I've Moved....

Hi everyone,

 

         I just wanted to let you all know that I’m moving sites, and you can now find me on my company website  at Dorothy Alexa (where I also blog from time to time)!

 

Thank you so much for being a part of my journey thus far, and I look forward to seeing you at my new home: www.dorothyalexa.com. Oh, and  please don’t forget to like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dorothyalexa, where you can keep up with the latest updates and  info!!!

 

Thanks again :)

 

My New Home: WWW.DOROTHYALEXA.COM

 

 

What I Was Doing In Asia…

I mentioned in one of my previous posts that I had been living in Southeast Asia for the past two years, and had recently returned back home in July when I wrote and stated that I would be taking a break from blogging. Well, now I’m back from my mini-break and I just wanted to fill you all in on what I was doing while I was there.

The short answer is that I was volunteering.

I had two assignments: my primary assignment was to teach English at a local college, and my second assignment (which I chose personally and that was extremely close to my heart), was mentoring young girls at an orphanage, teaching them English, art, and some life skills.

All in all I am beyond glad that I had the chance to live in a developing country and to step out of my comfort zone because this experience (more so than any other country that I have ever been to or lived in) really pushed me in ways that I didn’t think possible.

Now that I’m back at home, I feel refreshed and ready to apply myself in new ways.

While I was away, in my spare time I was working on some really cool projects which brings me to this new phase that I’m currently in in my life: continuing to mentor young people, but also starting my own online boutique and writing my first book.

There is so much stuff that I could say about my trip, I have a gazillion pictures that I took and could share, and so many interesting stories that I could recount, but I don’t want to bore you more than I probably already have by talking about myself too much, so I’ll just wrap this post up by saying that I’m looking forward to this next phase of my life and I hope that you all will join me!

My next post is going to be a moving announcement, and from here on out I will no longer be blogging here as Virgin Monologuez, but you will now be able to find me at my new company website: www.dorothyalexa.com

Thank you to each and every one of you for all of the messages, emails, and love that you have showed me since I started this blog.

-Hope to see you at my new home J

Let Me Introduce Myself To You- Meet Me :)

Hi all,

I’m back!

As I mentioned in my last post, I recently returned back from Southeast Asia back in July and decided to take the last few months getting back into the swing of things, and visiting family and friends who I haven’t seen in the last TWO YEARS!!!

*** Side note- I’m currently writing a post discussing how it was for me living in Southeast Asia and what I was doing there and will be posting it soon, but for now I just wanted to let you all know that I’m back and I missed sharing things with you all****.

Also, over the within the next week or so, I am going to completely stop blogging here, but you can now find me at my new company’s website (it includes a blog section, shop, and all)! (www.dorothyalexa.com)

I’ve never formally introduced myself to you all (partly because of my occupation then and partly because it wasn’t the right time but more on that in the next post as well), but now is the perfect opportunity for me to do that!

Please either go to my company website: www.dorothyalexa.com or our Facebook page: www.facebook.com/dorothyalexa and like our page! While there you will find out more about me and what I’m currently up to.

In the meantime, while I won’t be writing over on this site much longer (and I hope you would like and follow me to my new home J), but either way, I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you who have supported and subscribed to me. While I was overseas and away from home, having this outlet to express myself and my thoughts carried me many days, so thank you for being there.

♥ Can’t wait to meet you all ♥

I’m Taking a Break….Back In America :)

I recently just got back home (to America), and I am beyond excited!!!!

For the past couple of years I have been working in southeast Asia, and although I am grateful for the opportunity and have memories that will last a lifetime, I am so happy to be back home and to see all of my family and friends again!

And now that I’m back at home, I think that I am going to take a three-four month sabbatical type break (from now until either late November or early December) from blogging.

I have a ton of people to meet and catch up with, some side projects that I want to take some time to focus on, family that I can’t wait to visit, and foods that I can’t wait to snack on (because they weren’t available where I was)!

