He Thinks WHAT???

O.k., so I’m sorry for the previous pessimistic post. I just had to express my feelings, and sometimes that’s all you need to do to feel better. So I have released that, and it’s time to move on.

Just wanted to let you all know that tomorrow we will have a Q & A session from one of my good guy friends on the male’s perspective of sex and women.

An interesting fact is that we dated in the past, so we share a bit of history together. (Actually I asked four out of the five guys that I dated would they mind sharing their opinions and they all said yes, so things are about to heat up in here lol J- just kidding…)

But seriously, it should be interesting to see the different perspectives from four very different guys- really, they are as different as day and night, but I still respect them each for very different reasons. I’ll tell you more about them when I individually introduce them each to you though.

Anyway, can’t tell all my secrets at once (promise I’ll tell you more as we get to know each other)! So come back tomorrow with your blanket, a snack, and a good drink (virgin of courseJ ).

Ttyl!

Moment of Truth:

This site is supposed to be a place of encouragement, optimism, and love. I want to promote empowerment, self-confidence, and knowledge of self-worth.

That said, today I am having a bit of a not so good day…

Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive when everything that I stand for seemingly goes against the norm. Since you ladies and gents are my peeps, I’m just keeping it real with you all.

Am I encouraging you???

Question:

Do you think that sex and the act of practicing abstinence or being a virgin is tied to one’s spirituality and personal beliefs?

For me they definitely are, but I just want to know your opinion and encourage some friendly debates.

So please comment below, or email me if you like! Can’t wait to hear your thoughtsJ.

Monologue Monday: An Athlete's Wife

Hi everyone! Hope your week is getting off to a great start. So for today’s Monologue Monday post, we have a guest poster who is literally one of the sweetest, most thoughtful people ever. While we haven’t known each other all that long, I am still honored to say that I know her and to call her a friend.

Her blog name is An Athlete’sWife, and you can find her here. I highly recommend that you check her out; not only is she seemingly selfless and constantly encouraging others, she is also definitely the kind of person that you want rooting for you.

Last week, I asked her would she mind telling her story in the hopes of encouraging someone else, and without any hesitation she gladly accepted. Read it and let me know if you too can relate. So here it is (and sorry for blabbering, but I just had to tell you all how awesome she is before I posted her monologue):

Monologue Monday: An Athlete’sWife

I was 17 years old and my boyfriend at the time wanted to have sex. Up until this point I had really been afraid of sex and everything that came along with it. I was afraid to get pregnant. I was afraid to get a disease. I was afraid of the pain that people said came along with it. I was afraid that people would be able to tell. But I did it. I don’t know what made me decide that it was a good idea because it wasn’t. Afterwards I felt dirty and not like myself. 

My parents never really had “the talk” with me. It was more like “You’re not supposed to have sex before marriage.”  The end.  So I knew I wasn’t supposed to, but there was no other information. I mean I believed in God, but I guess I felt like it was no big deal.

 That experience really changed my life.  We didn’t stay together very long… In fact, he cheated on me, but stupidly I took him back. My parents found out and my mom was hurt, but there was still no real talk. My dad just said that he knew I would have sex again, but that I needed to always protect myself.  So there was no real conviction to not have sex.

I didn’t really understand until I was in my twenties, that what I had given away was so special and important. I realized the importance of soul ties and why God intended for sex to be between a husband and a wife. Looking back on it, I really wish I had not given my heart and part of my soul to those that I did. I wish that I understood that I was worth waiting for, and that if a guy rushed to get it, then he would rush on to the next girl. 

 I do feel that God uses everything, good or bad, for a specific purpose in our lives. Had I not gone through that experience, I wouldn’t be able to encourage young women about how important it is to know who they are, know their self-worth, know that their love for a guy is not tied to whether or not she has sex with him, and to know how special God made them.

Waiting is hard, but there are more people waiting than you think. I am currently married to the love of my life, but I can’t help but think how different things would be had we both waited. I definitely thank God for letting us get it right and bringing us together because we are perfect for each other.  We know that God designed for us to become man and wife.

I want to encourage you all in the same way that I would encourage my daughter if I had one. So here are a few of my thoughts:

 You are all beautiful. You are worth waiting for.  If he really loves you, he won’t pressure you. You know that you’re ready for sex if you’re married, live on your own, and pay all of your own bills. You can’t miss it if you haven’t had it.  If you wait until marriage, you won’t have any other experience to compare it to, so it will be the best you ever had J

~An Athlete's Wife

You are a Phenomenal Woman- Love Yourself

Often times we may seek the approval of others, but the truth is they will never give us what we want. Your confidence should not come from the validation of others. Look inside yourself and see your worth.

You are an AMAZING person! See yourself as the phenomenal woman that you desire others to see you as. Your worth is priceless- start believing that and demand that others treat you with the respect, dignity, and love that you deserve.

Hold your head up high, tell yourself how beautiful you are both inside and out, and walk through life with confidence and class- You are a Phenomenal Woman- now just start walking it out. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.

 In the words of Maya Angelou:

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

                      -Maya Angelou

Moment of Truth:

Having the job that I have I sometimes want to adopt…

then I think about it and change my mind

because I don’t want to have a child before I even have sex….

Is that weird???

(It’s just the concept of it that gets me I guess… hmmm )

I'm a Fan!!!

