Monologue Monday: Perfection Is Overrated

Seriously.

You want to know something about me... I love writing.

I can also be a bit of a perfectionist.

 Combine the two of those together and you know what you get: NOTHING.

Complete and utter silence.

It’s not writer’s block or a lack of things to say, but if I’m to be completely honest, somehow over the last week or so I have gotten so caught up in having “the perfect thing to say”, (which by the way what does that even mean?), that I have almost psyched myself out of saying anything.

Notice how I said almost. I love keeping it real with myself, so when I’m doing something that I know is not cool, I call myself out and try to get it together….quick.

That’s what prompted me to write this completely random post.

I have so much passion and joy when I write, but over the past couple of days I have just allowed myself to get caught up in the expectations of it all, that it’s kind of taken the fun out of things for me.

(“Expectations” meaning ‘what should I say?’, ‘what do they want to hear?’, ‘what if I say something that other’s don’t like or agree with?’, 'what if someone else has already written something similar and I just don’t know it?’).

Instead of expressing what’s in my heart to say, I’m over thinking what’s in my head. Not because it’s not good or that it’s not worth saying, but because I’m too focused on saying the perfect thing.

Here’s a news flash for you (mainly for me though):

The truth of the matter is that I’m not perfect. I don’t always have the right thing to say, and it’s definitely probably not what you would expect me to say most of the time…especially if you knew me in real life.

(I mean really, who would have thought I would be talking about virginity and relationships, when growing up, I wouldn’t even say the word S-E-X. So much for that right??? I’m all about talking about this stuff now because it matters and its affecting our generation in ways that we aren’t prepared for, so so much for me being “prudish” … well kind of....there are still some people that I would NEVER talk about sex with- mainly my mom- but I’m kind of getting off topic. Sorry….)

But here’s what I’ve come to quickly realize… or rather after asking this question it has helped to put things into perspective: who decides what perfection is?

Other people.

I can continue to write and be who I am like I have been forever, or I can continue to allow the distractions of the last couple of days to cloud my judgment and convince me that I don’t have anything worth say (which is NOT going to happen by the way!).

So….I’m admitting that I temporarily got distracted, but I likewise quickly came to my senses and realized that me writing is not about being perfect or living up to anyone else’s expectations.

I’m not always going to say the right thing, some days I’m going to feel like ranting, and almost every day, (or every day actually), I’m never going to be  perfect, but in being myself, that’s my perfection.

So what I have learned this past week is that I don’t have to be perfect or adhere to the standards of anyone else….I just need to be genuine and speak from my heart.

All I need is to be me J