I don’t want to completely end this site because I value its purpose, and because I think each one of you is amazing and I enjoy our interactions with each other. But for now I’m just pausing and trying to completely enjoy myself and devote my time to my family and friends (and business ventures), that I have been away from for the past couple of years.

I’ll be back later in the next few months, and hopefully during that time you won’t forget about me/ unsubscribe from the site, but if so, I completely understand. (I just want to fill you in instead of just disappearing with no explanation).

I can’t wait to tell you all about my work in Asia, my new ventures, get back to writing quality content, and just communicating back and forth with you all, but at the moment my top priorities are going to be my family and friends…whom I have missed like crazy! (Please feel free to email me during this time if you need/want to catch up…I’ll still be checking my emails).

Thanks for sticking around, and hopefully you’ll continue to support me once I return. (And I will definitely be returning!!!!).

Until then, take care  J

Monologue Monday: 28 Random Facts about Me

So in honor of my 28^th birthday coming up soon, I thought I would share with you all 28 random facts about me:

1.       My favorite color is red.

2.       I ate a fried cricket once in Cambodia to try to “integrate”. While it tasted kind of like bacon, I don’t think I’ll EVER do that again!

3.       I love when it rains…like pouring rain. I’ll put on my pjs if I’m home, throw in a movie, and snuggle under a ton of blankets…good times J

4.       I love blasting the air conditioner while being under a ton of blankets…it doesn’t really make sense, but it’s just something about it that makes me feel all warm and cozy on the inside.

5.       I’m a homebody who prefers hanging out with friends and family…to parties.

6.       I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m such a fan that it deserves to be mentioned again: I LOVE football.

7.       I’m a Christian.  (My favorite book of the Bible is Esther; I love reading it over and over).

8.       Sometimes I fear that I’ll be the 40 year old virgin…in real life:/ That and snakes are not cool. (I’m kidding…kind of).

9.       I love getting dressed up- sometimes with no where to go…it just makes me feel better.

10.   My favorite genre of movies is action, followed by romantic comedies.

11.   I have a bucket list of things that I want to do before I die, with really random things on it like swim with sharks, visit at least 100 countries (I’m at 16 at the moment), and take a picture with an exotic animal up close and personal. (P.S. when I say swim with sharks, I want to clarify that I should be in a cage and under supervision, and because I have chosen to do it at that time…. Not because of a plane crash or something horrible and I was forced too! I would be terrified!...Just want to clear that up)!

12.   Most of the time you will find me really energetic and bubbly. I love to laugh and have a good time.

13.   I’ve never consumed alcohol. I’ve been up close to alcoholism and I don’t even want to chance it…I’d rather just not drink. That said, I still know how to have a good time.

14.   I failed my driving test 3 times!!! (It was only the written part, so that’s not as bad right?!?!)

15.   I love to cook, and my favorite things to make are desserts. (I make a ridiculously good cheesecake!)

16.   My godmother and I were born on the same day.

17.   I look up to and aspire to be more like the women in my life, particularly my grandma, aunts, godmother, and mom.

18.   It doesn’t take much to make me cry during a movie.

19.   Two of my favorite stores are walmart and target….seriously, you can find anything there!

20.   I’m a DIY (do it yourself) kind of girl, and I love creating things and decorating.

21.   I love taking naps in the middle of the day if I’m off and don’t have anything else to do. (Have to get that beauty sleep!)

22.   I had a pet hamster growing up. The thought of him now, that I have slept with a mouse and been surrounded by rats while volunteering in Cambodia, doesn’t make me smile as much. (P.S. I’m also afraid of rats and mice…like seriously afraid).

23.   I almost always root for the underdog. (Unless I have a dedication to the other team that surpasses my sentimental/emotional side).

24.   I love to eat!!! (I just make sure to balance it out by working out. (My favorite work outs are pilates, zumba, and yoga…without the chanting, just the exercising).

25.   I’m a serious saver, who occasionally gives herself an allowance to spend big without thinking about how much I’m spending. But once the allowance is up, I stop.