Hi everyone! I have been getting so many emails and comments about this blog, and the love and support has been overwhelming ! I am so grateful to have readers like you.

So I just wanted to say a quick thank you, and to ask you if you continue to like the mission and purpose of this site, then please join the site and become a follower! I get so excited each time I get a new email or a new follower!

Also, please pass the link on to your friends and add us to your Facebook page! We have some really good guest posts coming up the next couple of Mondays for Monologue Monday, and I even got a couple of my really good guy friends to “keep it real” and do interviews with me on women, sex, abstinence, confidence, and so much more, so stay tuned because the posts are only going to get better!

Just a reminder that you can find us here:

Blog: http://virginmonologuez.blogspot.com

Email: virginmonologuez@gmail.com

Moment of Truth:

In school I purposely tried not to pay attention in health class for fear that it might “de-purify” me (yeah I know stupid- but don’t judge me)… Nevertheless, now I don’t really know how things work…

Hopefully it “just happens” like I hear so many people describe…

 

I'm Thinking What???

I have so many thoughts running through my head constantly, so I decided why not share them with my peeps (you allJ)! So from this point forward, I am going to post little segments that I like to call “Moment of Truth”, where I write down what I am thinking as it relates to this blog (i.e. virginity, sex, abstinence, self-esteem…well you get the picture).

Now, what I need from you is a no-judgment pass. Some of my thoughts can kind of be … well you’ll see soon enoughJ, but nevertheless they are MY RANDOM thoughts, and I thought I would share them with you!

Stay tuned for the 1^st Moment of Truth!

Transparency

A friend of mine was recently corresponding with me via email when she said something so real- I literally had an aha moment! (You will meet her in about two weeks when she shares her story with us for Monologue Monday- it really is going to be inspirational and candid so stay tunedJ).

But back to the post… I was asking her if she would mind sharing her story when she responded by saying, “I would love to share my story…there is no power when you aren’t transparent about your past”.

In a society where wearing a mask has become more “real” than being yourself, it takes boldness and honesty to face yourself and to say this is who I am- that was my past, but this is who I have become now.

What type of a people have we become when our “reality” is scripted and the mask that we wear is synonymous with authenticity?

The reason why this was an aha moment for me is because writing this blog is not just inspirational and enjoyable for me as I meet all of you (and I really do LOVE meeting all of you), but it is therapeutic because I am having to face my self and be real with who I have been, who I am now, and who I really want to become in the future.

It’s so easy to persuade people to think that you have it all together, and that everything is picture perfect in your life, but where is the testimony in that? 

The reason why Monologue Monday (and every other part of this blog) is so important and so encouraging is because it is candid and real. What are we hiding from…there is freedom in acknowledging, forgiving, and moving forward.

In the very wise words of Max de Pree:

“We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion”.

Dare to be Different.... Dare to be YOU

Just Because

Just because I have never done drugs, doesn't mean I'm not cool.
Just because I am a virgin, doesn't make me lame.
Just because I'm not a fighter, doesn't mean I'm weak.
Just because I am not a party girl, doesn't mean I can't hang.
Just because I get good grades, doesn't mean I'm a nerd.
Just because teachers like me, doesn't mean I am teachers pet.
Just because I am not a rebel, doesn't mean I'm scared.
Just because I am quiet, doesn't mean I don't speak up for what I believe in.
Just because I have morals, doesn't make me a good two shoes.
Just because I walk away from trouble, doesn't make me a pushover.
Just because I think before I act, doesn't make me a loser.

I am who I am and this is who I shall forever be. I do not care what others think of me. Like me or not that is your choice. Accept me for who I am.

                                                                                                                - Poem by Angie Flores

Monologue Monday

Ok, so this will be the first monologue ever and I thought who better to share her story first than me- the author! Hopefully you won’t mind me being real with you, and if you do than you should probably stop reading now (because I am pretty sure that a lot of these posts could be considered too much information)!

Now back to the post- I tried to think about which experience I wanted to share with you first (and please remember that this blog isn’t just about me- it’s about you too, so submit those stories and get it featured!), but as I was trying to decide, I figured I would just start from where I currently am now- we can save the reminiscing for another time.

To be real with you, most of my friends have either one of two opinions about my choice to wait: They either think it’s admirable and refreshing, or they think I’m lame and that once I actually have sex I will see how dumb it was to wait.

To the latter I say- WHATEVER! I’m not telling them how to dress or how to act, so why should they care who I’m not sleeping with???

You would think that a person’s decision whether to have sex or not should be their choice, but for so many people there are other factors influencing their choices as well.

All that said, I do freak out sometimes when I think about my age (I will be 27 this year!) and think about the fact that I am creeping up on 30….

To that I say ‘Lord please don’t let me be a 40 year old virgin’! Lol!!!

Enough about me though, tell me- what are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think people should wait???

*P.S. I know that this was posted a couple of days before Monday, but I was really excited to start blogging and talking to you!

Welcome to Virgin Monologuez

Hi All! To all of my future followers, thanks for reading my blog! I’m just a southern girl trying to make a difference in the world. Hopefully you find me candid, encouraging, and engaging. So go grab some snacks, a drink, snuggle up and let’s chat…..

Stay tuned for Monologue Monday!