Monologue Monday: AaronRose24

Morning everyone!

How’s it going???? I hope your week is getting off to a great start J.

Today’s Monologue Monday post is coming to you from Youtube’s Aaron Rose.

He sent me an email last week…or was it a facebook message (I can’t remember)… but he asked if he could tell his story in his own words, and I was pretty excited about that.

Usually, women contact me (or sometimes I contact them), and they just want the opportunity to share their stories in a monologue, but the guys just want to be asked questions and interviewed.

Well, Aaron wanted to do both. You can find the interview that he did a couple of months ago here, and below you can find his story.

While I personally know many of the people who have guest posted or interviewed for this blog, there are many of them that I meet along this journey and Aaron is one of them. Even though I have never met him, he has been extremely kind and supportive in all of our correspondences. Although on some topics we may think differently, what I admire and appreciate the most about him is his ability to remain true to himself and to not shy away from topics that are of interest to other people.

If you have watched any of his videos, it seems as though many women write in to him asking him questions about this or that (almost like a HITCH but for women….gosh, I love that movie….I’m rambling…. Sorry!).

Anyway, the point is that he doesn’t mind talking about issues that affect some people. While his perspective is not indicative of the entire male species, it does provide a general glimpse into how some men think.

So what’s the point of him or others sharing their stories or being interviewed? Are they just doing it to tell their business?

No. Everyone who has so kindly come on the site and shared their story in their own perspectives, have done so because they desire to help somebody else out. They feel as though if their experiences and past encounters can be shared in order that someone else won’t have to repeat the same mistakes or deal with the same heartache as they have, then they are more than willing to tell their story. If their pain wasn’t in vain, then the potential humiliation or judging doesn’t really phase them. They are not coming on here for people to talk about them or judge them, they are coming to provide deeper insight into real situations.

That’s also one of the reasons why I do the Male Perspective Interviews myself. I’m not one of those ‘Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man’ type of girls (I think a lady should act AND think like a lady), but I do think it’s important to realize that not all people or all guys in this case, are alike… So I do it to show women that there ARE a wide variety of guys out there, all with differing opinions, and some who don’t mind waiting until they have found you…the right person for them.

Enough of me blabbering though, here is Aaron’s narrative in his own words…

 

Monologue Monday: AaronRose24

Growing up as a P.K. (preacher’s kid) was difficult at times. Everyone in the church had high expectations of me. People made it a big deal when I got into trouble. From the time that I was in elementary school to my high school days, I would always hear the teachers say, “…can you believe he’s a preacher’s kid???”

They made it seem like I was supposed to live up to my father’s expectations and be perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a bad kid. I was just like any other child growing up; making mistakes and learning new things as I went along.

In terms of being promiscuous, I didn’t start having sex until I was a senior in high school. I had a huge liking for girls but never had high interest in having sex with any of them at the time.

The problem with most people today is that they look at titles. I wasn’t my father. I was a normal human being who God created, just like everyone else. I was not perfect and was destined to make mistakes, but because I was a preacher’s kid I experienced a lot more judgment and pressure to behave a certain way. This was a bit frustrating, because I was still trying to find myself.

I have 3 older siblings. I’m the baby of the family, and everyone has me beat by at least 10 years. Growing up, my father would have this saying…”You’re not supposed to have sex until you’re married.” We would hear that phrase every time we watched a film and it came to a sex scene. My mother would fast forward it so we didn’t see what was going on but we all knew (lol). My dad would do the talking and my mother would do the forwarding. It was that simple. Weird thing was that my dad would say his phrase but he didn’t fast forward the film when we watched it with him. It was my mother who did that when he wasn’t around. I used to feel so uncomfortable watching sex scenes from a movie with my parents. I liked the idea of physical contact, but not with my parents around me!

My parents never took the time to actually break down the reasons why we weren’t supposed to have sex until marriage. If they did, I don’t remember it. I’m sure my father would explain from a Bible’s standpoint but as a kid I didn’t fully understand that, and as I grew older, I heard it less and less. At this point, my older siblings (2 sisters and 1 brother) had already moved out of the house and I was the only one left. Like I said, I had no big interest in sex so my parents never saw me do anything major that would cause them to say anything to me about it.

Well, high school came and I became more into women than ever before. I saw nothing but booty and breast, (excuse my use of words but it’s who I am and I like to keep it real with my readers from my perspective), and I loved it. All of my hormones had kicked in and I loved what I saw.

Growing up, I was always a respectable young guy. I took care of myself, respected females and myself. I didn’t realize it at the time, but as I began to mature and grow into myself, women became more and more into me. My father explained it to me that we “Rose men” (Rose is my last name by the way), have something called “The Rose Charm”, which basically meant that we are so unique in who we are and how we interact, that many women are drawn to us. (He experienced it as he was growing up, before he met my mother, and I was experiencing it now). We speak with authority, we have attractive features, and we treat women with respect, and as a result many of them are attracted to that.

For the longest time I didn’t believe him and just thought he was running his mouth, but boy was I wrong! As soon as I hit high school and started growing into my own, it began to happen. Females began to show interest in me, and it became so strong that I almost felt as though I couldn’t be my complete self around them for fear of them thinking that I was hitting on them.

Now ladies, I know what you are probably thinking…I sound like I have a big head and am over exaggerating my words, but you have to understand that I’m not. I was and still am a man of God, and when your parents raise you to be different from the rest of the world, and you share in a personal relationship with God, people are going to notice that there’s something unique and special about you and want a piece of that.