26.   I sometimes times say literally when I am speaking figuratively.

27.   I value privacy…A LOT… Which is why I would probably shy away from ever making a YouTube video or anything like that, but I admire those who do. That said, here are my top four YouTube gurus, hands down: wendyslookbook, particiabright (formely know as brittpopprincess), nicoleguerriero, and beautybyjj

 

28.   My top 5 favorite places in the world are: London, Venice, Seoul, America (all of it!), and any where that my family is living in at the moment.
 

What’s a random fact about you?!?!

Monologue Monday: Letters To My Younger Self #3

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

This letter is kind of embarrassing. Not in the funny way, but in the ‘I can’t believe I allowed that to happen’ kind of way.

My advice to my younger self this week would be: Don’t try to impress others.

This may seem like pretty standard knowledge, but when I was in high school and even college, I did some pretty dumb things all in the name of love while trying to impress certain people.

It’s not that I thought that being myself wasn’t enough, because even then I maintained a certain sense of awareness about who I was and what I wanted out of life, and I was focused on achieving those things…it’s just I went overboard some times.

So I definitely had my moments when I was like ‘why did I do that?’

I guess it would be even more embarrassing if I were still making the same mistakes now that I was then, but since I’m not, I guess I should be thanking my younger self for the knowledge that it has forced me to learn through certain things that I experienced back then.

Maybe I should give you some examples for those of you reading this wondering ‘like what?’ These are just a few of the ones that immediately come to mind, but trust me when I say this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg…

*Taking my ENTIRE two week paycheck to buy my then boyfriend a ridiculously expensive watch for his birthday….that was stolen on campus 2 weeks later. (Here’s the thing on this one- Buying gifts for a boyfriend or any of my friends is not crazy to me. I know some girls who are like ‘he’s supposed to be spending money on you...not the other way around’. I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE GIRLS. If I care about someone, family members and friends alike, I like to shower them with gifts from time to time. This doesn’t always mean materialistic though. Sometimes it’s my time, energy, or something else. (Like if they’ve been wanting to do something but I haven’t had the time- I’ll just surprise them one day and cancel everything that’s on my agenda and make the day strictly about them). That said, in this situation it wasn’t me buying him a gift that was dumb- it was the fact that I took all of my money to pay for it….not cool. This was when I was a freshman in college, so since then I have learned how to budget money and how to be responsible. Now I give myself a budget that is inline with my finances, and if something is over that I go back to the drawing board and think of a different idea. My advice to my younger self in this situation is don’t live a lie…or try to be something that you aren’t. Stick within your means and be yourself…that’s better than any amount of money or gift).

*Being ambiguous about my boundaries when I first got into a relationship with my ex. (I was going to go into detail about this one, but I think it deserves its own letter. Maybe I’ll write more about this next week…we’ll see).

*This one isn’t about dating, but it still goes along with the topic: Wearing crazy high heels to a premiere in London while walking across gravel. (Seriously…. I’m the kind of girl who tries to have a pair of flats in her bag at all times to avoid situations like this. It’s one thing to walk the underground in sky high heels, but walking across gravel and pebbles of rocks when there were flashing lights every where. Thank God I didn’t break my leg). Going forward, I wear what I’m comfortable in. I’m just as much into heels as the next girl, but I know my limits now. If I know that those platforms are going to cause me to end up in the emergency room, I’m going to opt out.

Honestly, I guess these weren’t all that embarrassing, especially considering the payoff of me having learned valuable lessons…So maybe in this letter I realized that my past is just as important as my present and future because it taught me lessons.

It’s one thing to make mistakes, but it’s another to keep repeating them.

Monologue Monday: Perfection Is Overrated

Seriously.

You want to know something about me... I love writing.

I can also be a bit of a perfectionist.

 Combine the two of those together and you know what you get: NOTHING.

Complete and utter silence.

