Monologue Monday: Single But Occupied

Oc.cu.py :  To take up a space or an amount of time. To engage the attention or energies of.

-Webster’s Dictionary

 

I have a confession to make….

As easy, (but very deceiving) as it would be to make it seem like I have it altogether, I DON’T. (But that’s not the confession part…I’m getting to that in a second).

I mean I feel like I’m definitely getting the hang of things the more that I grow and learn, but I haven’t always had a handle on things.

 In fact, I used to be one of those girls, (and this is where the confession comes in), who sat around wondering ‘when’s it going to be my time?!?!’ (I even began wondering was something wrong with me that everyone else knew about but kept me out of the loop on…like seriously, why was I single?!?!?).

My precious brothers and mom were so supportive of me during that “phase” and always tried to encourage me and remind me of how special I was, but that only got me so far.

In spite of all of their support, and my knowing that things would happen when and as they should, I still felt like feeling sorry for myself.

At some point I got fed up with the self-pity though and realized that I had a life to live. I had dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve, and the longer I sat around focusing on what I didn’t have, the more I was missing out on LIVING!!!

That didn’t sit well with me.

I have too much ambition and passion to sit back idly as life passes me by.

So the most interesting thing happened. As I changed my mindset and started seeing being single as a blessing (instead of the curse that many people want you to believe that it is!), I started making moves and developing my strengths.

I started seeing being single as a time to refine myself, to go after some of the goals that I had, and most importantly to focus on me. (That’s not to say that I want to be single forever…let’s not get carried away with it J, but I AM saying that being single is just as much of a gift as being in a relationship).

I truly believe that once you get in a relationship it’s not just about you anymore, but at that point it’s about the both of you (as it should be).

Focusing on me meant doing the things that I’ve always wanted to do, pondering what I wanted to be and how I wanted to go about it, taking really crazy and exotic trips and not worrying about who I was leaving behind, devoting my time to volunteerism, and doing anything else that my heart (and creative mind) could come up with.

The more I have learned to love and appreciate where I am right now in life, and have turned my energy and attention into doing something positive, the less I have thought about what I don’t have. After doing things for others, putting in the time to achieve my goals, and setting aside the time to take care of my mind, body and soul, I am too exhausted (but fulfilled J), to think about what I don’t have!

So at this point in my life  I’m just grateful that I have a life and that I understand that it's worth living, and I am going to do just that each and every day that I’m given…whether I’m single or in a relationship.

What about you? What’s your take on the single life?