My first girlfriend was a 10^th grader. I was one grade higher than her, but it didn’t matter to me because we all know that women’s minds mature faster than men’s. She came after me and we became a great couple. While we flirted and messed around, we never hinted towards the notion of sex. We knew that everyone else was doing it, but we weren’t that type of couple and I wasn’t the type of guy to be like everybody else. The saying goes, “if you’ve never experienced it before, then you’ll never miss it”.

She and I broke up later that year, and I didn’t date anyone else for the remainder of my high school years. There were a couple of girls who wanted to make out with me after school, but that’s as far as it went. As I told ya’ll earlier, it wasn’t until my senior year that I would loose my virginity.

That year (my senior year), I was into acting and one thing about working with a crew of people that you share interests with and  see on daily basis is that you become close to them. With all of the long hours after school rehearsing and being backstage with others for hours at a time, you grow really close and sometimes even intimate with some people.

One night we were rehearsing for the upcoming play, and we were all taking a break in the back until it was our time to come onto the stage. We were all sitting in a circle and began talking about sex and relationships. Some people were off to the sides doing things that they weren’t supposed to be doing and others were joining in the conversation.

It was hard for me because many of the girls in the group liked me, and so many times I had been told how I could have them, and some of them even went as far as showing me the goods without my asking. I was going crazy! Everything had been pushed to the limit, and that night was going to be the night that the straw broke the camel’s back.

One of the lead characters, who was NOT a virgin and a freshman in school, was discussing many intimate topics and with most of her conversation she was directing it towards me. At one point we left the group and one thing led to another, and before you know it I had lost my virginity.

Afterwards, I was disappointed. I asked myself, “this is what I’ve been waiting for?!” I shared no sense of excitement, no sense of feeling.

Over the next couple of years, I experienced being intimate with other women, a lot of whom were my girlfriends…I wasn’t the type of guy to run around and mess with other women just because I could. I still had respect for myself.

I’ve had sex with women before getting into a relationship with them, and it has made things ten times worse. I would be confused about love, knowing who I was, and what my purpose was in the relationship. It’s been said that if you have sex with someone before you know who they really are, it can damage your relationship. You confuse lust with love, you get upset when they don’t continue to have sex with you, and you get jealous when you see them talking to or hanging around the opposite sex. It can really mess you up!

When you are in a relationship with someone and the two of you are sleeping together, or even if you are a virgin but the other person has had sex, you start to worry if they are doing something with someone else. All of these things make you wonder and you go crazy! If your boyfriend or girlfriend comes home late, doesn’t pick up the phone, or doesn’t interact with you in same way as they used to, the first thing you think is that they are cheating on you.

Many of these fears and anxieties could be avoided though. I never understood the reason why God said that we should not have sex before marriage until now. The fact that you or your partner hasn’t had sex yet makes your life a whole lot easier. It’s less to worry about because you don’t have to wonder whether they are sleeping around with other people, experiencing a pregnancy scare, or wondering if you have a std (which are getting worse everyday).

Being in a relationship where you haven’t slept with the other person allows you to get to know him or her without tainting your perspective with the influencer of sex. You won’t confuse love with lust.

The fact that God told us to wait for marriage was because he was trying to save us from all the heartaches and worries that being intimate with someone prematurely brings. 

Sure in relationships you have arguments and other things that bug you, but to not have to worry about someone stepping out on you or if they have something wrong with their body when you first meet them eliminates 90% of worry!

Most people will tell you that they worry about their partner stepping out on them in a relationship vs. anything else. I know I do! Even if you’re partner is the most trust worthy person, it still brings the idea to your head.

So, why was I doing something that I knew was wrong? I couldn’t tell you the answer to that question. All I knew was that it felt good and once I got a feel of it, I couldn’t leave it alone. It became like a drug and I had to experience a “hit” every chance I got.

It got to a point where I didn’t see it as a sin anymore. I was listening to my body more so than God himself. I had the idea that because I had already broken the rule of no sex before marriage, that there was no reason to stop.

I believed in God and prayed on a regular bases, but most people would still call me an evil man or a sinner. They are absolutely right…I am a sinner. I'm not  perfect, but neither is anyone else. We all have sinned and no sin is greater than the other. I’m not making excuses for my actions, but so many people are quick to judge failing to realize that only God can judge.

When you wait on marriage before you engage in sex, it is a beautiful thing. When the two of you are waiting, you both can experience that feeling of physical intimacy together and have that surprising joy from start to finish. You can have a baby together and not have to worry about anything because you are married to each other. It’s so much joy, and you’ll see that the wait was worth it.  So ladies, continue to save yourself for marriage because the results will be awesome.

From a male’s perspective, I can tell you that your husband will be so proud to know that he is the first, the last, and the only guy that you have been with. Don’t worry about not being experienced because with the amount of time that the two of you will spend with each other over the years, you will learn a thing or two. You will know him, and he will know you.

Knowing what I know now, I would have told myself to wait for marriage but I’ve made my choice. Do I still continue to have sex? Yes, I do. Would I be able to control myself if I didn’t get into another physically intimate relationship and not have sex? I’m not too sure but I do believe that if God put a virgin in my path for a future wife, I would respect her and definitely wait for our day of marriage.