It’s not writer’s block or a lack of things to say, but if I’m to be completely honest, somehow over the last week or so I have gotten so caught up in having “the perfect thing to say”, (which by the way what does that even mean?), that I have almost psyched myself out of saying anything.

Notice how I said almost. I love keeping it real with myself, so when I’m doing something that I know is not cool, I call myself out and try to get it together….quick.

That’s what prompted me to write this completely random post.

I have so much passion and joy when I write, but over the past couple of days I have just allowed myself to get caught up in the expectations of it all, that it’s kind of taken the fun out of things for me.

(“Expectations” meaning ‘what should I say?’, ‘what do they want to hear?’, ‘what if I say something that other’s don’t like or agree with?’, 'what if someone else has already written something similar and I just don’t know it?’).

Instead of expressing what’s in my heart to say, I’m over thinking what’s in my head. Not because it’s not good or that it’s not worth saying, but because I’m too focused on saying the perfect thing.

Here’s a news flash for you (mainly for me though):

The truth of the matter is that I’m not perfect. I don’t always have the right thing to say, and it’s definitely probably not what you would expect me to say most of the time…especially if you knew me in real life.

(I mean really, who would have thought I would be talking about virginity and relationships, when growing up, I wouldn’t even say the word S-E-X. So much for that right??? I’m all about talking about this stuff now because it matters and its affecting our generation in ways that we aren’t prepared for, so so much for me being “prudish” … well kind of....there are still some people that I would NEVER talk about sex with- mainly my mom- but I’m kind of getting off topic. Sorry….)

But here’s what I’ve come to quickly realize… or rather after asking this question it has helped to put things into perspective: who decides what perfection is?

Other people.

I can continue to write and be who I am like I have been forever, or I can continue to allow the distractions of the last couple of days to cloud my judgment and convince me that I don’t have anything worth say (which is NOT going to happen by the way!).

So….I’m admitting that I temporarily got distracted, but I likewise quickly came to my senses and realized that me writing is not about being perfect or living up to anyone else’s expectations.

I’m not always going to say the right thing, some days I’m going to feel like ranting, and almost every day, (or every day actually), I’m never going to be  perfect, but in being myself, that’s my perfection.

So what I have learned this past week is that I don’t have to be perfect or adhere to the standards of anyone else….I just need to be genuine and speak from my heart.

All I need is to be me J

Monologue Monday: Letters To My Younger Self #2

So last week I had every intention of writing a few posts….

That is until I got sick and felt like I was hit by a bus :/  (Sorry for sounding so dramatic because I honestly have no idea what getting hit by a bus feels like….and I pray I never do…. but the point is I really did feel horrible….sorry this whole paragraph is so awkward)

But back to the subject at hand… I received some feedback from some of you all saying that you liked this addition to the blog, so thanks for the responses/encouragement.

So here’s what I would tell myself today….

(And if you have no idea what this is all about, click here).

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

Dear Younger Self:

Here is some practical advice that if you learn it while you are still young, I think it will help you through almost anything that you are going to face in the future.

Here it goes:

In life, you can be a victim or a survivor.

There are going to be SOME people who you come across along your path who aren’t going to treat you nicely, they aren’t going to have your best interest at heart, and they may cause you some pain and heartache.

It may not even be people but situations that you may have to face as you grow and face certain challenges.

When I say this, I’m not trying to take away from anything that you will go through, but at some point you have to choose not to allow your experiences or the treatment of others to define you.

Notice how I bolded the “SOME” people part??? Try not to generalize everybody. Not all people are the same.

When things happen to you and you begin to feel sad, upset, or any other range of emotions that you may feel, acknowledge that you have been through some things, but don’t allow yourself to stay there!

There is too much greatness and potential on the inside of you for you to use your energy continuing to relive the past or be upset about something that you can’t change.

Let go and move forward.

If you keep looking back, you are going to slow down your progress of moving forward.

Refuse to stay a victim…no matter what you go through, always remind yourself that you are a survivor and as long as you keep moving forward, you will see success…and healing…. in the process.

