on blinders (like a horse) and thus not to get distracted by what's happening around about me or who is doing what and to focus on my dreams and goals. It really helps me. Thanks for commenting :)

  3. I absolutely love this post!!! It kind of goes hand in hand with 'Love yourself month'. I still write something about myself that I love (and will continue to do so) and it has really helped me love for me and the person that I am so much more, and also helped me stop comparing myself to others. There is only one me, and I love her so much!!! (after GOD of course)


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