Monologue Monday: Where My Girls At?!?!

Surrounding yourself with a good group of girls is so important!

For the longest time this was something that I didn’t really pay that much attention to, and as a result I felt like a couple of areas in my life suffered from it.

For me, I am very much a self-professed “loner” in the sense that I can spend days hours and hours by myself and not even notice. Once I get focused on a project or an idea (or a good book J), I throw myself into it until my mission or objective is complete.

While this is good when it comes to work and producing results, it’s sometimes not so good in other areas of my life: i.e. my girl friends.

Only recently, (more like the last few years!), have I realized how important it is to surround myself by really good girl friends. I mean yeah I have some great guy friends, but nothing beats that special bond that a group of women can share while supporting each other through life’s journey.

There are so many things that you can learn from your girls that maybe you don’t feel comfortable talking about with others. They are also always there to encourage you, to push you, and to support you….to love you basically, in ways that only they can.

I’m a firm believer in iron sharpening iron, and if people that you are surrounding yourself with are not on the same level as you are or don’t share in some of the same values and beliefs that you do, then where is the opportunity for growth?

The reason why I point out that it’s so important to surround yourself with like-minded ladies though is because at some point these are going to be the individuals that you go to for advice. Whether it’s ‘do I look good in this?’ or ‘he thinks I should _____ what do you think?’

In most cases they are going to answer with their own opinions which will ultimately be a reflection of their values.

For example, back in high school a few of my girl friends at the time thought it was so lame that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. Any time that I would go to them about relationship advice, they pretty much always had the same suggestions... (Which were not necessarily always inline with my own personal beliefs or what I wanted, but these were also the girls that I trusted the most and who I was the closest to- so there was a struggle there at times).

What I began to realize was that subconsciously they were impacting my values and ideas.

After awhile some of the stances that I previously held extremely important to me, I begin to reason with some of their logic and take on some of their ideas.

Luckily it never happened with sex or some of the more important issues for me, but the point is is that people do rub off on you.

(Granted this was high school and I was a lot more impressionable then than now, but I still believe that it’s highly unlikely to surround yourself by someone daily and to never take on any of the same qualities and perceptions as the other person).

So now I try to be very conscious about who I allow in my close circle of friends.

I don’t mind having acquaintances and people that I just associate with every so often, but for those people who I consider my close friends and who I will frequently turn to for advice, I try to make sure that they are emulating the type of life that I am striving for or that we share in the same beliefs and values.

Your friends really do play an important part in your life, so make sure when you are choosing your girl friends that you are choosing people who have your best interest at heart and who will be there for you no matter what.

If your “friend” is always making you feel bad about yourself, or is always criticizing you, then you should probably reevaluate some things in your relationship.

You want to know that she is going to loving tell you when you are wrong in a situation, to rejoice with you when you are joyful, to help carry your burden when you need someone to lean on, and to love you when you are both loveable and unlovable.

So choose wisely and try to focus more on quality vs. quantity (i.e. it’s not about how many friends you have but about the quality of the friendships).

- Virgin Monologuez

P.S. Next week I’ll be back with another monologue from a new reader who wanted to share her story and her experiences with you all, so make sure to check back for that! In the mean time, have a good week J.