Monologue Monday: Letters To My Younger Self #1

There is so much stuff that I would tell my younger self….So MUCH!

Since there is so much that I could say, (and I sat down and just over the course of about ten minutes I was able to write down a list that was at least a couple of pages long, so I’m not exaggerating about the SO MUCH part), but because of this, I honestly had no idea where to start.

Should I start with something funny? Juicy? Sentimental? Embarrassing?

So I figured why not just start with the basics. It may not be all that exciting or noteworthy, but it’s the truth, and it would have saved me a lot of heartache and disappointments had I known it then as I understand it now.

So here goes my first letter to my younger self…. 

Letters To My Younger Self:

Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

 

Dear Younger Self:

Over the next couple of years, you are going to go through a lot of changes.

People are going to come in and out of your life, guys are going to be confusing, and in the midst of it all, you are going to be trying to find yourself.

My advice to you, (since I’ve kind of lived it already now ), is to learn to love yourself first.

Because you are so young, and understandably naïve in a lot of ways, some people (some of which you hang out with and confide in), are going to try to push you in this direction or that, and they aren’t going to have your best interest at heart…some of them will, but many more aren’t.

Once you learn to love yourself, and to be comfortable with who you are- in this stage that you are in now- what everyone else thinks or what they have to say about you won’t matter as much (if at all), because you will be comfortable with who you are.

As far as the guys who are trying to show you attention and whisper all kinds of non-sense to you, don’t fall for it. (Seriously…I know you want to date, and have fun, and have a boyfriend just like everybody else, but you need to focus on you first).

Besides, as you continue to grow up you will realize that many of those same guys who seemed so interested in you then had different plans than what was your understanding.

Wait on all that stuff until you have a better understanding of who you are….What’s the point of rushing to grow up any way?!?!

Well, that’s about all that I would say to you for now. I know you probably were expecting something grand or life changing, but nope….

My advice to you would simply be to learn to love yourself and to be comfortable with who you are….that simple, but that complex.

****P.S. What about you? What would you say to your younger self?

I know it may seem kinda weird, but it’s actually therapeutic! You can’t change it, so why not write about it and get it all out.*****

Monologue Monday: What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

Lately I’ve been in a funk and have had no idea what to write about, even though I have really wanted to write and express myself.

So I took a little break, and in that time of relaxing and enjoying life, I questioned my motives and intentions with blogging….trying to remind myself why I started doing this in the first place.

While I admire those who can do 5-7 posts a week, work, AND maintain a life, I realized that isn’t for me. (Even though this week I'll probably end up doing close to that many because I miss ya’ll so much and have so many things that I want to talk about! But the point is, for normal daily living that doesn’t fit my lifestyle).

What works for me, and keeps me passionate about writing, is allowing things to be organic and natural, not calculated and planned. I like writing here a couple times of week, journaling daily, and then going out and making things happen…achieving the goals that I dream about, instead of just talking about them.

I realize that you are probably like ‘where is this all coming from’, or ‘who told you that you HAD to write daily’, but I’m saying all of this for a reason. (I’m just taking a bit longer than I probably should in getting to the point…my apologies).

At any rate, in my realizing that there are no rules to expressing myself or to using the creative outlet of writing to do so, I decided that what was missing from my posts, and was consequently making me feel blah about it all, was me. (Sorry if this is feeling like a therapy session…I really am getting to the point!).

So I decided that what if on the days when no one has shared a story, or a story is still being written/edited, that I just sort of bare it all (for a lack of a better phrase), and put myself out there.

That’s where this new series that I’m about to introduce will be of feature. I’m calling it:

“Letters to My Younger Self: Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating, and Confidence”.

(And before I go any further, I just want to give credit where credit is due. This idea stemmed from one of my favorite bloggers, Sarah K, and a different idea came from a reader of this site, Marietta. They both did something similar and I just sort of fused the two together. Sarah writes letters to her younger, single self from time to time, and Marietta wrote a blog post here about ‘What She Wish Her Mother Would Have Told Her’. I think the combination of these two ideas is the perfect prescription for what I’m needing at the moment, so thanks ladies J).

Not only do I think this will be fun, therapeutic, insightful, and will remind me of how far I’ve come, but most importantly, hopefully it will help someone else along the way.

I still plan on doing feature stories of other women on some Monologue Mondays and the Male Perspective interviews from guys, (and will continue to do so indefinitely), and both of which you’ll be getting another post on soon, but in between those times I plan to just have some fun and do one of the things that I do best….writing while expressing myself J

-Hope you’ll stick along for the ride

 

Letters To My Younger Self: Things That I Wish I Knew About Waiting, Dating and Confidence

 

P.S. Next Monday I’ll start this series and at least carry it out to the end of the year (maybe longer…I can think of a TON of things I would tell my younger self, so we’ll just play it by ear and see how it goes). In the meantime, what about you?!?!?!

What’s something that you would tell your younger self about waiting, dating, confidence, self-esteem, relationships, etc???

 

My Interview with Krystal @ The 1st Lady Diaries (Part 2)

Before I leave for my vacation, I wanted to post Part 2 to my interview with The First Ladies Diaries. (If you missed Part 1, you can check it out here).

So here it is:

My Interview with Krystal @ The 1^st Lady Diaries (Part 2)

Krystal: We're in a very small percentile. Roughly 4% of adults are virgins at the age of 25, and naturally that percentage drops as the ages increase. With that being said, do you ever feel as though your dating options are limited?

VM: Kind of. It’s so weird, but it’s like all throughout high school and college guys were so interested in trying to get to know me and so forth, and were really intrigued if they found out that I was still a virgin, but sometime after 24, it didn’t seem all that intriguing anymore. Now, people are like ‘what’s wrong with you that you haven’t slept with anyone yet?!?!’ I usually laugh this off because it’s all crazy to me, but the fact that I am still a virgin at 27, (I turn 28 in two months), makes people have all sorts of preconceived notions about me which definitely tries to limit things. But once people hang out with me and get to know me for me, they realize that I’m not the weirdo that they thought I was, and that nothing is in fact wrong with me…I’m just saving myself until marriage.

Krystal: Well, Happy (Early) Birthday!! And yes, I know all about those preconceived notions--which is why I always say, "Stereotypes are for zombies."

Krystal: I RARELY date. Reason being, I truly believe that I was meant to be exclusive; so I'm very selective. When I do decide to go out with someone, it's because of something that he said--he has to stimulate my intellect. What is it that makes you decide to give a guy a chance?

VM: His personality. If he is attentive and compassionate towards others, is a good listener but can also carry a conversation, respects his family and friends, and loves to enjoy life, his character is going to pique my interest. I also have to be attracted to him. This doesn’t mean that all my friends and family have to find him attractive; what one person likes, someone else may have completely different taste in, but I personally just want to find him attractive- despite what anyone else says.

Krystal: Amen! Personality counts for a lot.

Krystal: It goes without saying that a woman of God should date a man of God. So aside from that, what are 3 qualities/traits/non-negotiables that are a MUST for you?

VM:
*Must be compassionate, generous and has a kind heart
*Must be able to carry a conversation about a wide variety of subjects, and is a great listener.
*Must be like to laugh and be willing to try new things.

Krystal: I agree. Especially about being well rounded in various things.

Krystal: Sadly, not everyone is supportive of those who practice celibacy. I don't know about you, but I find myself having the most interesting conversations where virginity is concerned. What's the most annoying question or comment that you get in regards to celibacy?

VM: ‘You’re how old?’ lol

Krystal: Oh yes, the age old question of age lol. And don't even get me started on the "spared" talk. This is a choice, not a matter of default.

Krystal: I made it pretty clear on how I feel about dating and labels. It annoys me. How do you feel about labels and dating? You know, the whole my man/my woman thing?

VM: My annoyance isn’t in labels as much as it is in one half of a couple labeling it, but the other half refusing to so much as state that he/she is in a relationship.

Krystal: Wowzers!! I feel that. For me, it's not a matter of not wanting to acknowledge the relationship, I'm just funny about guys labeling me when they really have no claim; I refuse to be just another chick on some guy's roster. But trust me, when I am seeing someone, I most definitely make it known.

Krystal: To be fair, I'll answer first, NO! lol Are you dating anyone?

VM: No, I’m currently single. I’m in a really good place personally though, so I say that with a smile on my face and an overwhelming sense of peace. I am so thankful for this phase in my life that I have been single, because I have traveled the world and have gotten to do a lot of things that I probably would have been hesitant to do had I been in a relationship. It has been a great experience after I stopped thinking about the what-ifs and started focusing on living J. Now I’m making each moment count to the fullest, while I wait on the one who deems me worth waiting for.

Krystal: Yes. That's someone who knows how to use her single gift.

Krystal: Since we're doing a fashion post in the coming months, I thought that it would be very befitting to ask this question. Why or does it even matter how a Christian woman dresses?

VM: The way we dress matters because whether we mean for it to or not, it sends a message to others. I personally used to love certain trends, but I realized that many of the younger girls that I was (and still am) mentoring were trying to emulate me, and I didn’t want to send them the wrong message. So even though I have the freedom to dress however I choose, I still try to be mindful of what I wear because I don’t want to set a bad example for them just because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I still try to display my personality through my clothing, but I’m just cautious of the message that I am sending.

Krystal: That's true. You never know who's watching you, and we don't get to choose who looks up to us.

When I tell you that I had fun with this interview, I mean I had fun. I hope that you enjoyed reading this as much as I had asking these questions and reflecting over the answers. My friend and I will be working together for the next few months over at her blog and my natural beauty blog. So be on the look out.

P.S. Let me know when there's a status update for #11 lol!

Monologue Monday: My Interview with ‘The 1st Lady Diaries’

Recently, I teamed up with Krystal over at The First Lady Diaries to do a few guest posts on one another’s site over the next couple of months. We are going to be talking about a range of things from great book recommendations (from some of her favorite books) to fashion tips (and whatever other girly things we can think of along the way).

Well, about a week ago she asked if she could interview me, and I thought that it would be really cool to see what type of questions she would come up with. And since we are both virgins, (sorry if that’s too much info btw but that’s a HUGE topic of discussion in these necks of the woods), I thought that it would be interesting to hear how her thoughts may have differed from mine, (if at all), on some of the questions that she raised.

So below I have pasted the interview that she conducted on her site, and you can find the original interview by clicking here.

Check it out and feel free to let me know what you think! (Actually, I think that I’ll post it in two parts to make for an easier read).

P.S. Have a good rest of the week J

P.S.S. Please feel free to leave comments below or to send me an email with topic ideas. It’s always easier when we make it more of a community feel as opposed to me talking about things that ya’ll could care less about! I hope that’s not the case!!! (At any rate, some current topics that I’ve been toying with are ‘Abstinence’, ‘Interracial Relationships (requested)’, and ‘But He’s the Best I Can Get’ to name a few. What do you think???

Monologue Monday: My Interview with Krystal @ The 1^st Lady Diaries

Krystal: Last year, I had the pleasure of writing a guest post for a fellow blogger and sister in Christ. This young woman is the author/creator of a blog called The Virgin Monologuez. (You can check out my interview here.) Her blog is dedicated to getting the word out that contrary to popular belief, everyone is NOT doing it. And you know what the "it" is--SEX! Now don't let the title fool you, although the blog is called "The Virgin Monologuez", she also features individuals who are married and those who have not always walked in chastity. She brings all of our stories together to one place where we can all share wisdom, experiences, perspectives, and opinions. I love the fact that she gives everyone a voice--allowing everyone to share their respective stories. It's brilliant!!

Well, we've exchanged emails a few times since then and we've formed somewhat of a virtual friendship. (I actually hope to meet her in real life one day, but until then, I'm going to turn the tables and interview her in regards to none other than celibacy and dating as a Christian.) Shall we begin?

VM: First off, I want you to say thanks for asking me to do this interview! I love “girl time” and just hanging around positive, like-minded people, so I was excited when you asked if you could interview me for your blog. Thank you.

Krystal: Whenever people find out that I'm a virgin, they always ask, "Is it because of your religion?" I answer yes because I know what they really mean, "Does fornication go against your belief system?" Even so, that only partially covers why I'm personally waiting. So I ask you, why are you waiting?

VM: The reason why I am waiting is two-fold. The biggest and most important reason why I am waiting is because of my faith. I genuinely love God with all of my heart, and I am so grateful for all that He has done for me and for Him always just being there for me, so one of the ways that I strive to show my gratitude is by practicing self-control and honoring my body as His Word instructs. For me this means waiting and trusting His timing, and knowing that at the right time, He will bring into my life the person that He has chosen, but until then I must patiently wait and work on becoming a better woman for me.

And the second part of that is that I think I am worth waiting for. I hope this doesn’t sound arrogant in the sense that ‘she thinks she’s all that’, because that mentality could not be further from my personality, but I truly believe that the man that I fall in love with will love me for the woman I am, and will be willing to wait for me because he realizes that I’m worth waiting for and that He will be gaining more than he could have ever lost in his waiting.

Krystal: From motivational speakers, to preachers, to parents, and all in between, everyone is saying, "You are worth the wait!" What does it mean to be worth the wait?

VM: My interpretation of being worth the wait is that the two of you are giving your relationship time to be cultivated and refined, while you get to know each other, before adding in the emotional and physiological elements of physical intimacy. It means that you realize that there is something so special about that other person that you don’t want to jeopardize the relationship by focusing on the physical. Simply put, I think that “worth the wait” means someone seeing something so extraordinary about that other person that they value them worth waiting for while they nurture the relationship that they are trying to build with that person.

Krystal: Everyone seems to have something to say in regards to another's standards. They're either too low, ridiculously high, or non existent. How do you define the word 'standard'?

VM: Average. Anything that is common, meaning massive amounts of people are doing it, sets the “standard” for what is normal.

Krystal: Okay. So you're standard is your personally defined status quo. Perfect!

Doing well gets old (for me, at least). Do you ever tire of waiting, and if so, how do you stay on track?

VM: Ohh….good question! My honest answer would have to be a resounding no! Don’t get me wrong, I definitely have had moments where I have questioned ‘when’s it going to be my turn?’, but the truth is I would rather wait however long it takes then to get into a relationship that is wrong for me, simply because I got impatient, and be living a nightmare. (Snapped and Lifetime have scared me enough to know that moving too soon or getting into a relationship just because I had a bout of loneliness, could LITERALLY lead to deadly consequences. No thank you!)

Knowing what I want out life and doing my daily devotionals keep me on track. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is going to take care of me, and so even when I get frustrated because I can’t trace His hand and don’t understand what is going on in my life, I still believe and love Him enough to trust His heart. (He’s already shown me He would do anything for me, He even sent His son to die for me! Why would He stop taking care of me now?!?!)

Krystal: Right!! No temporary bout of loneliness is worth a lifetime of unnecessary heartache. Wait it out, this too shall pass lol. So what's the most difficult part of waiting?

VM: Not knowing how long. It’s one thing to have an expiration date for something, but what about when you don’t know how long it’s going to last or when it’s going to happen for you. That said, it is in these moments that I remind myself that what God has for me is for me, and that His timing is perfect. I have since stopped thinking about the time and have instead started focusing on making me a better person; focusing on my professional aspirations and doing stuff for other people. It’s hard to think about yourself when you are thinking about others. And since it’s not of focus, I don’t think about it as much any more. I have a life to live; I can’t use it counting up days….I just want to live it!!!

*****Check Back Later For Part II (or just go to her site to check it out!!!) *****